ROTTEN TOMATOES: Total Recall: Sexy Vampires Comments

Total Recall: Sexy Vampires

by Tim Ryan and Jen Yamato | November 19, 2008

Summary

This week, the hotly-anticipated Twilight hits theaters. The film, starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in the tale of young vampires in love, got us thinking: blood suckers are sexy. Thus, we thought we'd present a rundown of some of the hottest vampires in big-screen history! Back to Article

(1-39 of 39 posts) | Reply

RT-Ryan writes:
on Nov 19 2008 06:23 PM

It's too bad you couldn't include the actual Monica Bellucci clip. Mmmmm.... I guess we could have run into some complaints if we had, though.

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Rash Hunt writes:
on Nov 19 2008 06:44 PM

Let the right one in!

Mmmmm.

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jokerboy1991 writes:
on Nov 19 2008 07:06 PM

LOL, is anyone watching South Park right now?!?! Its awesome, there making funny of TWILIGHT! Its so ****ing funny, there trying to get Butters!

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ZiGyStRdUsT writes:
on Nov 19 2008 07:37 PM

South Park has once again explained one of the most important ills plaguing our country today: Vampire douches.

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collex writes:
on Nov 19 2008 07:47 PM

I didn't like Bram Sotker's Dracula. Really too slow, and when I was comparing it to what I remembered fro the novel, it didn't really make sense.

I agree Monica Belluci is hot tough.

But I must say that the most sexiest vampire I've ever seen is Vampire Willow from Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.

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jokerboy1991 writes:
on Nov 19 2008 08:05 PM

In reply to this comment (#2138151)
I liked Francis Fords version. Yes it was flawed especially with Neo's performance, but it had greatness to it I thought. Oldman kicked *** as Count,Anthony Hopkins was a cool Vanhelsing, the movie was great visually, and had super hot vamps instead of stupid ones like in Vanhelsing.

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nblarson writes:
on Nov 19 2008 08:32 PM

The South Park episode was priceless...

*looks forward to goths burning down Hot Topics the world over*

"The Hunger," while a bit vacuous, was, simply put, hot. Catherine Deneuve and a young Susan Sarandon having a sexy party? Count me in.

Monica Belluci could play a decaying zombie and she'd still be smoking.

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blattman writes:
on Nov 19 2008 09:11 PM

In reply to this comment (#2137941)
It is only 9:10 in this part of the world. I am trying to stay awake long enough to watch it. Especially since this is the season ending.

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rachel_renegade writes:
on Nov 19 2008 09:34 PM

In reply to this comment (#2137941)
OMFG. i loved the new episode. I texted a friend (male Twilight fan) and i told him and he said "thats not funny. People can like a book Rachel. just like you are allowed to dislike it. I dont want to hear it, im trying to stop being so negative." which made the episode 10,000x more funny.

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tomwaitsjr writes:
on Nov 19 2008 09:48 PM

South Park is WIN!

I can't believe Innocent Blood only got 42%. That was a great movie. . .

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Jen Yamato writes:
on Nov 19 2008 10:30 PM

Hot Topic burned down and the vampire kids went back to normal! Oh, South Park...

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Bulletproof_Animal writes:
on Nov 20 2008 12:03 AM

Can you believe Angelina Jolie has never played a vampire? That's, like, the one thing she was born to do. Her and Kat Dennings. Together. Doing stuff.

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fullmetalnek writes:
on Nov 20 2008 05:32 AM

Glad to see Soledad Miranda on the list. She is one of the most beautiful women in the history of cinema.

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Confounded writes:
on Nov 20 2008 05:36 AM

Lauren Hutton in Once Bitten? Maybe I'm just showing my weakness for 80s women.

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Confounded writes:
on Nov 20 2008 05:41 AM

Or Geena Davis in Transylvania 6-5000. There I go again.

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crystalwhiteeyes writes:
on Nov 20 2008 06:10 AM

"Let The Right One In" looks FAR more enticing than this Twilight crap. Appears to be the true gothic love story that it needs to be.

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Confounded writes:
on Nov 20 2008 06:15 AM

In reply to this comment (#2138735)
True, but I don't think we're quite ready to place 12-year olds into the "sexy vampire" category.

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Hamboner writes:
on Nov 20 2008 06:41 AM

-Keanu Reeve's British accent was priceless. Did anyone notice that they completely omitted him from the trailer?

-Monica Bellucci was at one point my ideal woman. But then I saw her in Shoot 'Em Up and something, I don't know, broke, about her appeal to me.

-The final fight between Dracula and the hunters was short, but genuinely awesome action for the time.

-Watching Winona Ryder getting hot and bothered by green mist is to this day one of the most sexually arousing things I have ever seen. I think I was so young when I saw it that it really stuck with my. I should tell my therapist. Hah.

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'Stache-Attack writes:
on Nov 20 2008 06:59 AM

Confounded, you're dead right. The second I went to this article, those were the two names I was looking to see if they forgot (Hutton, Davis). I watched those both religiously in the '80s, and to this day, still get the Transylvania song stuck in my head at inappropriate times.

I while I was hoping to not mention any guy-vamps you forgot, I liked how Gerald Butler's Dracula had a certain sexiness about him in Dracula 2000. Although that could just be some sort of sexy interference that I was feeling from Jennifer Exposito, Jerry Ryan & Vitamin C. Yeah, for the sake of me not disturbing myself, lets just include the women.

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EIKOH writes:
on Nov 20 2008 08:02 AM

BSD was visually appealing, but it ran away from the storyline of the book in certain places making my dislike it.

