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Ted (2012)

tomatometer

68

Average Rating: 6.4/10
Reviews Counted: 202
Fresh: 137 | Rotten: 65

Ted's "romance versus bromance" plot is familiar, but the film's held aloft by the high-concept central premise and a very funny (albeit inconsistent) script.

60

Average Rating: 6.3/10
Critic Reviews: 43
Fresh: 26 | Rotten: 17

Ted's "romance versus bromance" plot is familiar, but the film's held aloft by the high-concept central premise and a very funny (albeit inconsistent) script.

audience

74

liked it
Average Rating: 3.8/5
User Ratings: 368,796

My Rating

Movie Info

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane brings his boundary-pushing brand of humor to the big screen for the first time as writer, director and voice star of Ted. In the live action/CG-animated comedy, he tells the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a grown man who must deal with the cherished teddy bear who came to life as the result of a childhood wish...and has refused to leave his side ever since. -- (C) Universal

R,

Comedy

Seth MacFarlane

Dec 11, 2012

$218.6M

Universal Pictures - Official Site External Icon

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All Critics (203) | Top Critics (43) | Fresh (137) | Rotten (65) | DVD (1)

Sure, MacFarlane, you can make us laugh, but it's time to grow up. Seriously.

July 31, 2012 Full Review Source: Time Out | Comments (5)
Time Out
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Everything goes on too long -- Ted's carousing, Lori's watchful waiting, John's wistful indecision.

June 30, 2012 Full Review Source: Wall Street Journal | Comments (41)
Wall Street Journal
Top Critic IconTop Critic

It's a goofy premise pursued with crass -- as well as sentimental -- relish.

June 29, 2012 Full Review Source: Denver Post | Comments (6)
Denver Post
Top Critic IconTop Critic

You'll feel the warmth and camaraderie of a Bostonian and his little sentient bear.

June 29, 2012 Full Review Source: Film.com
Film.com
Top Critic IconTop Critic

I tried to resist but couldn't.

June 29, 2012 Full Review Source: NPR | Comments (3)
NPR
Top Critic IconTop Critic

The idea of a toy that comes to life - and then won't go away - isn't a bad one. Too bad that "Ted" manages to overstay its welcome without ever really coming to life itself.

June 29, 2012 Full Review Source: Newark Star-Ledger | Comments (40)
Newark Star-Ledger
Top Critic IconTop Critic

A surprisingly funny and crude comedy about a man's relationship with a talking teddy bear.

June 30, 2013 Full Review Source: Big Hollywood
Big Hollywood

It is a film that seems to have an endless middle.

June 28, 2013 Full Review Source: Film Comment Magazine
Film Comment Magazine

Soulless, angry-white-guy comedy at its worst. This is a smug, nasty little number.

June 23, 2013 Full Review Source: Deadspin
Deadspin

I was expecting something more than repetitive jokes, incessant pop culture references and rampant misogyny.

June 2, 2013 Full Review Source: The Patriot Ledger
The Patriot Ledger

Hit and miss humour with problematic undertones buoyed by an intriguing premise and appealing performances from the film's human cast.

March 4, 2013 Full Review Source: Film4

A refreshingly original idea backed by excellent performances and terrifically funny writing.

March 4, 2013 Full Review Source: Concrete Playground
Concrete Playground

The creator of TV's "Family Guy" directs his first live-action movie-in which he gets to say and do all the profane, politically incorrect and just plain gross things he can't say or do on television. And a lot of it is pretty funny.

November 16, 2012 Full Review Source: Film Journal International
Film Journal International

MacFarlane is reduced to making increasingly laboured references to the 1980s.

October 30, 2012 Full Review Source: Daily Star
Daily Star

Those who detest Family Guy will not be converted but fans will surely lap up a film that - whilst sometimes flawed - is rude, crude and often very funny.

October 24, 2012 Full Review Source: The Sabotage Times

Ted presents plenty of fresh laughs and, from time to time, heart/stuffing-warming character moments.

September 27, 2012 Full Review Source: ScreenRant
ScreenRant

A film with Ted's ingredients should have you stone-drunk on laughter but this film is the comedic equivalent of pissed-in light beer: its 2.5% funny.

September 27, 2012 Full Review Source: The Aristocrat | Comments (4)
The Aristocrat

I enjoyed and laughed at Ted, but I can't say I liked it; MacFarlane lacks focus, the jokes are occasionally offensive, and though the movie has heart, it bungles whatever message it's trying to get across.

September 14, 2012 Full Review Source: We Got This Covered
We Got This Covered

Feel free to tell me to lighten up and get a sense of humour, but it's also worth asking whether it's humour that really drives Ted's nasty streak.

