Vampires Suck (2010)
TOMATOMETER
Critics Consensus: Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.
Critics Consensus: Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.
Trailer
Movie Info
"Vampires Suck" is a comedy about contemporary teen angst and romance movies. Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca's friends contend with their own romantic issues -- all of which collide at the prom.
- Rating:
- PG-13 (for crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying)
- Genre:
- Comedy
- Directed By:
- Jason Friedberg , Aaron Seltzer
- Written By:
- Jason Friedberg , Aaron Seltzer
- In Theaters:
- Aug 18, 2010 Wide
- On DVD:
- Nov 30, 2010
- US Box Office:
- $36.7M
- Runtime:
Cast
as Edward
as Jacob
as Daro
as Bella
as Frank Crane
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LoginCritic Reviews for Vampires Suck
All Critics (88) | Top Critics (18) | Fresh (4) | Rotten (84) | DVD (1)
It's been two whole years since the team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer subjected us to one of its godawful parodies. Alas, the vacation is over.
With the level of humor here running to flatulence jokes, groin kicks and high-school smart-aleck cracks, their movie does, indeed, (surely no other critic in the world will be this clever) SUCK!
A witless, slavish pastiche of the series of romantic dramas based on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight novels. It is a knowing film that knows nothing about comedy.
Vampires Suck, and films like it, not only fail to parody elements of contemporary society, they barely spoof the genre they are trying to mock.
For the most part, the jokes are mildly relevant at least
I know comedy is subjective, so grant me that Vampires Suck just did not make me laugh. It probably doesn't help that, as a spoof on the Twilight franchise, it's making fun of movies I also don't enjoy.
It's almost as cynical as the actual Twilight, and not nearly as funny.
All but the most die-hard fans can agree that the Twilight movies are spoof-worthy. So it's too bad they don't get a worthy spoof.
An insult to other bad vampire movies, which is saying a mouthful.
There are few things worse than watching a comedy flatline for over an hour, tossing its "funny parts" into a vacuum of uncomfortable silence.
A banal mess that sacrifices anything resembling satire for a series of smutty jokes.
Only Friedberg and Seltzer could film this dross with the belief they are making even a half-decent comedy.
Casting two lookalikes and coaching your young actors to mimic the trio from 'Twilight' isn't enough to make for a great parody.
There was a time when, for a certain generation, the release of a new Naked Gun or Hot Shots movie would be cause for real excitement.
A movie that will have you pining to watch the real Twilight films. Yes, it's that bad.
A witless, puerile spoof of the Twilight movies.
Vampires Suck misses its targets in spectacular fashion thanks to the directors' usual approach of simply recreating scenes from the original movies without any real understanding of what to satirise or even how to go about it.
It's not quite as bad as Friedberg and Seltzer's usual output, but only in the way that measles is better than mumps.
They don't suck as much as lame-brain parodists Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.
So many accurate puns could be made about the title of this film that it hardly seems worth bothering.
Audience Reviews for Vampires Suck
Super Reviewer
Possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life. There is no purpose to this film's existence. It is a parody of an already mediocre film. The fact that its source material is almost just as poor in quality made this film not funny but rather tiresome and depressing.
MoreSuper Reviewer
Not bad for a spoof movie. Actually it looks pretty good and though the story is obviously stupid, being a mash up of several Twilight movies, the actress who plays Becca actually has Kristen Stewart's mannerisms down pretty well!
MoreSuper Reviewer
It's sad, that the funniest and best movie from Friedberg/Seltzer, still is a bad picture. At least it's much more better that the last works of both and present a good performance by Jenn Proske.
MoreSuper Reviewer
Vampires Suck Quotes
- Becca:
- I know what you are.
- Edward:
- I know what you are. Say it. Out loud. Say it.
- Becca:
- The Jonas Brothers!
- Edward:
- Just the sound of your breathing is the greatest gift you can give me... [fart noise from bella causes Edward to franticly waft around his nose and fall backwards through the window]
- Becca:
- A chihuaha, seriously?
- Jacob:
- Yeah, I'm new to this thing.
- Jacob:
- Cat!
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