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Vampires Suck (2010)



Average Rating: 2.3/10
Reviews Counted: 84
Fresh: 4 | Rotten: 80

Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.


Average Rating: 2.1/10
Critic Reviews: 17
Fresh: 1 | Rotten: 16

Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.



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Average Rating: 2.5/5
User Ratings: 74,603

My Rating

Movie Info

The comedy masterminds behind Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Meet the Spartans drive a squeaky rubber stake through the heart of the Twilight series with this irreverent satire about a teenage girl who's torn between two supernatural suitors. As Becca struggles to contend with her overbearing father, two fierce rivals compete to win her heart. But Becca isn't the only high-school student having a hard time with boys; her friends are all desperate to find a date for the prom, and as the big




Nov 30, 2010


20th Century Fox - Official Site External Icon

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All Critics (84) | Top Critics (17) | Fresh (4) | Rotten (80) | DVD (1)

It's almost as cynical as the actual Twilight, and not nearly as funny.

June 3, 2013 Full Review Source: Newsday
Top Critic IconTop Critic

All but the most die-hard fans can agree that the Twilight movies are spoof-worthy. So it's too bad they don't get a worthy spoof.

June 3, 2013 Full Review Source: New York Daily News
New York Daily News
Top Critic IconTop Critic

A few broader references might have made this punishing one-note trawl through the eminently spoofable tween-vamp saga slightly more watchable.

October 13, 2010 Full Review Source: Time Out
Time Out
Top Critic IconTop Critic

This movie sucks more.

August 26, 2010 Full Review Source: Rolling Stone | Comments (13)
Rolling Stone
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Below bottom-of-the-barrel.

August 23, 2010 Full Review Source: Time Out New York | Comments (5)
Time Out New York
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Plenty of gags fall flat, but writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... have tapped the vein more effectively than their norm, with enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality.

August 19, 2010 Full Review Source: Los Angeles Times | Comments (174)
Los Angeles Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

For the most part, the jokes are mildly relevant at least

January 6, 2014 Full Review Source: 7M Pictures
7M Pictures

I know comedy is subjective, so grant me that Vampires Suck just did not make me laugh. It probably doesn't help that, as a spoof on the Twilight franchise, it's making fun of movies I also don't enjoy.

June 3, 2013 Full Review Source: Film Threat
Film Threat

An insult to other bad vampire movies, which is saying a mouthful.

February 4, 2013 Full Review Source: Ozus' World Movie Reviews
Ozus' World Movie Reviews

There are few things worse than watching a comedy flatline for over an hour, tossing its "funny parts" into a vacuum of uncomfortable silence.

February 9, 2012 Full Review Source: Cinematical

A banal mess that sacrifices anything resembling satire for a series of smutty jokes.

August 30, 2011 Full Review Source: The National
The National

Only Friedberg and Seltzer could film this dross with the belief they are making even a half-decent comedy.

February 18, 2011 Full Review Source: Future Movies UK

Casting two lookalikes and coaching your young actors to mimic the trio from 'Twilight' isn't enough to make for a great parody.

December 14, 2010 Full Review Source: Movie Metropolis | Comments (2)
Movie Metropolis

There was a time when, for a certain generation, the release of a new Naked Gun or Hot Shots movie would be cause for real excitement.

October 30, 2010 Full Review Source: Future Movies UK | Comment (1)

A movie that will have you pining to watch the real Twilight films. Yes, it's that bad.

October 19, 2010 Full Review Source: SFX Magazine
SFX Magazine

A witless, puerile spoof of the Twilight movies.

October 18, 2010 Full Review Source: Daily Express
Daily Express

Vampires Suck misses its targets in spectacular fashion thanks to the directors' usual approach of simply recreating scenes from the original movies without any real understanding of what to satirise or even how to go about it.

October 18, 2010 Full Review Source: Scotsman

It's not quite as bad as Friedberg and Seltzer's usual output, but only in the way that measles is better than mumps.

October 15, 2010 Full Review Source: Daily Mirror [UK]
Daily Mirror [UK]

So many accurate puns could be made about the title of this film that it hardly seems worth bothering.

October 15, 2010 Full Review Source: Eye for Film
Eye for Film

They don't suck as much as lame-brain parodists Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

October 15, 2010 Full Review Source: Independent

It's almost fascinatingly awful, nailing the moony tedium of its target franchise with something close to suicidal exactitude.

October 14, 2010 Full Review Source: Daily Telegraph
Daily Telegraph

The last time I heard a film audience in such a state of silence was during Ingmar Bergman's Winter Light.

October 14, 2010 Full Review Source: Guardian [UK]
Guardian [UK]

The erratic, barely humorous dialogue here is even more ghastly than your average spoof, while Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer's direction is patchy, to say the least.

October 14, 2010 Full Review Source: Radio Times
Radio Times

It's marginally sharper than the likes of Meet The Spartans -- yes, that good -- but essentially as tatty as a porn parody, without all the best bits.

October 14, 2010 Full Review Source: Total Film
Total Film

Audience Reviews for Vampires Suck

Basically Twilight with additional fart jokes and pop culture references.
January 26, 2013

Super Reviewer

Possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life. There is no purpose to this film's existence. It is a parody of an already mediocre film. The fact that its source material is almost just as poor in quality made this film not funny but rather tiresome and depressing.
November 26, 2012
Matthew Samuel Mirliani

Super Reviewer

Not bad for a spoof movie. Actually it looks pretty good and though the story is obviously stupid, being a mash up of several Twilight movies, the actress who plays Becca actually has Kristen Stewart's mannerisms down pretty well!
November 23, 2012

Super Reviewer

It's sad, that the funniest and best movie from Friedberg/Seltzer, still is a bad picture. At least it's much more better that the last works of both and present a good performance by Jenn Proske.
July 21, 2012
Lucas Martins

Super Reviewer

    1. Becca: I know what you are.
    2. Edward: I know what you are. Say it. Out loud. Say it.
    3. Becca: The Jonas Brothers!
    – Submitted by Emelyn W (11 months ago)
    1. Edward: Just the sound of your breathing is the greatest gift you can give me... [fart noise from bella causes Edward to franticly waft around his nose and fall backwards through the window]
    – Submitted by Will B (2 years ago)
    1. Becca: A chihuaha, seriously?
    2. Jacob: Yeah, I'm new to this thing.
    – Submitted by Ko-di G (2 years ago)
    1. Jacob: Cat!
    – Submitted by Torie R (2 years ago)
    1. Becca: Um, do I smell?
    2. Edward: Yeah, like tunafish.
    3. Becca: [Holds up sandwhich] Lunch...
    – Submitted by Dejah S (2 years ago)
    1. Jacob: Becca, will you go? [Becca revvs motorbike]
    2. Becca: Sorry, Jacob, I can't hear you.
    3. Jacob: Maybe if you stop revving the bike every time I try to ask, you'd hear me. Becca, will you go... [Truck drives past and honks horn loudly] Aw, come on!
    – Submitted by Torie R (2 years ago)
View all quotes (7)

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August 20, 2010:
Critics Consensus: Vampires Suck Bites
This week at the movies, we've got a Twilight spoof (Vampires Suck, starring Jenn Proske and Matt...

Foreign Titles

  • Beilight - Biss zum Abendbrot (DE)
  • Mords-moi sans hésitation (FR)
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