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Vampires Suck (2010)


Average Rating: 2.2/10
Reviews Counted: 88
Fresh: 4
Rotten: 84

Critics Consensus: Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.

Average Rating: 2.1/10
Reviews Counted: 18
Fresh: 1
Rotten: 17

Critics Consensus: Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.


Average Rating: 2.5/5
User Ratings: 74,871



Movie Info

"Vampires Suck" is a comedy about contemporary teen angst and romance movies. Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca's friends contend with their own romantic issues -- all of which collide at the prom.

PG-13 (for crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying)
Directed By:
In Theaters:
Nov 30, 2010
Box Office:
20th Century Fox - Official Site

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Critic Reviews for Vampires Suck

All Critics (88) | Top Critics (18) | Fresh (4) | Rotten (84) | DVD (1)

It's almost as cynical as the actual Twilight, and not nearly as funny.

Full Review… | June 3, 2013
Top Critic

All but the most die-hard fans can agree that the Twilight movies are spoof-worthy. So it's too bad they don't get a worthy spoof.

Full Review… | June 3, 2013
New York Daily News
Top Critic

A few broader references might have made this punishing one-note trawl through the eminently spoofable tween-vamp saga slightly more watchable.

Full Review… | October 13, 2010
Time Out
Top Critic

This movie sucks more.

Full Review… | August 26, 2010
Rolling Stone
Top Critic

Below bottom-of-the-barrel.

Full Review… | August 23, 2010
Time Out New York
Top Critic

Plenty of gags fall flat, but writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... have tapped the vein more effectively than their norm, with enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality.

Full Review… | August 19, 2010
Los Angeles Times
Top Critic

It's been two whole years since the team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer subjected us to one of its godawful parodies. Alas, the vacation is over.

Full Review… | July 25, 2014
Winnipeg Free Press

With the level of humor here running to flatulence jokes, groin kicks and high-school smart-aleck cracks, their movie does, indeed, (surely no other critic in the world will be this clever) SUCK!

Full Review… | July 25, 2014
Tulsa World

A witless, slavish pastiche of the series of romantic dramas based on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight novels. It is a knowing film that knows nothing about comedy.

Full Review… | July 25, 2014
Observer [UK]

Vampires Suck, and films like it, not only fail to parody elements of contemporary society, they barely spoof the genre they are trying to mock.

Full Review… | July 25, 2014

For the most part, the jokes are mildly relevant at least

Full Review… | January 6, 2014
7M Pictures

I know comedy is subjective, so grant me that Vampires Suck just did not make me laugh. It probably doesn't help that, as a spoof on the Twilight franchise, it's making fun of movies I also don't enjoy.

Full Review… | June 3, 2013
Film Threat

An insult to other bad vampire movies, which is saying a mouthful.

Full Review… | February 4, 2013
Ozus' World Movie Reviews

There are few things worse than watching a comedy flatline for over an hour, tossing its "funny parts" into a vacuum of uncomfortable silence.

Full Review… | February 9, 2012

A banal mess that sacrifices anything resembling satire for a series of smutty jokes.

Full Review… | August 30, 2011
The National

Only Friedberg and Seltzer could film this dross with the belief they are making even a half-decent comedy.

Full Review… | February 18, 2011

Casting two lookalikes and coaching your young actors to mimic the trio from 'Twilight' isn't enough to make for a great parody.

Full Review… | December 14, 2010
Movie Metropolis

There was a time when, for a certain generation, the release of a new Naked Gun or Hot Shots movie would be cause for real excitement.

Full Review… | October 30, 2010

A movie that will have you pining to watch the real Twilight films. Yes, it's that bad.

Full Review… | October 19, 2010
SFX Magazine

A witless, puerile spoof of the Twilight movies.

Full Review… | October 18, 2010
Daily Express

Vampires Suck misses its targets in spectacular fashion thanks to the directors' usual approach of simply recreating scenes from the original movies without any real understanding of what to satirise or even how to go about it.

Full Review… | October 18, 2010

It's not quite as bad as Friedberg and Seltzer's usual output, but only in the way that measles is better than mumps.

Full Review… | October 15, 2010
Daily Mirror [UK]

They don't suck as much as lame-brain parodists Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

Full Review… | October 15, 2010

So many accurate puns could be made about the title of this film that it hardly seems worth bothering.

Full Review… | October 15, 2010
Eye for Film

Audience Reviews for Vampires Suck

Basically Twilight with additional fart jokes and pop culture references.

vieras esine

Super Reviewer

Possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life. There is no purpose to this film's existence. It is a parody of an already mediocre film. The fact that its source material is almost just as poor in quality made this film not funny but rather tiresome and depressing.


Not bad for a spoof movie. Actually it looks pretty good and though the story is obviously stupid, being a mash up of several Twilight movies, the actress who plays Becca actually has Kristen Stewart's mannerisms down pretty well!

Nicki Marie

Super Reviewer


It's sad, that the funniest and best movie from Friedberg/Seltzer, still is a bad picture. At least it's much more better that the last works of both and present a good performance by Jenn Proske.

Lucas Martins
Lucas Martins

Super Reviewer

Vampires Suck Quotes

I know what you are.
I know what you are. Say it. Out loud. Say it.
The Jonas Brothers!
– Submitted by Emelyn W (17 months ago)
Just the sound of your breathing is the greatest gift you can give me... [fart noise from bella causes Edward to franticly waft around his nose and fall backwards through the window]
– Submitted by Will B (2 years ago)
A chihuaha, seriously?
Yeah, I'm new to this thing.
– Submitted by Ko-di G (2 years ago)
– Submitted by Torie R (3 years ago)
Um, do I smell?
Yeah, like tunafish.
[Holds up sandwhich] Lunch...
– Submitted by Dejah S (3 years ago)
Becca, will you go? [Becca revvs motorbike]
Sorry, Jacob, I can't hear you.
Maybe if you stop revving the bike every time I try to ask, you'd hear me. Becca, will you go... [Truck drives past and honks horn loudly] Aw, come on!
– Submitted by Torie R (3 years ago)

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