Ted (2012)
Average Rating: 6.4/10
Reviews Counted: 197
Fresh: 136 | Rotten: 61
Ted's "romance versus bromance" plot is familiar, but the film's held aloft by the high-concept central premise and a very funny (albeit inconsistent) script.
Average Rating: 6.4/10
Critic Reviews: 40
Fresh: 26 | Rotten: 14
Ted's "romance versus bromance" plot is familiar, but the film's held aloft by the high-concept central premise and a very funny (albeit inconsistent) script.
liked it
Average Rating: 4/5
User Ratings: 172,931
My Rating
Movie Info
Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane brings his boundary-pushing brand of humor to the big screen for the first time as writer, director and voice star of Ted. In the live action/CG-animated comedy, he tells the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a grown man who must deal with the cherished teddy bear who came to life as the result of a childhood wish...and has refused to leave his side ever since. -- (C) Universal
Watch It Now
Cast
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Mark Wahlberg
John Bennett -
Mila Kunis
Lori, Lori Collins -
Seth MacFarlane
Ted -
Joel McHale
Rex -
Giovanni Ribisi
Donny -
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Matt Walsh
Thomas -
Jessica Barth
Tami-Lynn -
Aedin Mincks
Robert -
Bill Smitrovich
Frank -
Patrick Stewart
Narrator -
Brett Manley
Young John -
Ralph Garman
John's Dad -
Alex Borstein
John's Mom -
John Viener
Alix -
Laura Vandervoort
Tanya -
Robert Wu
Asian Man "Ming" -
Ginger Gonzaga
Gina -
Jessica Stroup
Tracy -
Melissa Ordway
Michelle -
Max Harris
Greenbaum Kid -
Zane Cowans
Kid #1, Young Ted's Voi... -
T.J. Hourigan
Kid #2 -
Owen Clarke
Kid #3 -
Kristina Ellery
Heavenly -
Katelyn Lorren
Cherene -
Chanty Sok
Angelique -
Sara Fischer
Sauvignon Blanc -
Cassie Djerf
Waitress -
Joe Siriani
Guy at Table #1 -
Patrick Shea
Guy at Table #2 -
Henry Penzi
Partygoer (Ted's Buddy) -
Tania Cabrera
Girl at Party -
Colton Shires
Teenage John -
Viera Andrea Moya
Plymouth PR Worker -
Hajee Kim
Club Girl -
Lydia Hannibal
Ellen -
Shawn Thornton
Crazy Guy -
Eric Weinstein
Stagehand -
Danny Smith
Waiter -
Mike Nikitas
Newscaster -
Robin Hamilton
Female Newscaster -
Mike Henry
Southern Newscaster -
Johnny Lee Davenport
Husband -
Christina Everett
Wife
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Ted Trailer & Photos
All Critics (198) | Top Critics (40) | Fresh (137) | Rotten (61) | DVD (1)
Sure, MacFarlane, you can make us laugh, but it's time to grow up. Seriously.
Everything goes on too long -- Ted's carousing, Lori's watchful waiting, John's wistful indecision.
It's a goofy premise pursued with crass -- as well as sentimental -- relish.
You'll feel the warmth and camaraderie of a Bostonian and his little sentient bear.
I tried to resist but couldn't.
The idea of a toy that comes to life - and then won't go away - isn't a bad one. Too bad that "Ted" manages to overstay its welcome without ever really coming to life itself.
Hit and miss humour with problematic undertones buoyed by an intriguing premise and appealing performances from the film's human cast.
A refreshingly original idea backed by excellent performances and terrifically funny writing.
The movie is ludicrously funny much of the time, while occasionally too bizarre and nonsensical for its own good
The creator of TV's "Family Guy" directs his first live-action movie-in which he gets to say and do all the profane, politically incorrect and just plain gross things he can't say or do on television. And a lot of it is pretty funny.
MacFarlane is reduced to making increasingly laboured references to the 1980s.
Those who detest Family Guy will not be converted but fans will surely lap up a film that - whilst sometimes flawed - is rude, crude and often very funny.
Ted presents plenty of fresh laughs and, from time to time, heart/stuffing-warming character moments.
A film with Ted's ingredients should have you stone-drunk on laughter but this film is the comedic equivalent of pissed-in light beer: its 2.5% funny.
I enjoyed and laughed at Ted, but I can't say I liked it; MacFarlane lacks focus, the jokes are occasionally offensive, and though the movie has heart, it bungles whatever message it's trying to get across.
Feel free to tell me to lighten up and get a sense of humour, but it's also worth asking whether it's humour that really drives Ted's nasty streak.
"Ted" is what happens when you give the creator of "Family Guy" the freedom of an R-rating and a big budget - and the final product is nothing short of raunchy, comedy gold.
The laughs are mountainously massive.
A lot of comic effort is smothered in conventional wrapping.
If you've ever put a Twisted Sister cassette into a Teddy Ruxpin or wished you could have, this movie is for you.
Raunchy, intentionally offensive and full of warm fuzzies (including its title character), 'Ted' is one of the funniest movies for grownups that's come along in years.
With Ted, MacFarlane has produced a genuinely laugh-a-minute yarn which warms the heart and tickles the funny bone into hysterical submission.
If you're fundamentally put off by MacFarlane's brand of comedy, Ted's cruder elements may well prove too irksome, but this film does have a sweetness at its heart that is pleasantly unexpected, even if it does follow an extremely predictable plot.
there is a sophisticated social satire at work that is so finely wrought that though it might appear as the very thing it is skewering, there is something much more subtle and much more potent going on.
Ted gives a rude, irreverent and, in places, very funny new spin to the buddy comedy genre.
At times I laughed so hard I thought I would bust a capillary somewhere.
Audience Reviews for Ted
Super Reviewer
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- Ted: Oh, that was my bad, I was pulling a tweet.
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- Ted: That's my bad, I was sending a tweet.
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- Ted: Back off, Susan Boyle!
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- Ted: I look stupid.
- John Bennett: No you don't, you look dapper.
- Ted: John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.
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- Ted: I fucked her with a parsnip after I sold to a family with four little children
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- John Bennett: You know, if your leg got trapped under a rock I would chew it of to get you free. Is that cannibalism?
- Lori: Only if you swallow.
Discussion Forum
| Topic | Last Post | Replies |
|---|---|---|
| What a piece of crap. | 16 days ago | 51 |
| Watch The Movie Here | 26 days ago | 0 |
| The first of many Seth Macfarlene Movies? | 4 months ago | 3 |
Latest News on Ted
March 18, 2013:
Sarah Silverman in Talks for A Million Ways to Die in the WestSeth MacFarlane wants to hire her to play a prostitute.
December 10, 2012:
Five Favorite Films with TedHe's the star (well, co-star if you count Mark Wahlberg) of 2012's highest-grossing comedy (unless...
December 4, 2012:
Seth MacFarlane Plans Western ComedyThe busy "Family Guy" guy may have found his "Ted" follow-up.
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