Valentine Reviews

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Tim Brayton
Antagony & Ecstasy
February 15, 2012
A singularly direct and unchallenging example of the latter-day slasher film, made to a template that was starting to show its age every bit of 20 years before the movie premiered.
Full Review | Original Score: 4/10
Ellen MacKay
Common Sense Media
January 1, 2011
Poorly made and just stupid.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Felix Vasquez Jr.
Cinema Crazed
April 29, 2009
A bland whodunit slasher film starring a bunch of nineties relics...
Rob Gonsalves
eFilmCritic.com
July 25, 2007
Yet another one of those films that Scream was supposed to have buried but instead resurrected.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Top Critic
Lisa Alspector
Chicago Reader
February 28, 2007
The contradictory sexual politics in this lightweight slasher suggest that at some point it was meant to satirize the traditional mores of the self-satisfied female characters.
Eric Lurio
Greenwich Village Gazette
November 7, 2003
It doesn't have those scare-the-sh*t out of you moments, and if it doesn't have any of those, what's the point?
| Original Score: 1/5
David Nusair
Reel Film Reviews
August 1, 2003
Scary horror flicks went out with the emergence of the self-referential horror movie.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Top Critic
Liam Lacey
Globe and Mail
April 25, 2003
In the new teen slasher flick Valentine, a public-school nerd, now grown up, seeks to systematically murder all the girls who wouldn't dance with him at the Grade 6 Valentine's dance. Or maybe that's not what happens. It ís hard to tell.
Full Review | Original Score: 0/4
Jo Berry
Empire Magazine
April 21, 2003
The essential daftness isn't helped by the stars, who play it straight when they should have gone for laughs.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Brad Laidman
Film Threat
December 8, 2002
Porno actresses are smarter than this crew!
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5
Jean Lowerison
San Diego Metropolitan
October 21, 2002
I'm not a big fan of horror films, but as they go this isn't a bad one.
Top Critic

Atlanta Journal-Constitution
June 19, 2002
A cheesy horror flick that doesn't take itself too seriously.
Annlee Ellingson
Boxoffice Magazine
June 5, 2002
The horror-thriller Valentine makes mistakes where its successful predecessors like Scream didn't, essentially revealing its antagonist in its casting.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Chuck Rudolph
Matinee Magazine
February 14, 2002
As run-of-the-mill slasher movies go, one of the best to hit screens since the post-Scream boom.
Full Review | Original Score: short
Ted Murphy
Murphy's Movie Reviews
December 21, 2001
Hopefully audiences will come to their senses and mark this one "return to sender."
Full Review | Original Score: D
Michael Dequina
TheMovieReport.com
October 11, 2001
Just when the slasher genre had mercifully been left for dead, along comes this abysmally wasteful exercise to drain it of whatever life it has left.
Full Review | Original Score: 0/4
Andrew Manning
Radio Free Entertainment
September 30, 2001
A WB teen melodrama with the lamest villain since the Gorton's Fisherman in I Know What You Did Last Summer.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/10
July 9, 2001
It all ends with a mystery over the new identity of the killer, which is so hard to figure out that you'd have to be at least six years old.
| Original Score: 1/4
Urban Cinefile Critics
Urban Cinefile
May 11, 2001
This Valentine's date is mostly a bummer. The cast do not have much of a chance to distinguish themselves.
Michael Atkinson
Movieline
April 16, 2001
If you're going to make R-rated pulp, at least make it pulpy.
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