• R, 1 hr. 23 min.
  • Comedy
  • Directed By:
    Larry Charles
    In Theaters:
    May 16, 2012 Wide
    On DVD:
    Aug 21, 2012
  • Paramount Pictures

The Dictator Quotes

The top The Dictator quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

    1. General Aladeen: I accept your job offer as general manager.
    2. Zoey: Well you can't be the manager because I'm the manager.
    3. General Aladeen: Well I can if I killed you.
    – Submitted by Typhon Q (17 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Good morning Nadal! Wake up, Good Morning Nadal!
    2. Nadal: Waaaaaaaaaa!
    3. General Aladeen: Hello Nadal!
    4. Nadal: Oh that is weird!
    – Submitted by Isaiah Collins A (18 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Do you sell any assault rifles?
    – Submitted by Isaiah Collins A (18 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: You promise not to steal again?
    2. Store Customer: I won't. I won't!
    3. General Aladeen: Give him one more for fun, Viktor.
    – Submitted by Jean R (18 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Don't worry. I am Wadiya's number one actor. You don't twin four Wadiyan Golden Globes for nothing.
    2. Nadal: Yes, you do, because you gave them to yourself!
    3. General Aladeen: My performance in Aladeen Jones and the Temple of Doom was outstanding.
    4. Nadal: I give it thumbs down.
    5. General Aladeen: Have you seen You've Got Mail Bomb?
    6. Nadal: Yes, I've seen them all! They're all terrible movies!
    – Submitted by Jean R (18 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: I'm attracted to you in a really fucked up way.
    – Submitted by Aisha S (19 months ago)
    1. Doctor: Do you want the Aladeen news or the Aladeen news?
    2. Patient: The Aladeen news?
    3. Doctor: You're HIV-Aladeen.
    – Submitted by Carlo Roy R (21 months ago)
    1. Megan Fox: Katy Perry said she got a diamond-crested Rolex.
    2. General Aladeen: Well, she let me aladeen in her face.
    – Submitted by Carlo Roy R (21 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Give a man a vagina and he will shpichs for a day. Teach a man to use his hand as a vagina, and he will shpichs for a lifetime.
    – Submitted by Carlo Roy R (21 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: You seem educated.
    2. Zoey: Yes, I went to Amherst.
    3. General Aladeen: I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on roller skates. It means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.
    – Submitted by Carlo Roy R (21 months ago)
    1. Nadal: When the thought of someones decapitated head upsets you, that is love.
    – Submitted by Carlo Roy R (21 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Sub Saharan, can you have 150 child warriors here by 5:00pm?
    – Submitted by Carlo Roy R (21 months ago)
    1. Pregnant Woman: You two make a cute couple. But could you do this later? When you're not elbow deep in my vagina?
    – Submitted by Carlo Roy R (21 months ago)
    1. Nadal: I'm a Mac Genius!
    2. General Aladeen: What do you do?
    3. Nadal: Mostly, I clean semen out of laptops.
    – Submitted by Carlo Roy R (21 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Why are you guys so anti-dictators? Imagine if America was a dictatorship. You could let 1% of the people have all the nation's wealth. You could help your rich friends get richer by cutting their taxes. And bailing them out when they gamble and lose. You could ignore the needs of the poor for health care and education. Your media would appear free, but would secretly be controlled by one person and his family. You could wiretap phones. You could torture foreign prisoners. You could have rigged elections. You could lie about why you go to war. You could fill your prisons with one particular racial group, and no one would complain. You could use the media to scare the people into supporting policies that are against their interests.
    – Submitted by Carlo Roy R (21 months ago)
    1. Aladeen/Efawadh: Wait, what sorcery is this?
    – Submitted by Arvin B (22 months ago)
    1. Nadal: Just do like a pull-up. You know how you do pull-ups?
    2. Aladeen/Efawadh: I invented the pull-up.
    – Submitted by Sriharsha R (22 months ago)
    1. Nadal: Look, where has being a nice guy gotten you, huh? of a bridge about to commit suicide? Still wearing Crocs?
    2. Aladeen/Efawadh: What's wrong with Crocs?
    3. Nadal: They are the universal symbol of a man who has given up hope!
    – Submitted by Sriharsha R (22 months ago)
    1. Waiter/Minister: What is your name?
    2. General Aladeen: Allison Burgers.
    3. Waiter/Minister: That's a made up name. What is your real name?
    4. General Aladeen: Ladis.
    5. Waiter/Minister: Ladis what?
    6. General Aladeen: Ladis Washirum.
    7. Waiter/Minister: So your name is like the sign, Ladies' Washroom.
