Watching this movie again now, I swear I almost laughed hard enough to cough out my own lungs. This movie was just plain out bad. From the acting, to the dialogue (& I thought Crossroads' dialogue was bad).
THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS
I know exactly where to begin on how terribly done this film is:
Dialogue: Talk about bad, corny, laughable, & terribly written. I have never seen a movie where the dialogue was this bad (I heard from friends that "Gigli"'s dialogue was the worst ever, but I have yet to watch it to say for sure). I mean, this movie makes the dialogue from "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" (a movie I enjoyed, but was dead boring), & Crossroads look like "Schindler's List". Oh man, I cannot tell you how bad the words that come out of the characters' mouths were.
George Lopez's Character - "I am the teacher, & you know nothing..." Ok, so what does that have to do with the small fight that happened between the main character & the bully? I swear it's like they asked George Lopez (& pretty much as well as the rest of the actors) to just pull out some random shit from his ass & say it outta his mouth. In fact, his character, including his villain one, had some of the worst puns in the film. You wanna know how bad the puns were? Listening to the puns from "Batman & Robin" are a day at the spa.
David Arquette's Character to Kristin Davis's character - "I don't want you to go, you're my best friend..." he says that extremely laughable & corny phrase in a badly acted way to his 'wife'. After he lets her go into the tornado, she yells terribly & he says "No! No...come back...please", I swear I laughed my ass of to that.
Kristin Davis's character to David Arquette's Character & then viceversa - *She comes out from the tornado with Lavagirl, "I'm not going anywhere..." but you just said for David's character to take care of you 'son', David then says "Neither am I," Who ever said you were?
I don't even wanna begin to write down Cayden Boyd's dialogue because I swear if I did I'd write down about 10 paragraphs.
So to sum this down, the dialogue is the worst thing this film has to offer. I swear I've never seen a movie with dialogue this bad. You're better off listening to the dialogue from "New Moon", "Ghost Rider", & "Crossroads".
Oh, but that's the least of the movie's problems.
Cast & Acting: EVERYONE in this film are no-names & forgettable, except for George Lopez, but even he was forgettable in here. Taylor Laughtner played his character throughout the whole movie like he had been stressed out & has had a bad day. Whats-her-face played Lavagirl in such a corny way that you asked yourself if she even tried to act.
Cayden Boyd can't act for jack-shit, & that's a compliment. He looked & sounded like he was going to cry in the entire film. I'm not even going to begin talking on how bad of actors David Arquette & George Lopez were in this movie. Sasha Pieterse was pretty much telling us she wanted to be saved from this film, throughout the whole movie she looked forced to act.
Characters: They're all laughable, & deserve to DIE bye every means! The hero of the film played by Cayden was useless & weak, he should have just jumped into the lava pit with Lavagirl & died. Lavagirl was some weak, pathetic excuse for a heroin who is nothing but a distraction, & the same could be said for Sharkboy. Both of them should have died. The two villains were so bad that they should have married each other. They make the villain from The Smurfs, & Prince John from "Robin Hood" (Disney) look like Shan-Yu & Cruelle de Vill.
Plot/Story:Tthe whole point of the film is for Cayden's character to find his true purpose in the world of dreams, & to defeat the villains who are making the whole place a nightmare world. Sounds simple. But then again, it's so badly written that you ask yourself if the writers of this film were even thinking when writing it. It's all cliche & laughable. In fact, I almost forgot, it's just a sad excuse for a "Spy Kids" rip-off.
Now you'll see some Spy Kids in here because it's the same director[?]. But no, the film doesn't work.
Effects: Ok, the effects in here were terrible. Even back then when I first saw this film I was able to tell how bad they looked. I wouldn't be surprised if the effects in the movie were the only thing they bothered to pay attention to make right. I can compare the special effects to "Son of the Mask", & that movie had some shit effects itself. I didn't watch it in 3D so, I wouldn't know how bad the 3D was.
Final summation, this film is so bad, it's just bad. It rips-off "Spy Kids" in a very cheesy, & laughable way. No kid should be put to watch this movie. Go watch some other laughable movie that's actually bad enough to be good. Or better yet, you're better off having your kids watch some of Don Bluth's "A Troll in Central". Yeah, it's that bad.
How this movie scored over a 4% is beyond me.