Rote, crass and worst of all, totally laugh-free, it inspires you to exact your own brand of vigilante justice.
| Original Score: D-
Light entertainment at its lightest, The Watch does at least elicit some laughs.
| Original Score: 2/5
For a flabby 101-minute movie, the gag hit rate is alarmingly low.
The Watch is a lazy production at nearly every level. Expect these aliens to have better luck in a couple years - when they invade basic cable.
The only arcs these characters encounter are in their pants.
The Watch is an utterly soulless, lazy, painfully dull affair. It is not a film. It is a product, and an awful one. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.
| Original Score: 0/10
A talented cast shines brightly, but can't carry the weight of this under-inspired sci-fi frolic.
All the bromancing back-slapping can't hide the quartet's crippling lack of screen chemistry, while frights, and laughs, are non-existent.
| Original Score: 1/5
"The Watch" is so focused on making vulgar comments and developing in-depth vulgar conversations and situations that nothing else really feels like it was developed properly; the entire experience is equivalent to excruciating torture.
| Original Score: 3/10
The first half of this movie might make you laugh but it's very sloppy. I saw this a few months ago when it was a much better film called Attack the Block.
| Original Score: 2.5/5
There's nothing particularly offensive about the piece. But its intergalactic badness does take the breath away.
A film packaged as pure product, aiming to snare the combined markets for loudmouth comics, sci-fi action and, er, Richard Ayoade - who, however seemingly misplaced, is the freshest thing here.
It's amazing how much thought, effort and creative energy "The Watch" works into its script about human---and space-alien---crotches.
| Original Score: 1.5/5
Cover Your Eyes
Off-the-production-line comedy, marketed as a sci-fi fan-boy's lighter bit of fluffy entertainment. And the aliens - seen them, zapped them all before.
You can see what all concerned were going for here, and you can lament where they came up short (Full Content Review for Parents also available)
Piles on the shrill vulgarity but sticks with its toothless emotional lessons, leaving it with the worst of both worlds.
If the scenes between the four leads had been stronger, it might have been easier to overlook the film's structural and tonal weaknesses, but as it happens they only rescue it in dribs and drabs.
The fusion of high concept and lowbrow humor is initially amusing, but becomes unwieldy as the movie shifts into action mode and the explosions threaten to overwhelm the laugh lines.
| Original Score: C
This little-green-men mash-up shows that in space, no one can hear you laugh.