Universal Soldier: The Return Reviews

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Top Critic
Ron Givens
New York Daily News
July 27, 2014
You, dear moviegoer, must not buy a ticket to this badly programed sequel. You must save the world from Universal Soldier III: How Bad Can It Get?
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Jason Caro
Radio Times
July 27, 2014
Watching a bunch of dull characters hurtling through a plate glass window about 50 times is neither inventive nor exhilarating, proving perhaps that ex-stunt co-ordinators shouldn't be allowed a stab at feature film directing.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5

Total Film
July 27, 2014
This is cynical, manipulative, idiotic film-making. It's hard to express how bad this film is.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Top Critic
Barbara Shulgasser
Chicago Tribune
June 7, 2013
If Universal Soldier: The Return isn't the dullest, most derivative, unimaginative, noisy, repetitive, mind-numbing and generally imbecilic movie of the year, it's not because director Mic Rodgers wasn't trying hard enough.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4

Empire Magazine
June 7, 2013
Whereas Emmerich's original had enough personality and energy to provide solid (if stupid) entertainment, Rodgers seems content to merely cobble together a succession of blatantly lifted-and poorly executed-set-pieces
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Top Critic
Keith Phipps
AV Club
June 7, 2013
For the record, this is the fourth Universal Soldier movie if you count two cable sequels, but why would you?
Top Critic
Owen Gleiberman
Entertainment Weekly
September 7, 2011
It's actually the fourth entry in the series, after a couple of straight-to-cable sequels. That's a lot of pulp to squeeze out of a concept that was fairly juiceless to begin with.
Full Review | Original Score: D+
Top Critic
Joe Leydon
Variety
June 17, 2008
An underwhelming follow-up to one of the career-stalled action star's better efforts.
David Keyes
Cinemaphile.org
March 10, 2007
Please, even if it means offsetting a planned schedule, do not see this movie. It could be the biggest mistake of your life. I should know: I made it.
Top Critic
Lisa Alspector
Chicago Reader
March 6, 2007
This SF action sequel must have been slapped together fast: live-action stunts created by uninspired editing lead up to computer-generated imagery that's just as lame.
Top Critic
Tom Huddleston
Time Out
June 24, 2006
Filling out and greying at the temples, Van Damme is far from convincing, even in the tedious fight sequences.
Top Critic
Liam Lacey
Globe and Mail
April 25, 2003
Van Damme's acting skills remains undetectable.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Rob Vaux
Flipside Movie Emporium
January 9, 2003
Close your eyes and repeat after me: pro wrestlers must never ever EVER try to act.
| Original Score: 0/5
Tom Meek
Film Threat
December 8, 2002
Hopefully this is the last we have seen of the Unisol series, but unfortunately the dearth of creativity in Hollywood, will allow it to live for another abysmal dumbing.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Jamie Graham
Sight and Sound
March 5, 2002
A disappointing entry to the sci-fi / action-movie canon.
Kamal 'The Diva' Larsuel
3BlackChicks Review
February 14, 2001
I would suggest that you use this film solely as a form of torture.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Ken Fox
TV Guide's Movie Guide
January 1, 2000
Plenty of bone-crunching brawn, but not a brain cell in sight.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Top Critic
John Hartl
Seattle Times
January 1, 2000
The Return has the cramped, shoddy look of a straight-to-video knock-off.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Top Critic
Tom Maurstad
Dallas Morning News
January 1, 2000
Judging from uniformly bottom-rung acting, the cast had some sort of pool going to see who could turn in the most ludicrously awful performance.
Top Critic
Lawrence Van Gelder
New York Times
January 1, 2000
If the world is ever to be truly safe from Universal Soldiers, they, like Achilles, can suffer a mortal wound in only one place. For them, it's the box office.
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