September 7, 2012 Full Review Source: Ultra Culture
Ultra Culture

"Ted" is what happens when you give the creator of "Family Guy" the freedom of an R-rating and a big budget - and the final product is nothing short of raunchy, comedy gold.

September 5, 2012 Full Review Source: FoxNews.com
FoxNews.com

The laughs are mountainously massive.

August 24, 2012 Full Review Source: NECN

A lot of comic effort is smothered in conventional wrapping.

August 23, 2012 Full Review Source: Film International
Film International

If you've ever put a Twisted Sister cassette into a Teddy Ruxpin or wished you could have, this movie is for you.

August 18, 2012 Full Review Source: MovieCrypt.com
MovieCrypt.com

Raunchy, intentionally offensive and full of warm fuzzies (including its title character), 'Ted' is one of the funniest movies for grownups that's come along in years.

August 15, 2012 Full Review Source: Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)
Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)

With Ted, MacFarlane has produced a genuinely laugh-a-minute yarn which warms the heart and tickles the funny bone into hysterical submission.

August 13, 2012 Full Review Source: HeyUGuys
HeyUGuys

If you're fundamentally put off by MacFarlane's brand of comedy, Ted's cruder elements may well prove too irksome, but this film does have a sweetness at its heart that is pleasantly unexpected, even if it does follow an extremely predictable plot.

August 12, 2012 Full Review Source: Fan The Fire
Fan The Fire

Audience Reviews for Ted

High profile comedy (due to McFarlane's name on it) interestingly/ironically about a man/boy choosing to grow up. There's a problem though when the technical reality of Wahlberg and Kunis relating to a animation (which they really do quite well) is more interesting than the story. Not to say that there aren't good bits in it, but those are mostly what were used in the pre-release trailer. In other words, meh.
August 30, 2014
ApeneckFletcher

Super Reviewer

The ending was stupid and resolved none of the issues that had led to their relationship crisis.
December 23, 2013
Letitia Lew

Super Reviewer

The most popular stuffed animal doll in 2012! Perhaps that is my new nickname for Ted because of his appearance in this movie, Teddy Bear become more famous and people just wish they had a friend just like Ted.. The story itself is quite unique, the fantasy relationship that turns out to be modern day - buddies friendship between a human and a talking stuffed animal doll.. Seth MacFarlane did a quite impressive job in here, as a voice cast for Ted but also the producer-director-writer of this movie.. And the most wonderful thing about this movie is : Seth takes the audiences from the starting point of John-Ted relationship, and then their highest point when they are already thunder buddies, then lowest point when John leaving Ted for Lori.. And all of that wrapped with a beautiful soundtrack from Norah Jones that really blows the audiences away.. Overall, I really like this movie..
September 6, 2013
ajaymuthecooldevils
Sanjaya 丘耀文

Super Reviewer

Sometimes silly and nothing original - like the 'mature' but still a big child that spent more time with his stupid friend that with his beautiful girlfriend, the stupid friend almost over with his pal relationship, it have a fight between them, the handsome boss of the girlfriend try to seduce her and doesn't care about the boyfriend, the stupid friend is a womanizer, etc etc - we all see this stuff in other films, exemple I love you Man and Dinner with Schmucks. We also see the cute Teddy bear having a nice friendship with a kid in others films, series, books and whatever. And the crazy guy that want to steal an important personal toy for him, another exemple: Toy Story 2. But still, Ted bring good laughs and become a kind of original comedy... how that's possible?!.. I don't know, but they did that.
July 18, 2013
Lucas Martins

Super Reviewer

    1. Ted: Why are you crying?
    2. John Bennett: My dick is squished by the TV.
    – Submitted by Matthew D (5 months ago)
    1. Narrator: Rex was forced to give up his pursuit of Lori. Not long afterwards, he fell into a deep depression and died of Lou Gehrig's disease.
    – Submitted by Mike P (10 months ago)
    1. Lori: Welcome back, Ted.
    2. John Bennett: It was you. You did it.
    3. Ted: Son of a bitch. You wished for my life back.
    4. Lori: No. I wished for my life back.
    – Submitted by Matthew D (13 months ago)
    1. Ted: Oh, come on. I don't sound really much like Peter Griffin.
    – Submitted by Matthew D (13 months ago)
    1. Ted: Jesus! I look like the robot from Aliens.
    – Submitted by Matthew D (13 months ago)
    1. John Bennett: I thank you for saving every one of us!
    – Submitted by Brian V (13 months ago)
View all quotes (109)

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