Surviving Christmas is a mediocre ninety-minute sit-com; if you're looking for wit and humor, stay away.
| Original Score: 5/10
You'll be lucky if you survive this dumb movie.
| Original Score: 1/5
Ben Affleck needs to stop making movies.
| Original Score: 1.5/4
Pique on earth and ill will toward men permeate this mirthless comedy.
The movie is dead from the outset given the artificiality of the premise about a lonely rich guy who hires the folks living in his boyhood home to be his family for the holidays.
You may not survive watching it.
The moral is that money can indeed buy happiness.
Despite the talent involved, this fails to raise so much as a smile, let alone laughs and Christmas cheer.
If you thought the Ron Howard Grinch movie was the worst excuse for a holiday movie in recent memory, then look out: this one's worse.
A colossal turkey.
All that's vaguely funny or Christmassy about this are the sweaty beads of desperation which string together like fairy-lights across Affleck's forehead as he hammers out one lame gag after another.
Surviving Christmas can't decide whether it wants to be naughty or nice and the end result is a sometime funny story, but with a severe multiple personality disorder .
| Original Score: 1.5
Affleck gives one of the clammiest, most panicked performances I've ever seen. The movie is drenched in his flop-sweat.
The premise has potential, as does the casting, but the script is so mind-numbingly lazy that it insults its audience at every turn.
With the release of this wretched film, star Ben Affleck takes one more ragged step in what seems his death march from leading man to celebrity game show guest.
Easily the worst Christmas movie of all time, and a surefire contender for the worst film of 2004.
| Original Score: .5/4
Ben Affleck's Christmas "comedy" is a misfire under the mistletoe, even with a germ of a classic tale hidden under the ugly wrapping.
Affleck may finally have found a use for his obnoxious personality, because Drew is amazingly annoying.
The desperation apparent in Affleck's bug-eyed attempts at whimsy may be the most uncomfortable aspect of Surviving Christmas.
Can't decide whether it wants to be dark or merry, and it bungles nearly every attempt at doing either.
| Original Score: D-