Critics Consensus: Valentine's Day Gets Massacred

Plus, Percy Jackson is often fun, and The Wolfman looks mangy.

This week at the movies, we've got modern love (Valentine's Day , starring Jennifer Garner and Ashton Kutcher); a teenage demigod (Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, starring Logan Lerman and Uma Thurman); and some hair-raising horror (The Wolfman, starring Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins). What do the critics have to say?
18%
Template Image
Rotten

Valentine's Day

Looking for a tasty cinematic bon-bon for Valentine's Day? One that explores modern romance and features a staggering array of stars? Well, tough luck: critics say Valentine's Day may have an army of familiar faces, but they're left stranded in an episodic, unfunny, clichéd mess of a romantic comedy. Directed by Garry Marshall, it's a series of interconnected vignettes about Los Angeles residents finding and losing love. Valentine's Day has a role for virtually everyone in Hollywood, from Julia Roberts to Jamie Foxx to the Taylors; what it lacks is a decent script that gives them much of anything to do -- funny, insightful, heartfelt, or otherwise.


49%
Template Image
Rotten

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief is unabashedly attempting to become a teen fantasy franchise along the lines of Harry Potter. And critics say that although this opening installment is a few notches below its Hogwarts rival, it's a largely diverting, occasionally electrifying family adventure. Logan Lerman stars as the title character, a troubled high schooler who discovers his dad is Poseidon; soon, he's making a cross-country trek in an attempt to intervene in a potential war among the gods. The pundits say Percy isn't the most original flick in the world, but the cast is strong, and the result is an often inspired action romp.


34%
Template Image
Rotten

The Wolfman

The Wolfman is one of horror cinema's most iconic -- and tortured -- anti-heroes. Unfortunately, The Wolfman is a mostly tepid update of the famed lycanthrope, one that doesn't hold a candle to the Lon Chaney Jr. chillers of old. Benicio Del Toro stars as Lawrence Talbot, a troubled blue-blood who returns to his family's estate after his brother's disappearance -- and soon finds he has been afflicted by a horrible curse, one that manifests itself during a full moon. The pundits say The Wolfman has a nice sense of atmosphere, but it's lacking scares and an emotional pull. (Check out this week's Total Recall, in which we count down star Anthony Hopkins' best-reviewed films, as well as our Universal Monsters Starting Lineup, a compendium of your favorite horror heroes.)


Also opening this week in limited release:

Comments

inactive user

Jared King

"Valentine's Day gets massacred".

I like the sound of that. Movie looks like crap. How do you know it's gonna be bad? It has Jessica Biel AND Jessica Alba! Ouch! That's bad. For that matter, Patrick Dempsey, Ashton Kutcher Anne Hathaway, and non-actor Taylor Swift are all pretty much sure signs of a bad movie. I hope it fails, crawls away, and gets comfortable in the 5 dollar DVD bin it's going to. "Wolfman" looks mediocre, saw story for "Harry Pot"- I mean "Percy Jackson".


So screw these movies, I'm pissed, and waiting for the good movies.

Feb 11 - 05:31 PM

Taylor A.

Taylor Agnew

Shutter Island comes out next week!

Feb 11 - 05:41 PM

Dictioninrepose555

Jon Bosley

Jessica Biel and Anne Hathaway have proven their acting merits in a few films, namely the Illusionist and Rachel Getting Married, but god, the awful films they've starred in over the years. If we ever want to unlock the other 90% of our brains that we don't use all one needs to do is subject themselves to Bride Wars and the 10% we do use will go into hiding. The other 90% will adjust itself accordingly, we can use our minds to melt the screen we're watching that travesty on and all will be fine and dandy.

Feb 11 - 05:43 PM

Chris L.

Chris Lawson

Jon B., I have often heard that we only use 10% of our brains, but I have also read that we actually do use 100% of our brains; it's just that we only use 10% at a time. Either way, you have a valid point. Imagine if we could use 100% at a time.

Feb 12 - 04:51 PM

Dictioninrepose555

Jon Bosley

I wish I could see Shutter Island twice this weekend as opposed to any of the films being released even once.

Feb 11 - 05:44 PM

Elliot W.

Elliot Williams

I don't like the look of those films, Wolfman looks like a basic story, Valentines Day looks just awful, and joy of joys another film which will get teen fans Percy Jackson and the Lightening theif.

Feb 11 - 05:50 PM

Chris B.

Chris Bellew

I might chance it and go see The Wolfman at my local cheap theater.

Feb 11 - 06:07 PM

The.Watcher

The Watcher

One big week of fail.
Wolfman looks like a howling mediocrity
V.D looks sick, and not in a good day
Percy Jackson is just....there. I have absolutely nothing to say about it.

The docs look very good though, maybe I'll check THEM out till Shutter Island opens next week (yes!!).

Feb 11 - 06:15 PM

Alexson Philip

Alexson Philipiah

wrd ai, i knew percy jackson wuld flop in reviews, as it just looked so fukin stupid, like harry potter looked weird to at first but the movie was a very awesome film for all ages. wolfman is dissapointing as i actaully thought wolfman would be sik, but looks like its just blood and gore...hmm...joe johnston directed it, isnt he making captain america....they should change the director.

Feb 11 - 07:06 PM

Chris L.

Chris Lawson

De A Twist, at 49%, Percy Jackson did not really flop in reviews; it's basically 50/50.

Feb 12 - 04:44 PM

Alexson Philip

Alexson Philipiah

chris L. well ye but styll. flop in my mind. and to all you harry potter haters. *** U. If harry potter sux then why is it the highest grossing and critically received series. (78%,82%,89%,88%,77%,83%)

Feb 12 - 05:15 PM

ScytheofAzrael

Omar Siddiqui

^ Lol. Profound argument.

