Opening

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Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant Reviews

Page 1 of 7
Roger Ebert
Chicago Sun-Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

It's ... a mess. The movie is shot through with curious disconnects. Often within a single sequence of events, we won't know where we are, or how they're related in space or time.

Full Review Source: Chicago Sun-Times | Original Score: 1.5/4

October 22, 2009
James Berardinelli
ReelViews
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Is it too much to ask that a narrative film have a beginning, a middle, and an end?

Full Review Source: ReelViews | Original Score: 2/5

October 22, 2009
Michael Phillips
At the Movies
Top Critic IconTop Critic

This is one of the worst films of the year.

Full Review Source: At the Movies

October 26, 2009
Andrew Schenker
Slant Magazine

It's hard to escape the feeling that this is one film that already has its eye on the next chapter.

Full Review Source: Slant Magazine | Original Score: 2/4

October 22, 2009
Simon Foster
sbs.com.au

The film was based on a series of twelve books (that) must've screamed "franchise pay cheques!" to actors like Dafoe, Hayek and Reilly, who would usually have known better.

Full Review Source: sbs.com.au

August 9, 2010
Leo Robson
Financial Times

Cirque du Freak is a lame comedy.

Full Review Source: Financial Times | Original Score: 2/5

October 23, 2009
Aaron Hillis
Village Voice
Top Critic IconTop Critic

The vampire trend continues, but the only authentic bloodsuckers in Cirque du Freak are its producers and studio execs.

Full Review Source: Village Voice

October 20, 2009
Adam Woodward
Little White Lies

This is a young person's film, make no mistake, but one which holds back on completely adhering to the fang frenzy youngsters have been going bat shit for recently, consequently sealing its own fate.

October 23, 2009
Toby Young
Times [UK]

The biggest shortcoming of Cirque du Freak is the absence of a proper, self-contained story. So convinced is Weitz that his film is going to spawn a dozen sequels that he spends most of his time setting up the characters and their relationships.

Full Review Source: Times [UK] | Original Score: 1/5

October 23, 2009
Paul Chambers
CNNRadio

What in the heck is going on here? Not scary, not funny. The story gets lost in the woods. Paul Chambers, CNN.

Full Review Source: CNNRadio | Original Score: D+

February 10, 2010
James Rocchi
Redbox

But there's a thin sheen of flop sweat on The Vampires Assistant, as if it's thinking its hoped-for sequels... it's like being on a first date and having the other party reach across the table ... and ask you if you want chicken or fish for the guests at

Full Review Source: Redbox | Original Score: 2/5

October 23, 2009
Kimberly Gadette
Indie Movies Online

The non-actors artlessly stumble through scenes that might best be described as lifeless. Meanwhile, the over-actors project far beyond the camera lens. Miles beyond. Say, Transylvania.

Full Review Source: Indie Movies Online | Original Score: 2/10

October 23, 2009
Kathleen Murphy
MSN Movies
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Unreeling like a feature-length trailer, 'Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant' suffers from premature sequelitis.

Full Review Source: MSN Movies | Original Score: 2/5

October 23, 2009
Kirk Honeycutt
Hollywood Reporter
Top Critic IconTop Critic

A vampire movie in sore need of a transfusion.

October 23, 2009
Dave Bradley
SFX Magazine

More of a curio than a serious contender for the next gothic craze.

Full Review Source: SFX Magazine | Original Score: 3/5

October 30, 2009
Edward Douglas
ComingSoon.net

It's fairly obvious Paul Weitz is trying to mimic the style of Tim Burton ... it's hard not to immediately fault the movie for failing to achieve the same impeccable blend of dark humor and wonder.

Full Review Source: ComingSoon.net | Original Score: 6/10

October 21, 2009
Avi Offer
NYC Movie Guru

Initially fun and imaginative, but it quickly turns into a thrill-less, uneven, lazy and painfully bland mess.

Full Review Source: NYC Movie Guru | Original Score: 3.75/10

October 24, 2009
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul)
St. Paul Pioneer Press

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is an unwieldy title, but it's perfect for a film that can't figure out what it's trying to do.

Full Review Source: St. Paul Pioneer Press | Original Score: 2/4

October 23, 2009
Matt Stevens
E! Online

Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant doesn't totally suck, though it's not very satisfying either.

Full Review Source: E! Online | Original Score: C-

October 23, 2009
Todd Gilchrist
Sci Fi Wire

...the first installment in a potential franchise that fails to offer reasons why mainstream audiences will want to follow it any further.

Full Review Source: Sci Fi Wire

October 23, 2009

Dark Horizons
April 5, 2011
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