    8. General Aladeen: Oh.
    9. Waiter/Minister: That is a made up name.
    – Submitted by Alleli A (24 months ago)
    1. General Aladeen: He is not a legitimate leader! He is not a legitimate leader!
    – Submitted by Dennis G (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Nobody touch the minibar? It's a fucking rip-off!
    – Submitted by Maureen-Francis F (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: [to NYPD patrol car] How much do you charge for assassinations?
    – Submitted by Fenky G (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Twenty dollars a day for internet? What the fuck?! And they accuse me of being an international criminal?
    – Submitted by Fenky G (2 years ago)
    1. Nadal: Why do you have Vita Coco water?
    2. General Aladeen: Because it has as much potassium as three bananas.
    3. Nadal: The line is still too heavy. Is there anything else in your pockets that could be weighing you down?
    4. Nadal: Oh, you kidding. So then why did you bring three bananas?
    5. General Aladeen: Because I don't trust the advertising. I'm naturally suspicious.
    – Submitted by Fenky G (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: You've broken my heart into 'Aladeen' pieces.
    – Submitted by Andea V (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: If I got a dollar for everytime I heard that.
    – Submitted by Hysen R (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: It's not amazing, it's just a little less shit.
    – Submitted by Ariane A (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: You go to the bathroom after Osama, you will realize the true meaning of terrorism.
    – Submitted by Anton D (2 years ago)
    1. Aladeen/Efawadh: What's wrong with crocs?
    2. Nadal: They're the universe's symbol of a man who's given up hope!
    – Submitted by Marina K (2 years ago)
    1. Pregnant Woman: Oh! My supreme beard...
    – Submitted by Renganathan A (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: What are Civil Rights?
    2. Head Nuclear Scientist: They're hilarious, I'll tell you about them sometime.
    – Submitted by Timothy G (2 years ago)
    1. Zoey: Take out the trash.
    2. Aladeen/Efawadh: [throws trash can at taxi cab]
    – Submitted by John D (2 years ago)
    1. Tamir: [to Aladeen] You're wearing Crocs?
    – Submitted by Rosie P (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on roller skates -- it means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.
    – Submitted by Adeel C (2 years ago)
    1. Doctor: I have some Aladeen news, and some aladeen news. what would you like to hear first?
    2. Patient: Aladeen news.
    3. Doctor: The aladeen news is that you are HIV aladeen.
    – Submitted by Vincent H (2 years ago)
    1. Store Customer: God, the police are such fascist bastards.
    2. Aladeen/Efawadh: Yes, and not even in a good way.
    – Submitted by Dominic R (2 years ago)
    1. Friendly Customer: You're such a nice man.
    2. Aladeen/Efawadh: What the fuck did you just say to me?
    3. Friendly Customer: I said you're a nice man.
    – Submitted by Japes . (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: It's a girl. Where's the trash can?
    – Submitted by Zora B (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Now who is the Lasist?
    – Submitted by Cody W (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Yakhmandel yakhmandeli ais aisha... I just made that up!
    – Submitted by Nishanth C (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Give a man a vagina and he will spick for the day, teach a man to use his hand as a vagina and he will spick for a life time.
    – Submitted by Johnson T (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: I love being an American.
    – Submitted by Walter A (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Ahh.. America, the birth place of AIDS.
    – Submitted by Didi H (2 years ago)
    1. Zoey: Could you please take your hands off my breasts?
    2. Aladeen/Efawadh: Those are breasts? I thought you are a boy.
    – Submitted by Saketh R (2 years ago)
    1. Aladeen/Efawadh: Oh it's a girl. I'm so sorry. Where's the trashcan?
    2. Pregnant Woman: Oh no we want it!
    – Submitted by Daniel F (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Megan, you are worth every penny!
    – Submitted by Zach W (2 years ago)
    1. Megan Fox: ...a ruby? What am I? A Kardashian?
    – Submitted by Terry S (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: Ahhh America, the birthplace of AIDS.
    – Submitted by Hasan R (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: [to NYPD patrol car] Is there any way you could lend me some money... maybe twenty million dollars?
    – Submitted by Chris P (2 years ago)
    1. General Aladeen: [rings bell] Next!
    – Submitted by Chris P (2 years ago)

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