Total Recall: Fake (And Often Fatal) Movie Sports

With The Hunger Games hitting theaters, we run down some memorable big screen athletic competitions that you should definitely not try at home.

Fake Sports

Jennifer Lawrence hits the ground running this weekend with The Hunger Games, carrying a teen-friendly franchise-in-waiting that Hollywood's hoping will pick up where Harry Potter (and, later this year, Twilight) left off. And as a contestant in the titular games, she also joins a long film tradition of protagonists playing fictional sports -- one we decided would be perfect to discuss in this week's list. From action to fantasy, comedy to drama, it's time to play some fake games... Total Recall style!

BASEketball (BASEketball)

42%

Once upon a time, noted Hollywood satirist-turned-political activist David Zucker wondered what would happen if people played Horse on a baseball diamond, and the rest, as they say, was history. Released in 1998, BASEketball united South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker in a live-action comedy about a pair of slackers who accidentally invent a game that takes the nation by storm. Sadly, the film failed to capture that magic, grossing a little over $7 million against a $23 million budget -- although it inspired at least one real-life league.

Mode: HLS Link

Death Race (Death Race 2000)

85%

For commuters in certain parts of the country, getting behind the wheel can feel like entering into a lawless, post-apocalyptic bloodsport. But the next time some jerk cuts you off, just remember: At least you're not a contestant in Death Race 2000, Paul Bartel's blood-soaked ode to the vicarious thrill of putting the pedal to the metal and feeding asphalt to anyone unlucky enough to get in your way. (Also be glad you aren't watching Paul W.S. Anderson's generally inferior 2008 remake, which gains Jason Statham but loses the authentic grindhouse vibe.)

Mode: HLS Link

Dejarik (Star Wars)

93%

For all the awesome advances and cool gadgets that science has given us, we still have yet to achieve the thrill of playing hologram animated chess on the deck of a ship hurtling through hyperspace with a giant furry thing acting as co-pilot. Fortunately, we can live vicariously through the scene in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope -- and benefit from the countless hours devoted to the study of this fake game by the noble nerds responsible for its Wookieepedia entry.

Mode: HLS Link

The Game (The Blood of Heroes)

13%

Before the Insane Clown Posse gave us Juggalos, The Blood of Heroes gave us Juggers, roving bands of post-apocalyptic lunatics who battered each other mercilessly in order to collect dog skull trophies in "The Game," a bloody, psychotic spin on field hockey, and attract the attention of "The League" so they could play in luxurious underground cities. If it all sounds like dystopian hooey, it sort of is, but Heroes has enough of a cult following that a real-life variant on "The Game" -- called Jugger -- is played in a handful of countries around the world. Guard your dog skulls, people.

Mode: HLS Link

Jumpball (Starship Troopers)

63%

Imagine the NFL if it played its games with bike helmets and paralysis-defying leaps in high school gymnasiums, and you'll have an idea of what this sport played by the citizens of 24th century America in Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers is all about. As futuristic fake movie sports go, Jumpball isn't all that exotic-looking -- sort of like the Arena Football League without Jon Bon Jovi in the owner's box -- but it gives the movie a properly testosterone-filled buildup to the Bug-slaying main event.

Podracing (Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace )

57%

Podracing tournaments are a big deal on Anakin Skywalker's home planet of Tatooine, where the outcome can be important enough to tempt a grumpy Toydarian into making a high-stakes bet that could end up costing him his adorable little human slave. Jake Lloyd's finest hour -- and arguably the most exciting part of the movie -- the podracing segment in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace gave (albeit fleeting) free rein to George Lucas' affection for Golden Age cliffhanger action serials.

Comments

Tom Carter

Tom Carter

Think someone left Battle Royale's Program/BR Act out. That and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire's Triwizard Tournament...

Mar 21 - 03:43 PM

paul o.

paul oh

Agreed!!!!

Mar 21 - 08:38 PM

Cesar Gomez

Cesar Gomez

Battle Royal, one of my favorite films of all time... They dont give credit to foreign films :(

Mar 22 - 12:16 PM

scottybordas9

scott bordas

even though BR inspired the hunger games in which this list is honoring

Mar 26 - 01:23 PM

Emil Nedved

Emil Nedved

Battle Royale <3
You sir, are awesome

Mar 30 - 02:38 AM

King  S.

King Simba

You could fill an entire list with Harry Potter games. Wizarding Chess, The Triwizard Tournament, Wizarding duels, Quiditch, the list just goes on.

On a side note, would Shaolin Soccer count? Granted, the sport itself is normal, it's just the people who are playing it that are special, but hey, kicking the ball so hard it errupts into flames? That's gotta count for something.

