The Stuff Quotes

The top The Stuff quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

  • Col. Spears:
    Pay the drivers, issue a ten-percent tip, get a cash receipt.
    State Trooper:
    Yes, sir!
    Col. Spears:
    Proceed to the main lobby, we will reassemble! HUP!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Col. Spears:
    I will permit this colored man to speak. But speak one word of the Commie party, or one word in code, and I will blow his head off.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    Don't you know who I am? I am Chocolate-Chip Charlie! My hands are registered with the mid-New Jersey police as lethal weapons, and I eat them guns for breakfast!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    There nobody here but you?
    Gas Station Attendant:
    Well, don't you wanna wash your hands or something? I put in a new towel!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    The only thing Chocolate Chip Charlie knows better than fighting is running.
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    Pick a direction!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Girl in Stuff Commercial:
    When I was a little girl I didn't think there was anything I like better than ice-cream. Now I'm a big girl. And I decided there's something I like better, much better. It's called The Stuff. And believe me, now is never enough.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Col. Spears:
    The yellow sons of bitches, they took their own lives! Commie bastards, you cheated me!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    Are you eating it or is it eating you?
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Col. Spears:
    I kind of like the sight of blood, but this is disgusting!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Fletcher:
    Let go of it, Mr. Rutherford. You can't stop it.
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    I can shut you down.
    Fletcher:
    (laughs) - I don't know. I really don't know. I don't think anybody would pay too much attention to a disreputable guy like you. You're a rogue; you're a crook in the pay of the ice cream companies just out trying to screw the competition.
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    I could always kill you.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    That stuff comes right out of the center of the Earth and straight into our supermarkets.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    You are not thinking about going after it!
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    I hope you got a gun on you, Charlie!
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    How many times am I supposed to tell you my hands are lethal weapons?
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    I hope you're right, 'cause if that thing tries to kill me, you kill me first!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    Okay, lethal hands, kill the door.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    Watch out for splinters.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Old Miner:
    (finds the Stuff bubbling out of the ground) - What the hell is this? Sure smooth [he tastes some] That tastes real good! Tasty! Sweet!
    Miner:
    Harry, what are you doing down there, taking a leak?
    Old Miner:
    No.
    Miner:
    Want us to wait for ya?
    Old Miner:
    No, you guys go on ahead. I'll catch up to ya later [continues eating the Stuff] I'll be damned. Whatever that could be, it's mighty good.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Col. Spears:
    We're Americans, we've never lost a war!
    Jason:
    What about 'Nam, sir?
    Col. Spears:
    'Nam? We lost that war at home, sonny.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Vickers:
    Ben! No, Ben! I'll buy more!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Jason's Mother:
    Low in calories, good tasting, and it doesn't even spot. And he doesn't like it.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    Well, everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    You're Chocolate Chip Charlie!
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    Well, I sure as hell ain't the Kentucky Colonel!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Miner:
    Harry, what are you doing eating snow?
    Old Miner:
    (eating the Stuff) - Are you outta your head, buddy? If this is snow, try it. [Offers the other miner some]
    Miner:
    No, I don't eat snow.
    Old Miner:
    Come on; give it a try, that's not snow. Try it.
    Miner:
    (he tries it) - What the hell is it?
    Old Miner:
    You know, if this stuff is bubbling out of the ground like this, there might be enough of it here that we could sell to people!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Jason:
    What am I supposed to do?
    Jason's Brother:
    What you're supposed to do, you're supposed to EAT IT, that's all. You eat it and eat as much of it as you can and you KEEP eating it!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    Did you find anything out?
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    What you gonna find out, man, in a town that has just dried up and blown away, man? Must be a side effect of eating too much dessert; an urge to migrate.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    The name's Mo Rutherford. They call me that 'cause when people give me money, I always want mo'.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • Gas Station Attendant:
    Go away. Leave us alone.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    What do you mean 'us' man? We're talking to you!
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    No one is as dumb as I appear to be.
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

  • David "Moe" Rutherford:
    What do you think, Charlie?
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    The man is not in proper operating order.
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    Absolutely.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    I'd like to take him someplace and get him X-rayed.
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    Yeah, but what if he doesn't wanna come along with us?
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    We snatch him.
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    Oh, now, Charlie, I run a high-tech operation. I don't go in for things like that.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    I got a few low-tech solutions for our problem. We hit that sucker over the head.
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    Oh, well, ummm, we could do that.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    We throw him in the trunk of the car.
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    We could do that, too.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie:
    And we take off.
    David "Moe" Rutherford:
    In whose car?
    ‐ Submitted by Creep F (3 years ago)

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