ROTTEN TOMATOES: Uwe Boll Creams Critic in Match; "BloodRayne" Still At 5%

Uwe Boll Creams Critic in Match; "BloodRayne" Still At 5%

by Jen Yamato | September 07, 2006

Notorious German director Uwe Boll has taken on his first critic in the boxing ring, as promised – and you can view the video online!

Boll, the filmmaker and German tax law utilizer behind such video game adaptations as "Alone in the Dark" (01%), "BloodRayne" (05%), and the forthcoming "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale," had grown tired of the critical ridicule he's garnered virtually every time he's released a movie.

No, this is not what you'll be seeing in the video. It's not even close.

Now it's Boll's turn to dish out the ridicule -- in the ring. Ok, so he's no prizefighter, but compared to his first challenger, "Oso" (also known as Spanish webmaster Carlos Palencia of Cinecutre.com), Boll's a light heavyweight champ. Beware before viewing the clip – this is not, I repeat not, good boxing.

Also on Boll's upcoming ticket are AICN's Jeff Sneider, Rue Morgue Radio journalist Chris Alexander, and web critic Nelson Chance Minter. Hope they're doing their homework and hitting the speedbags, 'cause Boll's got a solid right hook.

Related Items

Celeb:	Uwe Boll
Movie:	Alone in the Dark
	In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
	BloodRayne

(1-20 of 34 posts) | Reply

Kid_Ikarus writes:
on Sep 07 2006 02:11 PM

[b]They had it coming...[/b]
MWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA!!!!

(Reply to this)

nogard64 writes:
on Sep 07 2006 02:15 PM

[b]WHAT![/b]
so hes not even fighting real critics? just some random internet blogger/web master critics? Thought he'd be fighting Roper or Gene Shallet or something. So he cant make movies right and he cant even fight real film critics? haha

(Reply to this)

arpeggio191 writes:
on Sep 07 2006 02:42 PM

[b]man...[/b]
this was one of the worst movies ever. They should take all the critics who made it 5% and shoot them.

besides, kristiana loken got fat

(Reply to this)

IMAmoose24 writes:
on Sep 07 2006 03:44 PM

That's fighting?

(Reply to this)

chazbow writes:
on Sep 07 2006 04:15 PM

[b]Pathetic[/b]
That so-called "fight" is as pathetic as one of Toilet Boll's movies. Did he purposely pick the wimpiest critics in the world as opponents? Anybody who can throw a decent punch should be able to wipe the floor with Toilet Boll.

(Reply to this)

Matthew writes:
on Sep 07 2006 04:52 PM

Apparently Mike Tyson gave Alone in the Dark a scathing review.
Can we please see him in the ring with Uwe?

Or for that matter anyone who can actually throw a frickin' punch?
Uwe just kept his guard up & jabbed occassionally. If someone with even a little hand speed put on some body shots he'd be toast.

However I never actually thought this would go ahead though, & it just adds to the legend that is Uwe Boll - the modern day Ed Wood.

(Reply to this)

Dante Destin writes:
on Sep 07 2006 05:09 PM

[b]RE:[/b]
Every strain of video that Uwe Boll has anything to do with (inlcudinng this one) is hazardous to IQ, culture, and careers (with the exception of his... somehow). Hell, I'll even blame him for the Holocaust.

(Reply to this)

TheAnswerMVP2001 writes:
on Sep 07 2006 06:57 PM

Which one is Uwe Boll? I'm guessing its the guy with the pony tail dressed like Nacho Libre who is consistantly staying away from the other guy.

(Reply to this)

South_park300 writes:
on Sep 07 2006 07:18 PM

put me in the ring with him...hell, just point me in his direction on the street. i'll drop a bag of all the unsold dvds of his movies on his head...i'm going to need a crane...

(Reply to this)

badmoviecritic writes:
on Sep 07 2006 07:25 PM

[b]goodness[/b]
man, i had to turn that fecal matter off after 90 seconds, and even then, thats 90 seconds longer than i should have watched that crap. lol at answermvp, nacho libre, thats funny.

i think i heard the spanish guys talking about the 'maricon' needing to hit someone.

anyways, i watched bloodrayne hoping that at least kristana loken might look good...nope.. .and holy hell what is ben kingsley doing, he played gandhi for christ sake, i know why the other friggin ppl did this movie, but does ben need the money that bad? i hear michael madsen will play birthday parties for $10..

hope uwe gets knocked out when he fights the female critic next month in Andorra...

(Reply to this)

h-town24 writes:
on Sep 07 2006 08:04 PM

boll is a fricking idiot!

