The Expendables Reviews
January 8, 2015
Washed Up, Former Action Movie Stars: The Movie.
March 2, 2014
Has its moments, but overall a messy plot and unremarkable villain holds it down.
January 13, 2015
It may be cliched and corny at some parts but there's no denying that this movie is a ton of fun to watch.
February 19, 2010
In 2010, Sylvester Stallone has the idea to take every current and former action star, and put them into a series of movies. The goal was to create the biggest, wildest, most expensive action movies ever made, and have them feature every big name action star from the past 30 years. The studio was so much behind the idea, that not only did they give Stallone a huge budget, but they also approved a sequel, before the first film was even in theaters. It took me 5 years to watch this movie, because I honestly didn't think it was going to work. There is an old saying about having too many cooks in the kitchen, and while trying to include everyone was admirable, I couldn't imagine it working, I was wrong. Stallone leads a freelance para-military organization known as the expendables. These guys work for the highest bidder and do things the government can't. In the first installment of the now billion dollar franchise, the expendables are tasked with stopping a coup on a Caribbean island. If the rival organization takes control, the island would be the largest manufacture of illegal narcotics in the world, and would be impossible to stop, enter the expendables. Sylvester Stallone may be a senior citizen now and still somewhat hard to understand, but when it comes to action movies, you'd be hard pressed to find a better leader. His second in command is currently the largest action star in the world, Jason Statham. Even after seeing hundreds of action movies, including most of Statham's, the guy continues to impress me at every turn. All the strange accents make for an interesting mix of dialogue, but that aside, the story is good, the fight scenes are better, and the special effects are amazing. The Expendables was billed as THE action film to see and it does not disappoint.
August 25, 2010
If you like over the top explosions, really bad acting and a shit story line (bordering on none) then this is the film for you.
Rumour has it theres a sequel in the pipeline it should be called OAP Rambo & Friends Big Day Out
January 1, 2015
Not bad classic styled action movie. Fun to see all the action superstars on the same screen.
December 24, 2014
You can see what they were aiming for with an all-star action-movie cast and knowing self-references and the idea isn't totally bad, nor some of the action sequences. But the script, plot and cliche moments are. And the violence, whilst intentionally video-game is really too excessive. Just about kills some time in a sadistic sort of a way.
August 14, 2012
A bunch of tough guy actors in a big-budget action movie... pretty much what one could pay for. Special? No. Campy? Occasionally. Action-packed like a double stuffed oreo? That's why one should see it if he/she's into tough guys.
December 31, 2012
I own this on Blu-Ray in a three movie pack along with:
* The Expendables 2 (2012)
* The Expendables 3 (2014)
December 10, 2014
On paper it should work. But somehow it doesn't, to many teaser performances that doesn't really matter and a distinct lack of humor and self-irony. Watch the Sequel instead :)
September 14, 2014
An unfortunately dull thriller with a sustainable amount of thrills but overally weak compared the the 80's movies it's throwing back to.
December 7, 2014
A stupid 80's cheesy corny action movie filled with references to the stars's past movies.A movie that bores its audience bringing them nothing but pain.
March 21, 2012
Finally got round to this film so I could see what all the fuss was about.
Whilst I enjoyed the action scenes (they are very good set pieces and are endlessly enjoyable), the rest of the film just does not hold up. The plot is paper thin and almost non existent, the over-arching theme of comradery is forced and becomes of little interest, the dialogue is extremely cheesy and unfortunately the participating players don't have the acting skill to pull it off. It is awesome to see so many of the action greats of my childhood together in one place, but this also serves to highlight where their skills actually are (blowing things up and punching people). In particular the wrestlers on board are awful, neither of them lending anything to the film at all.
There are some exceptions... Mickey Rourke has a good go and I would've liked to see more from Bruce Willis (in here for a very quick cameo) but generally it is inexcusably poor. This is not say I didn't enjoy myself, but this film is definitely directed towards a select audience. I think Stallone took too much onto his plate and maybe should've loosened the reigns a bit and brought some other (writing/directing) talent in.
If you like a guy getting blown in half by a shotgun, tune in....otherwise, I wouldn't bother.
May 13, 2010
Unnecessary violence, ridiculous cameos, weak plot and Stallone leaves the girl in the end??? What was the point of this movie? I would highly recommend skipping this movie.
January 15, 2011
Very good cast, good plot. Intresting and action filled all the way. Made it better with some funny moments too.
August 19, 2010
I'm disappointed, I hate to say it but I am. Yes this is a wet dream for the 80's generation, for all the young males growing up with these stars...the ultimate 'Commando' style flick. The ultimate testosterone filled line up probably since 'Predator'...but this movie can't compete with either of those films unfortunately.
