Ted (2012)

All Critics (198) | Top Critics (40) | Fresh (137) | Rotten (61) | DVD (1)

Sure, MacFarlane, you can make us laugh, but it's time to grow up. Seriously.

July 31, 2012 Full Review | Comments (5)

Ben Walters

Time Out

Top Critic

Everything goes on too long -- Ted's carousing, Lori's watchful waiting, John's wistful indecision.

June 30, 2012 Full Review | Comments (48)

Joe Morgenstern

Wall Street Journal

Top Critic

It's a goofy premise pursued with crass -- as well as sentimental -- relish.

June 29, 2012 Full Review | Comments (8)

Lisa Kennedy

Denver Post

Top Critic

You'll feel the warmth and camaraderie of a Bostonian and his little sentient bear.

June 29, 2012 Full Review

Laremy Legel

Film.com

Top Critic

I tried to resist but couldn't.

June 29, 2012 Full Review | Comments (4)

Bob Mondello

NPR

Top Critic

The idea of a toy that comes to life - and then won't go away - isn't a bad one. Too bad that "Ted" manages to overstay its welcome without ever really coming to life itself.

June 29, 2012 Full Review | Comments (55)

Stephen Whitty

Newark Star-Ledger

Top Critic

Hit and miss humour with problematic undertones buoyed by an intriguing premise and appealing performances from the film's human cast.

March 4, 2013 Full Review

Catherine Bray

Film4

A refreshingly original idea backed by excellent performances and terrifically funny writing.

March 4, 2013 Full Review

Tom Glasson

Concrete Playground

The movie is ludicrously funny much of the time, while occasionally too bizarre and nonsensical for its own good

December 11, 2012 Full Review

Phil Villarreal

OK! Magazine

The creator of TV's "Family Guy" directs his first live-action movie-in which he gets to say and do all the profane, politically incorrect and just plain gross things he can't say or do on television. And a lot of it is pretty funny.

November 16, 2012 Full Review

Michael Sauter

Film Journal International

MacFarlane is reduced to making increasingly laboured references to the 1980s.

October 30, 2012 Full Review

Andy Lea

Daily Star

Those who detest Family Guy will not be converted but fans will surely lap up a film that - whilst sometimes flawed - is rude, crude and often very funny.

October 24, 2012 Full Review

Laurence Boyce

The Sabotage Times

Ted presents plenty of fresh laughs and, from time to time, heart/stuffing-warming character moments.

September 27, 2012 Full Review

Ben Kendrick

ScreenRant

A film with Ted's ingredients should have you stone-drunk on laughter but this film is the comedic equivalent of pissed-in light beer: its 2.5% funny.

September 27, 2012 Full Review | Comments (4)

Adam Ross

The Aristocrat

I enjoyed and laughed at Ted, but I can't say I liked it; MacFarlane lacks focus, the jokes are occasionally offensive, and though the movie has heart, it bungles whatever message it's trying to get across.

September 14, 2012 Full Review

Jonathan Lack

We Got This Covered

Feel free to tell me to lighten up and get a sense of humour, but it's also worth asking whether it's humour that really drives Ted's nasty streak.

September 7, 2012 Full Review

Charlie Lyne

Ultra Culture

"Ted" is what happens when you give the creator of "Family Guy" the freedom of an R-rating and a big budget - and the final product is nothing short of raunchy, comedy gold.

September 5, 2012 Full Review

Justin Craig

FoxNews.com

The laughs are mountainously massive.

August 24, 2012 Full Review

Erick Weber

NECN

A lot of comic effort is smothered in conventional wrapping.

August 23, 2012 Full Review

Matthew Sorrento

Film International

If you've ever put a Twisted Sister cassette into a Teddy Ruxpin or wished you could have, this movie is for you.

August 18, 2012 Full Review

Kevin A. Ranson

MovieCrypt.com

Raunchy, intentionally offensive and full of warm fuzzies (including its title character), 'Ted' is one of the funniest movies for grownups that's come along in years.

August 15, 2012 Full Review

Linda Cook

Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)

With Ted, MacFarlane has produced a genuinely laugh-a-minute yarn which warms the heart and tickles the funny bone into hysterical submission.

August 13, 2012 Full Review

Adam Lowes

HeyUGuys

If you're fundamentally put off by MacFarlane's brand of comedy, Ted's cruder elements may well prove too irksome, but this film does have a sweetness at its heart that is pleasantly unexpected, even if it does follow an extremely predictable plot.

August 12, 2012 Full Review

Martin Roberts

Fan The Fire

there is a sophisticated social satire at work that is so finely wrought that though it might appear as the very thing it is skewering, there is something much more subtle and much more potent going on.

August 9, 2012 Full Review

Andrea Chase

Killer Movie Reviews

Ted gives a rude, irreverent and, in places, very funny new spin to the buddy comedy genre.

August 9, 2012 Full Review

Jason Best

Movie Talk

At times I laughed so hard I thought I would bust a capillary somewhere.

August 7, 2012 Full Review

Grae Drake

Movies.com

• 1. Ted: Oh, that was my bad, I was pulling a tweet.
  – Submitted by Matthew D (15 days ago)
• 1. Ted: That's my bad, I was sending a tweet.
  – Submitted by Matthew D (16 days ago)
• 1. Ted: Back off, Susan Boyle!
  – Submitted by Ah-lick L (23 days ago)
• 1. Ted: I look stupid.
  2. John Bennett: No you don't, you look dapper.
  3. Ted: John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.
  – Submitted by Ah-lick L (23 days ago)
• 1. Ted: I fucked her with a parsnip after I sold to a family with four little children
  – Submitted by Rodrigo B (2 months ago)
• 1. John Bennett: You know, if your leg got trapped under a rock I would chew it of to get you free. Is that cannibalism?
  2. Lori: Only if you swallow.
  – Submitted by Pedro F (3 months ago)