(Reply to this)

Raziel5000 writes:
on Sep 08 2006 02:04 AM

[b]The Uwe Boll movement!!!!![/b]
Hey, at least he had the guts to get in the ring in the first place! (And trust me, it does take guts.) And his challange was open to everyone who wanted to answer it. It isnt his fault if the only people stepping up dont put on much of a show. He even threw it open to Tarantino!
Now, I'm not saying I'm a fan of his movies. I cant make that statment because I've never seen one yet and dont have much fancy for them. But it's so very easy to sit behind a keyboard and rant on about how bad this guy is - but at least he's doing it. If someone offered you the chance to do something you loved for a living, but at every step people put you down - would you still do it? He at least has grit and determination.

His movies may be bad (cant say for sure) but technically so are Troma movies - but to me Troma movies are fantastic! The point here is that there is a market out there for his films. SOME people do want to see them.

But I guess everyones a critic. Its much easier that way right? So if thats the case, why didnt any of you step in the ring with him?
Nah, thats dumb right, its much easier to sit behind a keyboard and talk big - no comebacks that way.

(Reply to this)

Vega-Star writes:
on Sep 08 2006 06:59 AM

In reply to this comment (#843844)
[b]...[/b]
You know, I 100% agree with you. Well said.....But if you saw Alone in the Dark, I think you'd understand just a bit more.

(Reply to this)

Reeven writes:
on Sep 08 2006 07:20 AM

That may be the worst fighting I have ever seen. And I've seen some bad fights. Hell, there was a brawl in the cafeteria in my high school that had more action, and that's sad.

(Reply to this)

Raziel5000 writes:
on Sep 08 2006 07:34 AM

In reply to this comment (#843845)
Haha, that may well be true, I wont argue that. As I've said - from the look of his movies they dont really appeal to me. Tara Reid playing an archaeologist (or whatever she plays) was a big warning sign for me to stay away lol. Still, just trying to bring a little balance to the whole thing. And I do applaud him for what he's doing here. Sure, its obviously a publicity stunt to promote the movie, but its one of the most original and ballsey ones I've seen. Go Uwe!!!!!!! :D

(Reply to this)

brownitus writes:
on Sep 08 2006 09:52 AM

In reply to this comment (#843844)
[b]no doubt[/b]
Very well said. It's always easier for herbs to compensate for their own shortcomings through slamming others, but that's the world we live in. I haven't seen any of his films either, but he was in the ring puttin' his money where his mouth is..

(Reply to this)

dylan21484nj writes:
on Sep 08 2006 11:09 AM

who didn't see this coming, as if Uwe was gonna pick ciritcs who actually had a chance of beating him?

(Reply to this)

JaredLightstorm writes:
on Sep 08 2006 11:40 AM

I want to like Uwe Boll and it is my belief that he has improved with each film up to Bloodrayne which i consider to be his best. I feel Bloodrayne was unfairly maligned simply because it was an Uwe Boll film. I have a group of friends that gather at my home every Friday night to screen films in my home theater and we love horror and sci-fi therefore i have subjected them to House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne. House of the dead had some cool scenes in it such as the graveyard battle and Erica Durance getting naked...lol We admit it wasn't great but we have managed to watch it around 6 times over the past few years. Alone stunk...no doubt about it but we really liked Bloodrayne and had a lot of fun with it which is pretty much all you supposed to do with these films. Do we really expect Uwe Boll to make War and Peace here? It all boils down to knowing what it is you are going to see. Don't go see an Uwe Boll film and then complain that it is no good....if you don't like the guy don't watch his films. I know i would rather see Bloodrayne a thousand times than to sit through Boogeyman, Pulse, or The Wicker Man(remake) once more because those films did not have any element of fun about them at all. I strongly feel that eventually Mr Boll will make a film that is well received but until then we have to give the guy a chance. It is not right to criticize his films if you have never seen one or just to say it sucks because it is an Uwe Boll film. I know there are some gamers out there that think Mr Boll is bringing the videogame based film down or giving them a bad rep...well i am a gamer too and films like Mario Bros., Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Final Fantasy, and Doom have been doing a pretty good job of that all by themselves and guess what...they weren't directed by Uwe Boll. I have said it before and ill say it again....personally i don't care much for most critics anyway so i hope he beats them down,,,,,,leaves them battered.......bruised.....bloody......and crying in a pool of tears and excrement.

(Reply to this)

cgcbooks writes:
on Sep 08 2006 12:25 PM

Who shot this lousy video, Uwe Boll?

(Reply to this)

phill01 writes:
on Sep 08 2006 02:04 PM

I wonder if Samuel L. Jackson has ever criticised a uwe Boll Film?

(Reply to this)

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