Ted

Ted

68%
  • R, 1 hr. 55 min.
  • Comedy
  • Directed By:
    Seth MacFarlane
    In Theaters:
    Jun 29, 2012 Wide
    On DVD:
    Dec 11, 2012
  • Universal Pictures

Opening

—— As Above/So Below Aug 29
33% The November Man Aug 27
98% Starred Up Aug 27
81% The Congress Aug 29
58% Life Of Crime Aug 29

Top Box Office

92% Guardians of the Galaxy $17.2M
20% Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles $16.7M
39% If I Stay $15.7M
20% Let's Be Cops $10.8M
18% When The Game Stands Tall $8.4M
34% The Expendables 3 $6.5M
32% The Giver $6.4M
45% Sin City: A Dame to Kill For $6.3M
65% The Hundred-Foot Journey $5.3M
20% Into The Storm $3.8M

Coming Soon

—— Innocence Sep 05
—— The Identical Sep 05
—— The Longest Week Sep 05
67% The House of Magic Sep 05
74% God Help the Girl Sep 05

New Episodes Tonight

86% The Bridge (FX): Season 2
91% The Divide: Season 1
83% Extant: Season 1
—— Franklin & Bash: Season 4
—— Graceland: Season 2
—— Hot in Cleveland: Season 5
57% Legends: Season 1
—— Motive: Season 2
69% Mystery Girls: Season 1
38% Taxi Brooklyn: Season 1
43% Young & Hungry: Season 1

Discuss Last Night's Shows

—— Covert Affairs: Season 5
88% Finding Carter: Season 1
67% Matador: Season 1
—— Pretty Little Liars: Season 5
—— Rizzoli & Isles: Season 5
—— Royal Pains: Season 5
—— Sullivan & Son: Season 3
60% Tyrant: Season 1

Certified Fresh TV

86% The Bridge (FX): Season 2
83% Extant: Season 1
89% The Honorable Woman: Season 1
87% The Knick: Season 1
89% Manhattan: Season 1
97% Masters of Sex: Season 2
73% Murder in the First: Season 1
89% Outlander: Season 1
82% Satisfaction: Season 1
87% The Strain: Season 1
82% Welcome to Sweden: Season 1
77% You're the Worst: Season 1

Ted Reviews

Page 1 of 761
Apeneck F

Super Reviewer

September 21, 2013
High profile comedy (due to McFarlane's name on it) interestingly/ironically about a man/boy choosing to grow up. There's a problem though when the technical reality of Wahlberg and Kunis relating to a animation (which they really do quite well) is more interesting than the story. Not to say that there aren't good bits in it, but those are mostly what were used in the pre-release trailer. In other words, meh.
Letitia L

Super Reviewer

April 12, 2012
The ending was stupid and resolved none of the issues that had led to their relationship crisis.
ajaymuthecooldevils
ajaymuthecooldevils

Super Reviewer

March 23, 2012
The most popular stuffed animal doll in 2012! Perhaps that is my new nickname for Ted because of his appearance in this movie, Teddy Bear become more famous and people just wish they had a friend just like Ted.. The story itself is quite unique, the fantasy relationship that turns out to be modern day - buddies friendship between a human and a talking stuffed animal doll.. Seth MacFarlane did a quite impressive job in here, as a voice cast for Ted but also the producer-director-writer of this movie.. And the most wonderful thing about this movie is : Seth takes the audiences from the starting point of John-Ted relationship, and then their highest point when they are already thunder buddies, then lowest point when John leaving Ted for Lori.. And all of that wrapped with a beautiful soundtrack from Norah Jones that really blows the audiences away.. Overall, I really like this movie..
Lucas M

Super Reviewer

June 25, 2012
Sometimes silly and nothing original - like the 'mature' but still a big child that spent more time with his stupid friend that with his beautiful girlfriend, the stupid friend almost over with his pal relationship, it have a fight between them, the handsome boss of the girlfriend try to seduce her and doesn't care about the boyfriend, the stupid friend is a womanizer, etc etc - we all see this stuff in other films, exemple I love you Man and Dinner with Schmucks. We also see the cute Teddy bear having a nice friendship with a kid in others films, series, books and whatever. And the crazy guy that want to steal an important personal toy for him, another exemple: Toy Story 2. But still, Ted bring good laughs and become a kind of original comedy... how that's possible?!.. I don't know, but they did that.
Cynthia S

Super Reviewer

July 8, 2012
This is one of those either you love it, or hate it kind of movies. I LOVE Seth MacFarlane, so this was a no brainer for me. I found this really funny, and really entertaining. I had many laugh out loud moments....:)
Dean !

