The Hangover Part II Quotes

The top The Hangover Part II quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

  • Phil:
    Shit! Not again. No, no, no no!
    ‐ Submitted by Jade C (16 months ago)

  • Alan:
    When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.
    ‐ Submitted by Joe N (23 months ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    Halla, diddy a squala!!!
    ‐ Submitted by Joe N (23 months ago)

  • Tattoo Joe:
    This kid 9 years old. He's got balls twice your size. Show him your balls.
    ‐ Submitted by Brendan C (2 years ago)

  • Tattoo Joe:
    No refunds, get the fuck out.
    ‐ Submitted by Brendan C (2 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I spiked them with muscle relaxer's, and my A.D.H.D. medication.
    ‐ Submitted by Brendan C (2 years ago)

  • Stu:
    WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
    ‐ Submitted by Niko Z (2 years ago)

  • Phil:
    Do you know where were going?
    Alan:
    Please address me as captain.
    Phil:
    Oh fuck you Alan. Do you know where were going captain?
    ‐ Submitted by Nelson T (2 years ago)

  • Stu:
    We're livin here in Alan town. And he's drivin our lives into the ground. When we woke up we were wasted and drunk.
    ‐ Submitted by Mani K (2 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    Pretty Boys..I have a lot of heat on my ass...I got, Bangkok, LAPD, Interpol, MSNBC.
    ‐ Submitted by Mani K (2 years ago)

  • Alan:
    First my monkey, then my hat...How much more worse, can this day get?
    ‐ Submitted by Mani K (2 years ago)

  • Phil:
    You are not my friend anymore Alan!
    Alan:
    Not even in America?
    ‐ Submitted by Mani K (2 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I am sorry guys! This is not part of our plan..
    ‐ Submitted by Mani K (2 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    I make love to lady boy!
    ‐ Submitted by Mel R (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    Thats because I like f**king marshmallows!
    ‐ Submitted by Drew B (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I'm kinda confused.
    Stu:
    I made love to a man with boobies.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    This is nice isn't it? The three of us back together again?
    Stu:
    Oh God.
    ‐ Submitted by Dana P (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    Oh my gawd, what is happening!
    ‐ Submitted by Debra D (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    Nice jump Phil!
    ‐ Submitted by Leo D (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I don't get it, is this a magic show?
    ‐ Submitted by Travis S (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    Hey everybody, here's some fun facts. The population in Thailand if 63 million people. It is twice the size of Wyoming. It's chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. Each year, approximately 13,00 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. The climate in Thailand?
    ‐ Submitted by Josh V (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    Oh my god. Alan, your head!
    Alan:
    No, your head.
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.
    ‐ Submitted by Rakesh B (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    There's a demon in me.
    Alan:
    It's true, he has semen in him.
    ‐ Submitted by Michael L (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    We live an alternative lifestyle.
    ‐ Submitted by Britnee D (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    What is this a P.F. Chang's?
    ‐ Submitted by Peter A (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I'm a stay-at-home son.
    ‐ Submitted by Colleen T (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    Ya see that? That's orange juice with a napkin on top. Ya know why? So nobody roofies me.
    ‐ Submitted by Rachel N (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    My uncle Roger said he once saw an albino polar bear.
    ‐ Submitted by Nina C (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    PIG!
    ‐ Submitted by Lili L (3 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    Ya, but did you die?
    ‐ Submitted by Ted E (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I don't get it. Is this a magic show?
    ‐ Submitted by Hilda M (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    Your password is bologna1?
    Mr. Chow:
    Well, it used to be just bologna, but now they make you add numbers.
    ‐ Submitted by Sani A (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse.
    Alan:
    I am a nurse, I'm just not registered.
    ‐ Submitted by Rollando F (3 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    Holla, city of squalla!
    ‐ Submitted by Arun V (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    (To Tracy) No, this time we really fucked up.
    ‐ Submitted by Tyler G (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    (to mother) Would a cupcake kill ya?
    ‐ Submitted by Tyler G (3 years ago)