Mar 22 - 01:18 PM

Nick P.

Nick Porter

Ah, Shaolin Soccer, the sport of kings. Love that film, provided you skip virtually everything between the matches...

Also love BASEketball on every level (perhaps not the classiest move to open the main part of the film with an OAP dildo gag, admittedly), and it makes me very sad that everyone hates it so much, including Trey and Matt.

Mar 22 - 04:04 PM

lukeoberholtzer

Luke Oberholtzer

wait...trey and matt hate baseketball??

Mar 22 - 05:13 PM

Nick P.

Nick Porter

Yup. I don't know if they've mellowed with age, but a few years ago, mentioning BASEketball (worse still, saying you liked it) was one of the quickest ways to piss them off.

Mar 22 - 05:33 PM

Dan Padolsky

Dan Padolsky

BASEketball is a classic. Sad to hear they're embarrassed by it. I watch it over and over and it never gets old.

Mar 24 - 01:36 PM

This comment has been removed.

Dave J

Dave J

I was going to say "Mad Max 3" but didn't need to after finding it at the bottom of the next page! Some of the other ones that could've been on this list are "Logan's Run", "Futureworld", "Westworld" and "Tron" to name a few!

Mar 21 - 04:02 PM

Gabriel Zisk

Gabriel Zisk

Podracing 64 beats all.

Mar 21 - 04:02 PM

Brad Jemmi

Brad Jemmi

ahhhh memories

Mar 21 - 05:58 PM

Evan Massapacklenash

Evan Massapacklenash

YES!

Mar 22 - 06:24 PM

Mark Hamstra

Mark Hamstra

Lucas can suck it. PHANTOM MENACE was stupid beyond belief. The pod racing was idiotic.

Mar 24 - 01:55 PM

Dave J

Dave J

I was going to say "Mad Max 3" but didn't need to after finding it at the bottom of the next page! Some of the other ones that could've been on this list are "Logan's Run", "Futureworld", "Westworld" and "Tron" to name a few!

Mar 21 - 04:02 PM

Dave J

Dave J

I was going to say "Mad Max 3" but didn't need to after finding it at the bottom of the next page! Some of the other ones that could've been on this list are "Logan's Run", "Futureworld", Westworld" and "Tron" to name a few!

Mar 21 - 04:15 PM

Dave J

Dave J

For non-science fiction "(And Often Fatal) Movie Sports" movies I'd include the UK film "The Tournament", "Gladiator", "Ben Hur" of the chariot race, "Spartacus" and "Fight Club" to name a few!

Mar 21 - 04:16 PM

Dave J

Dave J

For non-science fiction "(And Often Fatal) Movie Sports" movies I'd include the UK film "The Tournament", "Gladiator", "Ben Hur" of the chariot race, "Spartacus" and "Fight Club" to name a few!

Mar 21 - 04:16 PM

Hamza A.

Hamza Ansari

No Quiddich or Battle Royale?

Mar 21 - 04:18 PM

Kurt K.

Kurt Keefner

Quidditch is on page 2

Mar 21 - 04:55 PM

Omar de la Cruz

Omar de la Cruz

REALLY? No Tron? REALLY?! This list is a fail.

Mar 21 - 04:26 PM

Andrew Milito

Andrew Milito

Yeah, lightcycle races and the disc fighting from Legacy were neat!

Mar 21 - 04:31 PM

Mark Hamstra

Mark Hamstra

Good call Omar

Mar 24 - 01:57 PM

Andrew Milito

Andrew Milito

Yeah, lightcycle races and the disc fighting from Legacy were neat!

Mar 21 - 04:31 PM

Mark Hamstra

Mark Hamstra

Good call Omar

Mar 24 - 01:57 PM

Kurt K.

Kurt Keefner

Quidditch is on page 2

Mar 21 - 04:55 PM

Superzone

Link O'Fett

If quidditch was real... well, that would just be awesome.

Mar 21 - 05:10 PM

Chris Zimmerman

Chris Zimmerman

Technically, there is Muggle Quidditch, which is popular on college campuses.

Mar 21 - 05:30 PM

Morgan Work

Morgan Work

lol wouldn't that just be lacrosse?

Mar 21 - 06:31 PM

Glenn Stein

Glenn Stein

No, lacrosse is actually interesting and has rules that make sense.

Mar 22 - 02:21 PM

Stephen Smith

Stephen Smith

"Popular," eh?

Mar 22 - 09:26 AM

TheRapist

J H

Nice to see "THE BLOOD OF HEROES" get some attention.

Mar 21 - 05:14 PM

Kriftonucci

Jim Ylonen

Battle F#$%ing Royale. :(

Mar 21 - 05:19 PM

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