Super Reviewer

February 28, 2013
A very funny film if you like Family guy sense of humour. I did wonder about the whole talking teddy bear thing and if they could pull it off, but it looks great....must have put a lot of detail into the animation for Ted. The film is very funny, although very close to crossing the line at times but this is from the same people behind family guy after all so you know what to expect. All the thrown back's to things in the 80's make it even funnier if your from that generation.
Flutie A

Super Reviewer

June 20, 2012
I can deal with the humor on 'Family Guy', and sometimes it's actually quite funny, but this directorial effort from Seth McFarlane was pretty painful. A few good jokes, but a whole lot of nonsense. I'm glad the rental was free.
cosmo313
cosmo313

Super Reviewer

December 10, 2012
Supremely talented entertainer Seth MacFarlane decided to take a break from his animated shows such as Family Guy, American Dad! and The Cleveland Sow to try his hand at a feature film...and this is the result.

As a child, eight year-old John Bennett wished that his stuffed bear Ted came to life. Well, it happened, and soon after, Ted became something of a celebrity for a while. Twenty-five years later, Ted is no longer a celebrity, but he and John are as inseparable as ever. He's no longer famous, but John's stuffed pal proves to be quite a companion, spending most of his time drinking, swearing, doing drugs, and just partying like there's no tomorrow.

This would all be well and good except for the fact that John hasn't really grown up, and his continued attachment is really putting a strain on his attempts to take his relationship with his beautiful girlfriend Lori to the next level. Despite their closeness, it just might be time that John and ted finally parted ways...something that proves easier said than done.

When i first heard about this film, I was a little apprehensive. I do love MacFarlane, and Family Guy is quite a show, but the more recent seasons have been going downhill, and I was worried that this film might suffer the same fate. I Started to change my mind, and decided to approach this with as little expectation for greatness as possible.

I'm happy to report that the film is quite a success, and is probably the funniest and easily the foulest to feature a stuffed bear as a main character. Seth MacFarlane is great as the voice and motion capture of Ted, and I loved how they even reference the fact that the character is basically Family Guy's Peter Griffin as a bear. As the adult John, Mark Wahlberg is tremendously funny, and shows a real knack for comedic timing. Mila Kunis is really good in the typically one-note role as the girlfriend who can't wait for things to get to the next level, and she too has a nice rapport with her plushy costar.

As one would expect from MacFarlane, there's a lot of collaborators from his animated works involved here, and this easily fits in the with rest of his work, but thankfully it avoids being a live action version of what he normally does. The film is funny, wild, dirty, and surprisingly quite touching, charming, and moving at times. It even gets fairly dramatic and creepy in places too.

Thankfully it all balances out nicely, and makes for a highly entertaining and inventive film. The visual effects are great, Walter Murphy's score is really good, and the pop culture references are pretty much nonstop, with special reverence paid to Flash Gordon and its star Sam J. Jones.

Aside from the three mains, the rest of the cast are decent too, with Joel McHale excelling at sleazy jerkery, and Giovanni Ribisi being the epitome of creepy yet funny as some big highlights.