  • Tracy:
    What the hell is wrong with you three?
    ‐ Submitted by Yasmin W (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    I just found his fucking finger!
    ‐ Submitted by Yasmin W (3 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    What? Chow not good looking enough for woman?
    ‐ Submitted by Yasmin W (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    Hey Phil check it out, he's got a banana on his helmet. This guy's the real deal.
    ‐ Submitted by James N (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    Wolfpack only!
    ‐ Submitted by Guido S (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    Where not friends anymore!
    Alan:
    Are you serious Phil, even in America?
    Phil:
    Yes!
    Stu:
    Your the bearded devil!
    ‐ Submitted by Guido S (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    Better than Long John's?
    Stu:
    Yes.
    Alan:
    I'll be the judge of that.
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    Sorry, I'm allowed to it, its a bachelor party! Drink up everyone! Oh wait, we can't cause we're at a fucking IHOP!
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    [to Alan] You're the bearded devil!
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    Alan, what did you do!? Did you roofie me!?
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    (laughs) We love to party.
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    Your hair is gone. No, up.
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    Stu, pull that monkey in!
    Stu:
    He's so strong!
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    Chow crossing!
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    Mother, I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here.
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
    Alan:
    Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.
    ‐ Submitted by Louise D (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I'm at my wits end!
    ‐ Submitted by Sasha S (3 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    Did you die?
    Phil:
    No, but i was shot.
    Mr. Chow:
    But did you die?
    ‐ Submitted by Jack S (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    It's a monkey!
    ‐ Submitted by Benny B (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    K as in knife.
    ‐ Submitted by Claire B (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    I have a weakness for prostitutes apparently, all kinds.
    ‐ Submitted by Gina C (3 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    Holla, City of Squalor!
    ‐ Submitted by javo c (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    Is there a Long John Silver's on the island?
    ‐ Submitted by Loren H (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    Fuck the police!
    ‐ Submitted by Brody R (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I wish monkeys could Skype. Maybe some day.
    ‐ Submitted by Lori G (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    God, I never get to keep no monkey.
    ‐ Submitted by trimeka e (3 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    We had a sick night bitches!
    ‐ Submitted by Kevin M (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    First I lost my monkey, and now my hat. Could this day get any worse?
    ‐ Submitted by Mallory B (3 years ago)

  • Mr. Chow:
    Sometimes when you snort coke, your heart stops and starts up again. Read a book!
    ‐ Submitted by Gerdine B (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I guess we don't do dessert anymore?
    ‐ Submitted by Anthony E (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    I was gonna have you sing 'Burn it Up' by the Jonas Brothers, but then I remembered you don't like Indie music.
    ‐ Submitted by Adrian B (3 years ago)

  • Drug Dealing Monkey:
    Ooh ooh aah aah.
    ‐ Submitted by Bill E (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    This is not Stu's first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years...
    ‐ Submitted by John D (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    Chow! What are you doing here?
    Alan:
    He's my plus one.
    ‐ Submitted by Mark H (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    You ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff, Chow?
    Mr. Chow:
    I'm an international criminal, it always ends like this.
    ‐ Submitted by Gregory R (3 years ago)

  • Alan:
    This is kind of nice, isn't it? Three of us back together again?
    Stu:
    Oh God!
    ‐ Submitted by Butchie B (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    Oh my god! Alan, your head.
    Alan:
    No, your head.
    ‐ Submitted by Benny B (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.
    ‐ Submitted by Adam B (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    You're not my friend.
    Alan:
    Don't say that, Phil. Are you serious? Even in America?
    Stu:
    You're the bearded devil!
    ‐ Submitted by Megan F (3 years ago)

  • Phil:
    It happened again.
    ‐ Submitted by Mike S (3 years ago)

  • Stu:
    This is a real tattoo!
    ‐ Submitted by Chris P (4 years ago)

  • Alan:
    This is kinda nice isn't it? The three of us back together again?
    ‐ Submitted by Chris P (4 years ago)

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