Rating Title | Year Quote Author
1 91%

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

"The Cabin in the Woods manages to throw the horror and comedy genres into a blender, and the result is a delicious product that's ridiculously fun and warrants watching at least once."

Posted Jan 8, 2013

Gregg Katzman

2 51%

John Carter (2012)

"Director Andrew Stanton said he hoped to create a timeless adventure, and I wholeheartedly believe the man has succeeded."

Posted Mar 5, 2012

Gregg Katzman

3 41%

Silent House (2012)

"By minute 75 of this 86 minute film I actually muttered, "that's it" and put my hands over my eyes."

Posted Feb 22, 2012

Jordan Hoffman

4 94%

The Secret World of Arrietty (2012)

"[A]n enjoyable and creative little film that may have you checking under the bed next time you hear something go bump in the night"

Posted Feb 17, 2012

Jordan Hoffman

5 18%

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

"Yeah, crazy Nic Cage pisses fire, but only for a second and in someone's imagination, a great indication that even the characters in this film are dreaming of something better."

Posted Feb 17, 2012

Jordan Hoffman

6 93%

50/50 (2011)

"...what makes this "chuckles n' chemo" film so watchable is that it is, at its core, a fish out of water tale."

Posted Sep 29, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

7 94%

Moneyball (2011)

"Moneyball is one of the few movies to leave me thinking "that should have been a segment of This American Life.""

Posted Sep 21, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

8 93%

Drive (2011)

"All right, first: everybody calm down. Drive is good, it's very good...but for me it lacks the emotional heft to elevate it from "gem" to "masterpiece.""

Posted Sep 15, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

9 83%

Warrior (2011)

"Subtle it ain't. "

Posted Sep 9, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

10 84%

Contagion (2011)

"If you're the type of person who finds the opening credits montage the most frightening aspect of Romero's original Dawn of the Dead, you will absolutely lose your mind during Contagion. "

Posted Sep 9, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

11 77%

The Debt (2011)

"So The Debt, much like the State of Israel, has some existential problems. So much of it is good, however, that it is easy to ignore some misguided steps."

Posted Sep 2, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

12 27%

Colombiana (2011)

"Put Zoe Saldana in a catsuit and have her slithering around air conditioning ducts while techno music pumps and, basically, you've most of my attention. "

Posted Aug 26, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

13 58%

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011)

"Bound to get lodged somewhere deep in your mind as "oh, heck, what was the name of that movie with the girl and the monsters? That one wasn't half bad.""

Posted Aug 23, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

14 74%

Bellflower (2011)

"For an independent production made for very little money, Bellflower is an achievement, and will definitely find an audience with badasses, drunkards and dropouts."

Posted Aug 19, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

15 72%

Fright Night (2011)

"Back in my day, when we were certain the new, odd neighbor was a vampire we'd spend the bulk of the second act in knots because nobody, nobody, would believe us. "

Posted Aug 19, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

16 45%

30 Minutes or Less (2011)

"It is about as deep as a Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner cartoon, but it has the right maniacal edge to keep you laughing along. "

Posted Aug 5, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

17 82%

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

"This movie has a brain in its head. It's in the script, it's in the pacing and, heaven knows, it is there in the technology. "

Posted Aug 4, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

18 22%

The Smurfs (2011)

"I will not go so far as to call The Smurfs subversive, but it is surprisingly sophisticated. "

Posted Jul 28, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

19 86%

Batman: Year One (2011)

"Marital infidelity, child prostitution and civic corruption are bluntly (although tastefully) displayed - it just so happens that there's also a guy zipping around town in a bat suit."

Posted Jul 27, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

20 44%

Cowboys & Aliens (2011)

"I love westerns, I love sci-fi and, by and large, I love genre mash-ups. And I still didn't like Cowboys & Aliens."

Posted Jul 27, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

21 71%

The Future (2011)

"While I am not absolutely in love with this picture, I very much recommend it to anyone looking for something new from an assured and gifted talent."

Posted Jul 25, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

22 96%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 (2011)

"Harry Potter, yeah, it's not bad."

