Critics Consensus: Vampires Suck Bites

Summary

This week at the movies, we've got a Twilight spoof (Vampires Suck, starring Jenn Proske and Matt Lanter); a magical childminder (Nanny McPhee Returns, starring Emma Thompson and Maggie Gyllenhaal); bloodthirsty fish (Piranha 3-D, starring Elisabeth Shue and Jerry O'Connell); a baby mixup (The Switch, starring Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman); and powerball pratfalls (Lottery Ticket, starring Bow Wow and Ice Cube). What do the critics have to say? The critically-reviled spoof-meisters Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer make Uwe Boll look like Akira Kurosawa; for those keeping score at home, their best-reviewed directorial effort thus far is Date Movie, which scored a robust six percent on the Tomatometer. Back to Article

Comments

sunsaz

Chris Moore

"Expendables" will probably retain the title this weekend, but "Switch" and "Piranha" could make a dent in the box office.

Aug 19 - 08:19 PM

John H.

John Hurson

Looks like I'll be absent from the cinema for a couple of weeks. Nothing to see until Machete opens.

Aug 19 - 08:23 PM

Phillip K.

Phillip Kissell

No shit.

Aug 19 - 09:19 PM

RamALamADingDong

That Guy

Nothing for me this weekend. Looks like I'll be checking out The Other Guys and The Expendables, which I have yet to do.

Aug 19 - 09:24 PM

Patrick

Patrick Wagner

I agree. Everyone wrote off The Crazies upon its early trailers and it did pretty good. I think Predators surprised some people too.

Aug 19 - 09:29 PM

Brendon D.

Brendon Day

And Agreed, Predators surprised the hell out of me, a surprisingly fun film that made me forget about those terrible AvP sequels

Aug 20 - 07:39 AM

Brendon D.

Brendon Day

And Agreed, Predators surprised the hell out of me, a surprisingly fun film that made me forget about those terrible AvP sequels

Aug 20 - 07:39 AM

EllenPageIsMyArchitect.

Joshua Medicoff

Damn, Pirahna 3D is an orgasm at the movies.

Aug 19 - 09:37 PM

Hemal B.

Hemal Bhawani

Check the page carefully. As of 20/08/10, only 11 critics have commented on it. Expect a clearer result in the next few days.

Aug 19 - 09:42 PM

DarkShines2063

Rawley Reynolds

like everyone else has said,i am surprised that piranha 3D is getting good reviews.

Aug 19 - 09:49 PM

thebobsters

Bobby T.

no surprise about vampires suck and lottery ticket. but pirhannas? i thought that movie would have sucked

Aug 19 - 09:51 PM

ashley r.

ashley ross

Vampires Sucks...wow. I don't even know what to say. The sad thing is, the franchise that they were mocking, actually had better movies. Thank God I didn't actually pay to see that crap. I'm tired of the whole 3D thing... and Nanny McPhee...really?

Aug 19 - 09:54 PM

dethburger

dethburger hates Flixster

Piranha 3D is gonna rock.

cool.

Aug 19 - 10:06 PM

MADDAZ

Darren Anderson

Love the profile pic bud.

Aug 21 - 11:42 PM

Zaraki

Rick V

Is anyone even surprised Vampires Suck sucked? These guys need to stop making movies...

Aug 19 - 10:21 PM

ZenFan

Dylan Hair

Honestly, is this a surprise. I couldn't believe people thought Vampires Suck was going to be good simply because it "spoofs" Twilight. It from Freidberg/Seltzer!!!! Of course it is going to be a sh**ty movie!! Anyeay DEFINITELY skipping that one forever and I've already got money on it sweeping the razzies. May check out Piranha 3D, looks like dumb fun, and right now I could use some of that, and surprisingly good reviews for it!

Aug 19 - 10:31 PM

Aurora B.

Aurora Bellard

i don't want to see any of these movies, just how sad is that? (also surprised that ppl like Piranha, still not seeing it tho)

Aug 19 - 10:41 PM

RamALamADingDong

That Guy

It's not going to win any Razzies. Lately they've been going after disappointments rather than simply bad movies. There's far too many contenders for those movies that just don't try and give nothing, like Vampires Suck.

Razzies will nominate the worst of them, but the winners tend to be those movies that promised big and flopped hard. No one will be surprised when VS fails in every aspect.

They'll probably go after stuff like Jonah Hex, The Last Airbender, and Clash of the Titans. Those may not be AS BAD as Vampires Suck, but they were trying to be big blockbusters whereas Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer realized years ago they ain't going nowhere.

Aug 19 - 10:52 PM

K

KateBeckinsaleLover Clarke

Ah yes I see your point. Well spoken sir!

Aug 19 - 11:27 PM

manwithoutfear19

Daniel Raimondi

they should've stopped making movies after scary movie 2

Aug 20 - 09:48 AM

DivineCC

Bill Pyle

They didn't do the first two scary movies, which is why they're not completely terrible.

Aug 20 - 10:12 AM

JC Martel

JC Martel

These guys wrote Scary movie 3 ? It's pretty good compared to all the sh*t they wrote lately.

Aug 21 - 12:15 PM

manwithoutfear19

Daniel Raimondi

oh they didnt do the first two whew that's a relief

Aug 21 - 08:17 PM

DoctorXeno

Jonathan Nono

82% for Pirahna 3D: Surprize o' da summa.

Apperantly, films that shot in 3D are much better than films that get converted.

Aug 19 - 11:16 PM

K

KateBeckinsaleLover Clarke

Ah yes I see your point. Well spoken sir!

Aug 19 - 11:27 PM

Jon C.

Jon Cox

oh whew
Thank God!
I was worried Piranha 3D was gonna blow
wow, Alexandre Aja finally made a decent horror flick
I love his movies
I'll definitely being checking out Piranha 3D this weekend! :)

Aug 19 - 11:41 PM

Arekusandora

Alexandra Borrero

Scott Pilgrim for me this weekend for the third time ;D yea, I love the references of video games they make cuz that's my world. <3

Aug 19 - 11:53 PM

Aitch S.

Aitch Slavic

sounds like I should take my son.

Aug 20 - 10:42 AM

The NewHampshire Database

Kirk McCarty

Delete your account right now.

Aug 20 - 12:59 AM

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