It would rather be a blockbuster than a mind-bender. It turns out to be neither.
| Original Score: C
Messing with memories is how you forget that a better version of Total Recall happened 22 years ago.
| Original Score: 2.5/5
Total Recall is nothing more than a lazy, dull, soulless studio effort wrapped up in an enticing sci-fi landscape.
| Original Score: 2.5/10
What we end up with is a forgettable, monotonous reimagining that was wholly unnecessary.
| Original Score: 2/4
Recall the original.
| Original Score: 4/10
If this really is the dream Douglas Quaid paid for, he should ask for his money back.
| Original Score: 4.5/10
It's like shoving streamers and sparklers in a huge pile of crap and trying to pass it off as a party; no matter what you do to it it's still crap.
| Original Score: 2/10
Where Paul Verhoeven's original was testosterone-stupid and, therefore, fun, Wiseman's film is just boring-stupid.
Len Wiseman's Total Recall's a trifling mess, as superfluous as a third breast.
| Original Score: 1.5/4
Beckinsale is laughable as the kick ass vengeful wife with clipped Brit accent, high-heeled boots and flouncy hair. Not since War Horse has a mane of hair swished as much on screen.
Provides nothing but unhappy memories
| Original Score: 0.5/5
With the closing credits, memory erasure is guaranteed.
| Original Score: 2/5
The weight of Recall's mystery is suffocated in a series of fist fights, hovercar pile-ups, and foot chases pulled straight out of the latest platformer video game.
Slicked-up and dumbed-down
It's funny it's a movie about old memories, because Wiseman's remake plays like a film half-remembered.
Glum, heavily borrowed from other films, with murkily shot action sequences, it has none of the nutty brio of the original.
There's plenty of bright, shiny stuff to look at and impressive punches and kicks, but the movie never gets fun.
"Bryan Cranston's hair," is the answer to many a question, now, chief among them, "What is the only good reason to see Total Recall?"
It's difficult to review this film without comparing it to the 1990 original because it highlights what specifically is so wrong with this version.