• R, 1 hr. 59 min.
  • Comedy, Romance
  • Directed By:
    David Dobkin
    In Theaters:
    Jul 15, 2005 Wide
    On DVD:
    Jan 3, 2006
  • New Line Cinema

Wedding Crashers Quotes

The top Wedding Crashers quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

    1. Himself: Hey, I'm Kelly. I've got a compulsion.
    – Submitted by Bill K (12 months ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: She's fit for a strait-jacket. This broad's fucked three ways towards the weekend. But you know what, Father? I dig it! It turns me on.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. John Beckwith: Get up, you're making us look like pussies.
    2. Jeremy Grey: If I had any air in my lungs I'd scream at you.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. Okay? I'm not gonna apologize, I'm a cocksman!
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: [on the phone with Gloria] Bunch those panties up into a little ball, and put that little ball right in your mouth. Oh, yeah...
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Sack: Claire, you get your fucking ass on that altar right now!
    2. Chazz Reinhold: Wow, we're getting a great preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner over here.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Grandma Mary Cleary: But that wife of his, Eleanor... Big dyke! Huge dyke. A real rug muncher. Looked like a big lesbian mule.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Grandma Mary Cleary: You're a homo.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: Todd, I notice you haven't even touched your food yet.
    2. Todd Cleary: I don't eat meat or fish.
    3. Grandma Mary Cleary: He's a homo.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. John Beckwith: Wow, they feel really nice. Real orb-like. It's amazing what they can do...
    2. Kathleen Cleary: Pervert!
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Kathleen Cleary: I'm not letting you out of this room until you feel them.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Kathleen Cleary: I just had my tits done. You like 'em?
    2. John Beckwith: Those... seem like lovely tits.
    3. Kathleen Cleary: William doesn't give a shit about my tits.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Mrs. Kroeger: Her name is Chastity. She is white trash, same as you. Hillbilly!
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Randolph: You banging the daughter and the grandma? How much jam you got, man?
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: Listen, I'm getting married.
    2. John Beckwith: Get out.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. John Beckwith: What are you doing? It's a game of touch football, every time I look over you're on your ass again.
    – Submitted by Kelly E (19 months ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: Mom the meatloaf! FUCK!
    – Submitted by Brendan C (22 months ago)
    1. Todd Cleary: We had a moment had the dinner table didn't we?
    2. Jeremy Grey: No we didn't have a moment at the dinner table!
    3. Todd Cleary: Yes we did have a moment.
    4. Jeremy Grey: There was no moment, I was there. If I was there don't you think I would have noticed if there was a moment?
    – Submitted by Brendan C (22 months ago)
    1. John Beckwith: I crashed a funeral today.
    – Submitted by Aaron R (23 months ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: Just the tip, just to see how it feels...
    – Submitted by Brandon L (23 months ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: I rode my bike over to the cemetary nearby her boyfriend just died.
    2. John Beckwith: You met her at a funeral?
    3. Chazz Reinhold: Yeah dude died a handgliding accident, what an idiot ha ha ha ha, ahh im handgliding take a picture im dead ha ha ha what a freak.
    – Submitted by James B (24 months ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
    – Submitted by James B (24 months ago)
    1. John Beckwith: Rule No. 5: You're an idiot.
    – Submitted by Jesse C (2 years ago)
    1. Grandma Mary Cleary: He's a homo.
    – Submitted by Rebecca & (2 years ago)
    1. John Beckwith: Could you say that a little louder I don't think the preist heard you.
    – Submitted by Rebecca & (2 years ago)
    1. Todd Cleary: What is our situation dad?!
    – Submitted by Rebecca & (2 years ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: Mom the meatloaf!
    – Submitted by Rebecca & (2 years ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: Its like fishing with dynamite.
    – Submitted by Paul H (2 years ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: Almost nunchucked you. you don't realise how lucky you are.
    – Submitted by Paul H (2 years ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: Just living the dream.
    – Submitted by Paul H (2 years ago)
    1. John Beckwith: You picked her up at a funeral? Chazz I respect you and think you're an innovator but I'm just not ready for that. [queue funeral music]
    – Submitted by Tom V (2 years ago)
    1. John Beckwith: You ever feel like you're disappearing? I feel so much like giving up.
    – Submitted by Tom V (2 years ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup. I love maple syrup! I love maple syrup on pancakes, I love it on pizza! Sometimes I take maple syrup and put a little in my hair. What do you think holds it up, slick?
    – Submitted by Chancellor M (2 years ago)
    1. Mrs. Kroeger: You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!
    – Submitted by Cori J (3 years ago)
    1. John Beckwith: Baba ghanoush!
    – Submitted by Nastassia J (3 years ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac.
    – Submitted by Nastassia J (3 years ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: Oh, I'm hang gliding! Honey, take a good picture. I'm dead!
    – Submitted by Nastassia J (3 years ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: Lock it up!
    – Submitted by Scott D (3 years ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: MA! THE MEATLOAF!
    – Submitted by Neptune F (3 years ago)
    1. Jeremy Grey: Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.
    – Submitted by rob g (3 years ago)
    1. Chazz Reinhold: What is she doing back there? I never know what she's doing.
    – Submitted by rob g (3 years ago)

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