Vampires Suck (2010)
Average Rating: 2.2/10
Reviews Counted: 83
Fresh: 3 | Rotten: 80
Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.
Average Rating: 2.1/10
Critic Reviews: 17
Fresh: 1 | Rotten: 16
Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.
liked it
Average Rating: 2.5/5
User Ratings: 74,167
Movie Info
The comedy masterminds behind Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Meet the Spartans drive a squeaky rubber stake through the heart of the Twilight series with this irreverent satire about a teenage girl who's torn between two supernatural suitors. As Becca struggles to contend with her overbearing father, two fierce rivals compete to win her heart. But Becca isn't the only high-school student having a hard time with boys; her friends are all desperate to find a date for the prom, and as the big
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Cast
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Matt Lanter
Edward -
Chris Riggi
Jacob -
Ken Jeong
Daro -
Jenn Proske
Becca, Bella
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Vampires Suck Trailer & Photos
All Critics (83) | Top Critics (17) | Fresh (3) | Rotten (80) | DVD (1)
It's almost as cynical as the actual Twilight, and not nearly as funny.
Top CriticAll but the most die-hard fans can agree that the Twilight movies are spoof-worthy. So it's too bad they don't get a worthy spoof.
A few broader references might have made this punishing one-note trawl through the eminently spoofable tween-vamp saga slightly more watchable.
This movie sucks more.
Below bottom-of-the-barrel.
Plenty of gags fall flat, but writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... have tapped the vein more effectively than their norm, with enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality.
I know comedy is subjective, so grant me that Vampires Suck just did not make me laugh. It probably doesn't help that, as a spoof on the Twilight franchise, it's making fun of movies I also don't enjoy.
An insult to other bad vampire movies, which is saying a mouthful.
There are few things worse than watching a comedy flatline for over an hour, tossing its "funny parts" into a vacuum of uncomfortable silence.
A banal mess that sacrifices anything resembling satire for a series of smutty jokes.
Only Friedberg and Seltzer could film this dross with the belief they are making even a half-decent comedy.
Casting two lookalikes and coaching your young actors to mimic the trio from 'Twilight' isn't enough to make for a great parody.
There was a time when, for a certain generation, the release of a new Naked Gun or Hot Shots movie would be cause for real excitement.
A movie that will have you pining to watch the real Twilight films. Yes, it's that bad.
A witless, puerile spoof of the Twilight movies.
Vampires Suck misses its targets in spectacular fashion thanks to the directors' usual approach of simply recreating scenes from the original movies without any real understanding of what to satirise or even how to go about it.
It's not quite as bad as Friedberg and Seltzer's usual output, but only in the way that measles is better than mumps.
So many accurate puns could be made about the title of this film that it hardly seems worth bothering.
They don't suck as much as lame-brain parodists Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.
It's almost fascinatingly awful, nailing the moony tedium of its target franchise with something close to suicidal exactitude.
The last time I heard a film audience in such a state of silence was during Ingmar Bergman's Winter Light.
The erratic, barely humorous dialogue here is even more ghastly than your average spoof, while Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer's direction is patchy, to say the least.
It's marginally sharper than the likes of Meet The Spartans -- yes, that good -- but essentially as tatty as a porn parody, without all the best bits.
Every time we see a new Friedberg/Seltzer film we hope maybe they've learned something and put their skills to more creative use. But no, instead we're once again astounded that anyone gives them money to make these unfunny rehashes.
Audience Reviews for Vampires Suck
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Super Reviewer
Movies Like Vampires Suck
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- Becca: I know what you are.
- Edward: I know what you are. Say it. Out loud. Say it.
- Becca: The Jonas Brothers!
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- Edward: Just the sound of your breathing is the greatest gift you can give me... [fart noise from bella causes Edward to franticly waft around his nose and fall backwards through the window]
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- Becca: A chihuaha, seriously?
- Jacob: Yeah, I'm new to this thing.
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- Jacob: Cat!
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- Becca: Um, do I smell?
- Edward: Yeah, like tunafish.
- Becca: [Holds up sandwhich] Lunch...
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- Jacob: Becca, will you go? [Becca revvs motorbike]
- Becca: Sorry, Jacob, I can't hear you.
- Jacob: Maybe if you stop revving the bike every time I try to ask, you'd hear me. Becca, will you go... [Truck drives past and honks horn loudly] Aw, come on!
Discussion Forum
| Topic | Last Post | Replies |
|---|---|---|
| SOMEONE KILL FRIEDBERG & SELTZER NOW! | 3 months ago | 1 |
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Latest News on Vampires Suck
August 20, 2010:
Critics Consensus: Vampires Suck BitesThis week at the movies, we've got a Twilight spoof (Vampires Suck, starring Jenn Proske and Matt...
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Foreign Titles
- Beilight - Biss zum Abendbrot (DE)
- Mords-moi sans hésitation (FR)