If you're already a fan of MacFarlane's works, you probably enjoy this no problem. For everyone else, well, if you like the film's high concept ,and want a film that's quite raunchy, then you too just might have a good time. Here's to hoping MacFarlane cranks out some more features in the future.
skactopus
skactopus

Super Reviewer

February 21, 2013
Seth MacFarlane does a good job at disguising Ted from what it really is.Hidden beneath all the layers, the story for Ted really is a romantic comedy; however, the 100 minutes don't necessarily play out like one. The idea of a living teddy bear and the comedic writing of Seth MacFarlane cover and spruce it all up. Still, the story is too thin and is more fitted toward something much shorter.The humor is in high abundance with laughs to be had. A lot of it is sexually oriented, which can get tiresome at times. As for the CG, Ted is excellent. He really does seem like a part of the cast.Seth MacFarlane's voice works well with the foul-mouthed bear. The gorgeous Mila Kunis is an excellent watch. Mark Wahlberg may be the head character, but he is just along for the ride at this point.Ted does have its moments, but the lack of meat in the story is a disappointment.
Anthony L

Super Reviewer

February 12, 2013
For me, Ted seems to be for all of the kids who grew up in the 80's, kids who loved films like ET and The Boy who could Fly. Instead of trying to recapture those films for a new audience, this film is made for us 80's kids who have now grown up. For that, I thank you Seth MacFarlane. However, you do not speak for a generation, I liked Ted and I like Family Guy to a point. It's racist and offensive to many minorities, the excuse that 'We're just holding a mirror up to society' doesn't work anymore. It's not satire. Take out the racism and the few unfunny jokes and you've got something special but as it is it is unfortunately tarnished. Three stars for the idea and for Flash Gordon.
LWOODS04
LWOODS04

Super Reviewer

March 19, 2012
"Funny and original. Disturbing yet heartfelt as well. A unique mesh of a film. I enjoyed seeing Markie Mark literally getting his ass whooped by a teddy bear. There are many funny moments in the movie actually. Not a lot of laugh out loud ones, but enough to make smile. My favorite part of the movie is Giovanni dirty dancing to Tiffany. I LOVED THAT SCENE. So sexy, LOL. The movie is full of just crazy funny scenes and that will leave you talking about it afterwards. Still I was hoping it would funnier."
Julie B

Super Reviewer

May 2, 2011
There are very funny moments in this, but the premise is too thin to be a movie. SNL sketch series - fo sho.
Matt G

Super Reviewer

January 31, 2012
First half is awesome, second half is meh followed by a so-so finale.
The Gandiman
The Gandiman

Super Reviewer

December 25, 2012
The at times incredibly hilarious "Ted" is exactly what you'd imagine Seth MacFarlane would do if you gave him a big Hollywood budget. His incredible ear for astute pop culture references and inability to see any line he will not cross over always give MacFarlane a large amount of material to work with. It's a testament to him that with "Ted" he ambitiously tackled a high concept idea and didn't overstuff it with meaningless plot points. He surrounds it with a sincere human story about crossing over into adulthood.

John Bennett, a lonely kid from Boston, wishes for a friend for life and he gets it when his teddy bear comes to life. This becomes an issue when he becomes an adult and Ted grows from being a cuddly teddy bear to a crass and belligerent adult teddy bear. Confronted with adulthood, John now in a relationship, must chose between his girlfriend or his best friend. Not a unique premise but it's never been done with a foul mouthed teddy bear.

Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis are game players in all the proceedings and that's a key for the film to work.

But "Ted" is all about the mind of Seth MacFarlane. Like his TV hit "Family Guy", "Ted" has moments of crude genius but one problem that plagues most of MacFarlane's work is also here as well. There are lots of moments of inconsistency in "Ted" as there's not enough story to fill the film's running time. If you are a fan of pop culture (there are gags involving "Flash Gordon" and Tiffany and quick, blink-and-you-miss it references to others), you won't mind the film's filler moments.

"Ted" is definitely twisted fun. Not suited to everyone's taste and at times there are misfires, but when MacFarlane hits a bullseye, it's a bullseye worth hitting.
Mark W

