If you've hidden from the scary killer, don't leave your hiding place after less than a minute! Why do they do that?
| Original Score: 2/5
Halfway through this movie, you'll beg cupid to shoot you.
| Original Score: 1/5
...a formula stirring in upscale sex, murder, holiday mutilation and lots of junior high school revenge fantasy.
| Original Score: 5/10
A modern-day slasher pic that is a step above most in the genre.
| Original Score: 3/4
... Valentine insults its audience with plot mechanics that are utterly unconvincing and an ending that is silly and confusing.
Yet another uninspiring slasher movie.
| Original Score: 54/100
I had fun anyway.
What is actually scariest about Valentine is the film's tacit attitude that these girls had it coming.
Relentless in its pursuit of suspenseless mediocrity, Valentine succeeds only in boring you to death, the most horrifying fate of all.
| Original Score: 0/5
Valentine isn't scary, but it is unsettling; not ultimately satisfying, but arresting in the moment.
| Original Score: 2/4
[An] awful movie.
One of the most inane entries in a genre already piled sky-high with inane entries.
| Original Score: 1/4
Looking good but lacking much in the way of personality or gray matter.
Succeeds on its own modest terms, and the plot doesn't fall apart under credit-roll pondering.
Yet another unimaginative retreading of any standard slasher film.
The eeriest moment was easily the movie's last, after the nonsensically contrived climax provided a classic interactive moment. 'Sequel!' the audience moaned.
When it's hard to hear the dialogue because the audience is laughing, it's clear that Valentine doesn't even succeed on its own limited terms.
| Original Score: 0.5/5
A smart, stylish horror picture that offers a fresh twist on the ever-reliable revenge theme and affords a raft of talented young actors solid roles that show them to advantage.
| Original Score: 4/5
Not only is it deadly dull, but the killer actually courts the audience's sympathy.
| Original Score: 1.5/4
A slow-moving, predictable movie.