The Three Musketeers (2011)

All Critics (93) | Top Critics (15) | Fresh (22) | Rotten (68) | DVD (8)

Even the most liberal viewer is likely to echo Milady's thoughts of D'Artagnan: "You are very amiable, no doubt, but you would be charming if you would only depart."

October 24, 2011 Full Review | Comments (2)

Elizabeth Weitzman

New York Daily News

Top Critic

Call it the Robert Downey Jr. Meets Sherlock Holmes Effect. A classic popular adventure gets overblown, juiced-up, and generally CGI-ified.

October 23, 2011 Full Review | Comments (5)

Mark Feeney

Boston Globe

Top Critic

In the worst possible case, this could go on and on, but please, let's hope it doesn't.

October 21, 2011 Full Review | Comments (3)

Stephen Holden

New York Times

Top Critic

Every time you think it can't get any stupider, it gets right up in your face, calls you "bro," and gets stupider.

October 21, 2011 Full Review | Comments (5)

Eric D. Snider

Film.com

Top Critic

Jovovich tries hard to be terribly, terribly wicked, but her performance finds a hitherto unknown middle ground between Divine in Pink Flamingos and Halle Berry in Catwoman that's just embarrassing.

October 21, 2011 Full Review

Alonso Duralde

The Wrap

Top Critic

All the borderline pantomime acting and wigged buffoonery is deliberate and silly, but The Three Musketeers remains charmless, a romp brought down by its lead-footed script.

October 21, 2011 Full Review

Liam Lacey

Globe and Mail

Top Critic

A befouling of Dumas.

December 30, 2012 Full Review

Roger Moore

McClatchy-Tribune News Service

The film may have its fun moments but this adaptation does nothing more than make these Three Musketeers look like a bunch of Stooges.

September 22, 2012 Full Review

Kristal Cooper

We Got This Covered

While you're busy looking at the special effects, you'll begin to notice that there's not really anything in the way of substance like a well-thought-out plot and characters that you care about.

September 19, 2012 Full Review

Jeff Beck

Examiner.com

It's fun for a Saturday afternoon viewing, but it will ultimately go down in the annals of movie history as yet another forgettable adaptation.

March 19, 2012 Full Review

Kevin Carr

7M Pictures

Never has failure looked this good!

March 3, 2012 Full Review

Jules Brenner

Cinema Signals

If you want over-the-top entertainment that doesn't respect the laws of physics, you can't do much better than this.

January 4, 2012 Full Review | Comment (1)

Ignatiy Vishnevetsky

Ebert Presents At The Movies

You might mistake the sound of swashbuckling for what it really is: Alexandre Dumas spinning in his grave. Much closer to 'Pirates of the Caribbean' lite than it is to 'The Three Musketeers,' this makes a mess of the classic Dumas tale.

December 22, 2011 Full Review | Comment (1)

Linda Cook

KWQC-TV (Iowa)

Ugh. Nothing makes sense, it's not funny and the 3D is worthless.

November 14, 2011 Full Review

Jeff Bayer

The Scorecard Review

Anderson has crafted a beautiful and rambunctious film that is in many ways a lot more fun than the last few Disney "Pirates of the Caribbean" films.

November 8, 2011 Full Review | Comments (4)

Bruce Bennett

Spectrum (St. George, Utah)

The actors should have remained dry-docked instead of shipping out on this big, bloated Three Muske-mess.

November 3, 2011 Full Review

Neil Pond

American Profile

A frequent choice for transposing fiction into film, The Three Musketeers returns as an action-filled, slight diversion.

November 2, 2011 Full Review

John Wirt

Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA)

So dumb and goofy and ridiculous that it's actually kind of hard not to like on those terms.

November 1, 2011 Full Review

Ken Hanke

Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)

So hammy and campy that Alexander Dumas would scarcely recognize this latest incarnation of his swashbuckling tale.

October 28, 2011 Full Review | Comment (1)

Susan Granger

SSG Syndicate

Have we retained nothing of the lessons of Hudson Hawk? Like that early Nineties comical disaster, The Three Musketeers hinges on the secret machinations of Leonardo da Vinci.

October 28, 2011 Full Review | Comment (1)

Kimberley Jones

Austin Chronicle

Gaudy and vulgar ...

October 27, 2011 Full Review

Jim Lane

Sacramento News & Review

Alexandre Dumas isn't merely turning in his grave, he's half way through re-enacting 'Thriller'.

October 26, 2011 Full Review

Anders Wotzke

Moviedex

Logan Lerman's adolescent D'Artagnan has a haircut that makes him look like Ally Sheedy, Christoph Waltz imitates a lisping John Malkovich as Cardinal Richelieu, and Milla Jovovitch turns Milady de Winter into an insipid ninja.

October 25, 2011 Full Review

Peter Keough

Boston Phoenix

Swashbuckler for tweens has tons of action but no heart.

October 25, 2011 Full Review | Comment (1)

Sandie Angulo Chen

Common Sense Media

The same old story but with some new twists, a substantial cast, and some energetic special effects.

October 25, 2011 Full Review

Jackie K. Cooper

jackiekcooper.com

The movie suffers from the malady that all remakes have - if you change it too much it becomes unrecognizable and you upset people like me who want the same thing only modernized, if you keep it the same it becomes unoriginal and a pointless exercise.

October 24, 2011 Full Review

Michelle Alexandria

Eclipse Magazine

• 1. Cardinal Richelieu: The wonderful thing about fighting an imaginary opponent, Captain Rochefort, is that he is always greatly skilled yet easily defeated.
  – Submitted by Typhon Q (3 months ago)
• 1. Porthos: Do you know who I am?
  2. D'Artagnan: Do you know who I am?
  3. Porthos: No.
  4. D'Artagnan: Then we're even.
  – Submitted by Frances H (6 months ago)
• 1. Cardinal Richelieu: An airship.
  2. Louis: How come I don't have one of those!?
  – Submitted by James W (8 months ago)
• 1. Constance: Are you always this cocky?
  2. D'Artagnan: Only on Tuesdays. And when beautiful women are involved.
  3. Constance: So... You think I'm beautiful?
  4. D'Artagnan: Actually it's Tuesday.
  – Submitted by Nandu J (15 months ago)
• 1. Rochefort: But history isn't written by heroes. It's written by victors.
  – Submitted by Nandu J (15 months ago)
• 1. Porthos: We live in a kingdom controlled by fear.
  – Submitted by Chris P (20 months ago)