NOTE: From now on, my odes will be Pacific Rim forum-exclusive.
A huge tragedy that frightened a nation
And scared the pants off of a generation
So why has this tale stooped so horribly low
To be filmed by the guy who was married to Bigelow?
A film that says "I'll never let go"
But what did you do, you dumb stupid hoe?
YOU LET GO OF HIS HAND! What were you thinking?
Why be romantic while the whole ship is sinking?
The piece of debris you're on can hold two!
The logic of this whole film is askew!
It's romantic and bad, and constantly boring
Why should I care 'bout this old woman's story?
Why did this film make so much damn money?
Just behind Avatar, this isn't funny
When I see this thing, all I can do is hurl
Who cares if he draws her like a fucking French girl?
You turned a whole ship into a fucking morgue
Just 'cause you hit a God damn iceberg
This film should make people go crazy and manic
Everybody but me loves fucking Titanic.