Super Reviewer

December 18, 2012
After many years of success with the hilarious animated sitcom "Family Guy", it's creator Seth MacFarlane finally ventures into his first feature film. It shares little in common with the aforementioned show except the same brand of lewd and crude humour, so any familiarity with that show will stand you in good stead in what to expect from this.
When John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) was 8 years-old he wished that his beloved stuffed bear would actually come to life and never leave his side. One stormy night, his wish comes true and Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) transforms into an actual walking, talking, bear. 25 years later though, John isn't really moving on his life and his lifelong friend is getting in the way of John's relationship with his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis). Decisions have to be made, which could separate their childhood attachment forever.
Now let's be honest on this one and face the facts straight up; without the gimmick of a weed-toking, talking, teddy bear this film wouldn't be anywhere near as successful as it is. The profanity of it's cuddly protagonist is the very basis on which this film relies on it's entertainment and for the most part, it works. The jokes don't always hit the mark but on occasion it delivers some outrageously hilarious moments. MacFarlane seems to be aware, that the more you keep up a rapid fire of jokes the higher the likelihood of some of them sticking. He delivers a relentless fighting scene that will bring reminders of the long-winded dual with the chicken in recurring "Family Guy" episodes and the rest of the film is peppered with in-jokes to films and popular culture of the past, as well as incorporating "Flash Gordon" star Sam Jones in quite a prominent role that's filled with self parody. Some of these jokes will be wasted on younger viewers or anyone unfamiliar with MacFarlane's TV show but one thing's for sure, the same brand of risqué humour can certainly be relied upon and the bonus of it coming in the form of an innocent, cuddly looking, teddy bear make it all the better.
The only drawback, is it's stumble towards it's conclusion where it succumbs to formula and loses it's way slightly but it's the performers that keep it consistently entertaining; Wahlberg is an actor I find it hard to warm to but he delivers some fine comedic work here and the always reliable Giovanni Ribisi adds just the right amount of darkness to the proceedings. Ultimately though, the star of the show is MacFarlane. His voice talents really bring Ted to life and his controversial and observational humour is ever present and welcome.
I wouldn't go as far to call it comic genius but it's certainly a lot of fun. Like it's title character, embrace it and it'll bring comforting rewards.
Josh L

Super Reviewer

July 11, 2012
I'm not a massive fan of Family Guy because I feel like most of the comedy is too drawn out and over the top for 22 minutes, but Seth MacFarlane does a good job of transferring his comedy style to an R rated comedy about a teddy bear. Ted does still have some of the same problems as Family Guy, but Ted also has a sweet side to it in the second half that connects with the heart if you have ever had a teddy bear or something similar. The first half is quite funny and even though the film is kind of scatter shot for awhile, it is still very entertaining. Mark Wahlberg is slowly becoming an underrated performer after his last couple of performances. Mila Kunis looks nice throughout the film, but she isn't really given much to do. Seth Macfarlane is fantastic as Ted (as are the special effects) and even has a funny line related to Family Guy. Overall, Ted is not for everyone, but even if you aren't a fan of Family Guy like me, at least give it a shot because I went in expecting to not like it and came away surprised at how enjoyable and funny it is.
UUd I

Super Reviewer

November 28, 2012
I like american humor and its fun to watching this movie. It's fun to make funny to our childhood.
Nicki M

Super Reviewer

September 20, 2012
Cute movie, funny in places. I hoped it would be a little better than it was, but maybe had my expectations up too high. It was a little predictable in places, but I would watch it again sometime.
MANUGINO
MANUGINO

Super Reviewer

November 11, 2012
The first motion picture from the creators of Family Guy.

Great funny movie! Absolutely fantastic, one of the best comedy movies this year and more!! Yes it was vulgar, very dirty humor and features drug use but what do you expect, you should expect this if you've ever seen Family Guy. If you go to see this movie, take your sense of humor and prepare yourself for politically incorrect jokes. There are some pretty funny cameo appearances as well.

John makes a Christmas miracle happen by bringing his one and only friend to life, his teddy bear. The two grow up together and John must then choose to stay with his girlfriend or keep his friendship with his crude and extremely inappropriate teddy bear, Ted.
Carlos M

Super Reviewer

June 27, 2012
A very funny comedy with a very obscene humor, which curiously doesn't come out offensive from a teddy bear's mouth - and also a movie that is surprisingly warm and sincere, showing Ted as a complex character and making him totally believable with a flawless animation job.
Page 1 of 761
Find us on:                     
Help | About | Jobs | Critics Submission | Press | API | Licensing | Mobile