Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)

Playing out much like a young adult fiction book (which it's based off of) it's very clear that the slight disjointed feeling of the plot is the entire studio's fault more than the script's. They are trying to make the next children's franchise with the adaptation of the book of the same name by Darren Shan. The story suffers from the fact that they won't tell us anything concrete or lasting. The characters shown aren't all too developed, mostly because of the bias against using characters that were freaks. They slap on some moral message about equality, friendship, and the choices we make versus who we are, and they believe they can simply define someone as a freak and don't need personalities, relationships, and the intricacies of someone we all want to watch. Yeah, some lackluster effects are good and all, but I would rather hear what Jane Krakowski has to say then see her arm grow back (which was surely the most illogical part of the film.) Using her as an example, I didn't get to know that character one iota. Besides the likable main characters and crass word choice none of this ran as a film with a true plot, but an extenuation of a series of films. It wasn't even a true kids movie, since there is unneeded swearing and some strange choices in violence, the definition of what adolescents say in private, and the romantic angle between Darren (Massoglia) and some nothing girl who is, you guessed it, also a freak. The effects were, for the most part, very low grade, and the mythology between vampires and the "Vampenese" first of all just sounds like veiled racism, and second made either no sense, or left me incredulous. The powers of the vampires have been improved or made new amongst the other hollow vampire related faire as of late, but it wasn't enough to keep it from being camp. Reilly is for sure the best aspect of this film, though he shouldn't fit along with the rest of the cast. Yes, his accent is hard to place or awkward throughout, but his crude weirdness works well with the personality of the character. Most of the stars are for the fact I somewhat enjoyed myself even with all these flaws because it was never meant to be perfection, but some strange sub strait. I just wonder if it will indeed lead to a series of films.