Basically there is no real plot going on here and what little of it there is is so shallow its non existent. Now admittedly I didn't expect much of a thinker but this just felt like a compilation of action sequences from various films all stuck together. An action film trailer if you will, even 'Commando' had a cool very simple revenge story going on but this is just empty.
The action sequences are very very good mind you, nothing but the best of course. Heads being blown off, plenty of knife work going on, a good car chase and full on gun porn...but I'm afraid that's it, there is nothing else I can say. The acting is dire, so very very bad I couldn't believe it. Again I'm not expecting Shakespeare but my God all the lines were so wooden and amateurish sounding. The infamous Arnie Willis and Sly scene was the worst in the film!! has Arnie forgotten how to whip out those classic sharp one liners? he sounded like a beginner!! (although the joke from Willis about him wanting to be President was sweet).
All of the cast were just terrible and I don't think they were taking it very seriously. Almost laughing through their lines at some points like its just one big boyband get together. Come on guys at least make the film feel real.
Can't expect all the lads to get full on-screen time of course but there's very little of Li Couture Crews and Rourke...but that's probably for the best with Couture as he's a walking meatloaf. His wrestling partner Austin simply grunted and tried to act hard throughout which just came across as one of his lame WWF pantomime acts (hated those two being in this film).
The film really could of been done much better in my opinion. At least two of the team should of kicked the bucket for a semi realistic approach instead of them all running around being virtually indestructable and never getting hurt. At one point I thought I was watching 'Operation Wolf: The Movie'. This simple concept would have made the film much much better (the shock death of Seagal in 'Executive Decision' anyone?), instead they all survive including Dolph who turns into a baddie and you think gets killed but comes back in the end and is a goodie again!...come on!!
Note to Sly, nothing wrong with making a good action flick that kicks ass but you gotta at least have a small percentage of realism ('Commando' was a one off which you can't try to repeat). Even the last Rambo was good simply because his special unit weren't invulnerable and got taken down..hence realistic. But this is just too 'G.I.Joe' silly. If a sequel comes along its gotta be taken more seriously than this and some of the stars have gotta die Sly. I know none of you guys wanna get killed off, don't wanna seem weak and get splattered but you have to do it to make this work.
Sly: Looks good torso wise, a little tubby and plastic looking in the face (too much surgery). Just came across as Rambo again.
Arnie: Looks old big time, kinda fat and I can't see him doing anymore action films ever...oh wait.
Dolph: Probably looks the best, still youthful with a jawline and looks damn fit still. Should of stayed dead for a touch of movie realism.
Jet: Not the best looking guy but he's nimble and fast, dangerous and still on form. Just a touch more screen time needed.
Willis: Looks fine but always comes across as John McClane to me, should of had a sniff of action.
Crews: Rock hard looking but a bad actor, shows promise though, underused.
Couture: Terrible actor but looks solid yet not as firm as Crews, shouldn't of been in the film anyway.
Austin: Useless actor and looks fat, pretty much like any beer drinking trucker in a highway stopover. Shouldn't of been in the film.
Statham: Cockney hardman (where's Vinnie?), again not firm but still solid. Probably overused in the film.
Rourke: Looks dodgy but unique, a cult star with a decent wreckage of a torso. Needed some ass kicking to do for sure, underused.
April 3, 2013
"The Expendables" honestly could have been a masterpiece.
It has the ingredients for greatness, and in the same way "The Wild Bunch" let ring the death knell of the aging West, so could have Stallone's films ushered in a proper burial for the violent machismo of 80's America (and the men who built careers on it). Those ingredients are present, but they exist on an entirely different wavelength than the complete picture we ultimately get, which is, expectedly, a big, dumb action picture full of terrible digital blood and even more terrible editing. But the moments that do shine through-- most apparent in Mickey Rourke's powerfully haunting monologue about his troubled, violent history, but occasionally in small moments of quiet humanity and buried darkness that flash across Stallone's eyes, reminding us of what a great actor he has proven to be in the past-- that offer hints of a deep reflection sadly shrouded by the rest of the movie.
November 9, 2014
A fun and good old fashioned action flick.
October 21, 2014
The director's cut is the way to go, but regardless of the script's inevitable shortcomings, Stallone's labor of love pet-project is a successful violent throwback to the far more potent action films of the '80's. Check your narrative and character development expectations at the door and get ready for R-rated action sequences that have been sorely missing from the superhero-movie-dominated cinemas of the 2000's and 2010's.
October 13, 2014
Old school and darn cool.