Anywho, I'm saving my interest for Shutter Island. Keeping my fingers crossed. Is anyone worried Laeta Kalogridis might screw the script up a bit? I know Monahan has written some meh films, but Scorsese worked with him and the result was The Departed...I hope Scorsese will be able to do this too.

Is the book any good?

Feb 11 - 07:26 PM

King Crunk

King Crunk

@ScytheofAzrael

The book is freaking amazing!!!! Do not read any of the reviews posted for Shutter Island people, they give away major, MAJOR spoilers, and there are only three posted so far. Watch the T-meter from a distance on the homepage or something, but the last review posted pretty much spoils the entire movie with about four words!! Cannot wait for the movie, the source material was great, Scorcese is the man, and while I could not picture DiCaprio as Teddy Daniels(the main character) at first, from what I've seen in the trailer, he knocked the performance out of the park and has completely changed my mind about his casting.

Sucks for The Wolfman, I was wanting it to be badass. Oh well, I can wait ten years until they try to relaunch it(probably less than that they way things go nowadays).

Feb 11 - 07:47 PM

KJ Cassidy

kurt cassidy

Completely agree.
Dont read critics full reviews, or even the small ones. You want to be pure on the story line, when you watch it.

Feb 12 - 07:14 AM

Matt W.

Matt Williams

Marty never dissapoints anyone with his movies. no matter what genre it is.

Feb 12 - 04:00 PM

Evan Cole

Evan Cole

I'm gonna check out The Wolfman this weekend. I'm a little disappointed with the reviews, but I'll probably end up liking it somewhat. As for Valentine's Day - to be honest, I don't think it looks that bad. I'll probably rent that one when it comes out on Blu-ray. Percy Jackson and those documentaries, well...I have no interest in those whatsoever.

Feb 11 - 07:36 PM

King Crunk

King Crunk

@ScytheofAzrael

The book is freaking amazing!!!! Do not read any of the reviews posted for Shutter Island people, they give away major, MAJOR spoilers, and there are only three posted so far. Watch the T-meter from a distance on the homepage or something, but the last review posted pretty much spoils the entire movie with about four words!! Cannot wait for the movie, the source material was great, Scorcese is the man, and while I could not picture DiCaprio as Teddy Daniels(the main character) at first, from what I've seen in the trailer, he knocked the performance out of the park and has completely changed my mind about his casting.

Sucks for The Wolfman, I was wanting it to be badass. Oh well, I can wait ten years until they try to relaunch it(probably less than that they way things go nowadays).

Feb 11 - 07:47 PM

KJ Cassidy

kurt cassidy

Completely agree.
Dont read critics full reviews, or even the small ones. You want to be pure on the story line, when you watch it.

Feb 12 - 07:14 AM

Throw An Onion

Crornk Kaleidescope

Its a shame Universal screwed up The Wolfman. You'd think with such an iconic character they'd put a little more effort into it but I guess it isn't about quality anymore as much as it is about lining pockets with cash.

Speaking of cash lined pockets. Percy Jackson is a cheap film trying to draw in Potter fans and exploit the lack of kid friendly fantasy films lined up for release this Spring.

And spring leads to love and love leads too Valentine's Day. This movie looked absolutely abysmal from the first trailer. Any movie that has too many names to be listed on a poster is a fail in my book. So you realize people will see through your cliched plot? Why not throw in tons and tons of celebrities to distract them! Perfect!

Feb 11 - 07:48 PM

RamALamADingDong

That Guy

I always had high hopes for a Wolf Man remake. But my optimism has been in steady decline since the first preview, plus with all the news of production problems. I'm going to see it tomorrow anyways. Who knows, maybe lowered expectations will help my enjoyment of it.

Feb 11 - 07:57 PM

qgilfillan

Quinn Gilfillan

Me my brother and my friend had a bet on what percent V-Day would get. My bro said 30, friend said 22, i said 15... I won.

Feb 11 - 09:14 PM

fresh f.

fresh fresh

Jessica Biel has proven her acting merrits? Say What?? She was passable in The Illustionist---that is all. She hasn't been in anything half decent other than that.

Feb 11 - 09:18 PM

qgilfillan

Quinn Gilfillan

Um what about I'll be home for Christmas... jk

Feb 11 - 09:19 PM

Dadoo

Tim Ryan

I like the headline. I thought it might be a biopick about the former manager of the Mets.

Feb 12 - 04:10 AM

BUCK69

JIM GRONEFELD

Disappointed about The Wolfman. Sounds like a complete mess and a lesson on how not to make a movie. Does this present any implications for the upcoming Captain America [also directed by Joe Johnston]?

I had nothing but slight hope for Valentine's Day. How can you possibly have that many characters and make a coherent, entertaining movie? It's like a two-hour We Are The World. My slight hope was that it would at least be date worthy, but it apparently doesn't even rise to that level.

Thanks to the critics, for again saving me time and money. Job well-done!

Feb 12 - 05:33 AM

TheEndIsNigh16

TheEndIsNigh 16

I still plan on seeing wolfman regardless of the reviews, it still looks like it could be some fun. This week's movies are just a build up for the release of Shutter Island for me

Feb 12 - 06:06 AM

The Stunner

Tiago Paulo

no good movies again.

Feb 12 - 07:13 AM

What's Hot On RT

Box Office
Box Office

Planet Of The Apes Is No. 1

<em>Unbroken</em>
Unbroken

Trailer for Angelina Jolie's latest

<em>The Hunger Games</em>
The Hunger Games

New Mockingjay teaser trailer

<em>Jimi</em> Trailer
Jimi Trailer

Clips: Andre 3000 plays Hendrix!

Find us on:                     
Help | About | Jobs | Critics Submission | Press | API | Licensing | Mobile