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jokerboy1991 writes:
on Nov 20 2008 08:02 AM

In reply to this comment (#2138768)
LOL, yeah those scenes stuck with me too with Winona

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AnthonyDidge writes:
on Nov 20 2008 09:23 AM

In reply to this comment (#2138151)
But we all know Buffy would've taken care of all of these vampires. If only she'd take care of this Twilight crap too.

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Dark Knight jr. writes:
on Nov 20 2008 01:26 PM

Kate Beckinsale - all the way at the back?? ThaT'S HANUS. She's the best. Ah, well..

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Matanuki writes:
on Nov 20 2008 03:02 PM

In reply to this comment (#2138783)
I reckon blaming Exposito is a safe bet. By the way, while Beckinsale will definitely be missed in the next Underworld film, Rhona Mitra will be a welcome addition.

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Matanuki writes:
on Nov 20 2008 03:03 PM

In reply to this comment (#2138984)
The less said about Buffy, the better. ;-)

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Dark Knight jr. writes:
on Nov 20 2008 04:02 PM

In reply to this comment (#2139770)
I agree. Pity not many others can agree wit' that notion. Did they say who will be playin' Amelia?

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Matanuki writes:
on Nov 20 2008 04:24 PM

In reply to this comment (#2139862)
Amelia? Beats me. I looked up the cast for 3 and it didn't say.

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martinscorsese25 writes:
on Nov 20 2008 04:35 PM

In reply to this comment (#2138854)
if johnny depp and winona ryder ended up together, and if winona never did drugs, they'll be like angelina and brad couple! paparazis would surround them all the time..

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LillyVon writes:
on Nov 20 2008 05:22 PM

In reply to this comment (#2137725)
Ah yes Ryan - but it would have been worth it!

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AnthonyDidge writes:
on Nov 20 2008 08:11 PM

In reply to this comment (#2139772)
I'm sorry, it's a natural reaction for me. Vampire=Hot chick slaying said vampire. I'm a dork, and I'm ok with that.

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crystalwhiteeyes writes:
on Nov 21 2008 06:29 AM

In reply to this comment (#2138745)
I'm not placing the word "sexy" when it comes to vampires. That is the dumbest thing ever said. I'm just saying Let the Right One In looks far better than this twicrap flick.

I'm sure the guy who came up with Vampires as a mythical creature, he was going for sexy. "Say, what can I come up with that's sexy?" "Uhhh...How about Vampires." "What does a Vampire do?" "Well it bites your neck and sucks your blood!" "Oh, that's sexy!!" I'm sure all of these preverted chicks wouldn't mind a bear ripping through there neck and drinking there blood, or how about a lion. I mean, it's sexy right?? Maybe a snake? Not much difference.

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willpower writes:
on Nov 21 2008 06:55 AM

In reply to this comment (#2138151)
Brom Sotker's Dracula is one of the best novel adaptations ever. Read it again and watch the movie again. Beleive it.

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Scott51171 writes:
on Nov 21 2008 12:40 PM

Ditto Hamboner, I agree with you entirely about Keanu, Monica and Winona. I really wish I had'nt seen "Shoot 'Em Up" for that reason.

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frozen01 writes:
on Nov 21 2008 02:39 PM

In reply to this comment (#2141194)
There is no "the guy"... the vampire mythos spans cultures, continents, and centuries. It's been constantly reinvented to the point where the average person believes that things like an aversion to the sun and indestructibility are original when they're actually pretty recent additions.
Also, there are very, very few chapters in the vampire mythos, especially modern versions, that show them ripping the throats out of their victims like a bear or lion might (what a waste of blood!) instead of just drinking through two neat little holes in the neck, and most stories depict the actual act of having your blood drunk as similar to an orgasm.
In other words, it's sexy :) And apparently to both men and women.
BTW, if you were really being sarcastic about the connection between snakes and sexuality, then there's no help for you *LOL*

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collex writes:
on Nov 22 2008 07:01 PM

In reply to this comment (#2139772)
What do you have against Buffy? I find it is a really fun show. Best humor and teen drama I've seen on TV. Buffy is not the hottest girl on the planet, but Willow (Alysson Hannigan) is smoking hot for this age!

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collex writes:
on Nov 22 2008 07:06 PM

By the Way, Monica Belluci is one the sexiest woman I ever saw on screen. I don,t know who said he disliked her after Shoo'em Up. I happen to like this movie. Mindless yes, but mindless FUN. Monica Belluci is still sexy as hell in that movie

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Malo writes:
on Nov 25 2008 06:37 AM

Is it just me or is 59% for Interview with the Vampire unfair? That movie is a timeless classic. Immortal as the vampires themselves. I thought Brad Pitt was cheesy though. Antonio was amazing! Some critics unfortunately don't know a good movie even if it hit them in the face. And where is Gary Oldman???!! He made Dracula! And he is the sexiest vampire of ALL! Twillight may be for douchebags...true but at least the main character edward makes a very sexy vampire.

Who made this list?? A walking penis?? And picked tom cruise and brad pitt as the obvious women choice?

tsk tsk tsk

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Malo writes:
on Nov 25 2008 06:54 AM

I apologize for the walking penis remark. I just find this list very male driven, and Jason P: a great vampire but not sexy. The list of movies is good though like Vampyros Lesbos, The Hunger...etc.

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Ligeia writes:
on Nov 28 2008 04:02 AM

In reply to this comment (#2138745)
Except if she has been 12 for a long time ;-)

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