Posted Jul 15, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

23 69%

Horrible Bosses (2011)

"a crowd-pleaser"

Posted Jul 11, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

24 36%

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

"[a] hot mess."

Posted Jun 28, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

25 80%

Conan O'Brien Can't Stop (2011)

"We've seen booze, dope and gambling chew up a man before, but never vaudevillian song-and-dance routines."

Posted Jun 22, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

26 45%

Bad Teacher (2011)

"An amusing but wholly forgettable assemblage of scenes, some very funny, others thankfully brief, that you should absolutely catch bits of when it is on cable."

Posted Jun 22, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

27 39%

Cars 2 (2011)

"This isn't an animated film, this is a cartoon."

Posted Jun 21, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

28 26%

Green Lantern (2011)

"Green Lantern is, more so than most, an accurate representation of [the comic book] artform: brisk, enjoyable and, like a 30-page single issue, ephemeral."

Posted Jun 15, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

29 85%

Viva Riva! (2011)

"Viva Riva makes good use of this richness, the ferocity of its characters and also dazzles the camera with a great number of very sensual lovemaking scenes."

Posted Jun 2, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

30 82%

Super 8 (2011)

"Super 8 is a noble effort that gets a lot right, and a lot wrong."

Posted Jun 1, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

31 87%

X-Men: First Class (2011)

"Matthew Vaughn's new inspired-by-canon film takes L'essence du X and seals it in a petri dish with cells from 1960s adventure pictures."

Posted Jun 1, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

32 34%

The Hangover Part II (2011)

"There's no simply no way to connect with this film on a story basis."

Posted May 25, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

33 84%

The Tree of Life (2011)

"Tree of Life belongs in a Loews multiplex about as much as it belongs in a museum, or projected at a site-specific artist's installation"

Posted May 17, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

34 33%

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

"On Stranger Tides is good "for a Pirates film.""

Posted May 15, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

35 16%

Priest (2011)

"...society is protected by a band of licensed-to-kill clergy who power up with prayer and shoot cross-shaped ninja stars."

Posted May 13, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

36 63%

True Legend (2011)

"Ostensibly set in the 1860s at the end of the Qing Dynasty, the opening battle looks more like Middle Earth than anything from history."

Posted May 9, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

37 77%

Thor (2011)

"Thor is a giddy value-sized bag of popcorn, and it will delight genre fans, though its charms aren't quite oversized enough to provide cover for all of its script and character problems. "

Posted May 4, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

38 95%

The Guard (2011)

"We're never quite sure if our hero is the smartest man in the room, or a disgusting racist with a Clouseau-esque knack for careening into victory."

Posted Apr 29, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

39 96%

13 Assassins (2011)

" If you like movies where tension mounts behind stern scowls and muted cries for justice until the very screen explodes with ballistic force, Takashi Miike's 13 Assassins is for you."

Posted Apr 27, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

40 77%

Fast Five (2011)

"For seeing gigantic men beat the hell out of one another and for leering at sexed-up hotties zipping around on scooters you'll be hard pressed to find any film that's its equal - until Fast Six."

Posted Apr 27, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

41 89%

The Trip (2011)

"Imagine Winterbottom's previous film 9 Songs but instead of rock concerts and NC-17 sex there's seared scallops and impersonations of Michael Caine."

Posted Apr 25, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

42 73%

POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (2011)

"Spurlock's desire to make his kakmaime scheme work transforms him from a snarkier-than-thou, Harpers Magazine-friendly trickster into an earnest man trying to nail a business deal. And he gives great meeting!"

Posted Apr 22, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

43 58%

Scream 4 (2011)

"Scream 4 never meta horror scenario it didn't like."

Posted Apr 13, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

44 72%

Hanna (2011)

"When the beats and the color saturation fades, we're left with nothing but a very surface, very uninteresting story. "

Posted Apr 11, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

45 27%

Your Highness (2011)

"Like a joint rolled with graph paper"

Posted Apr 11, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

46 23%

Sucker Punch (2011)

"How could a movie with giant samurai, interplanetary robots, undead WWI soldiers, dragons and 5 half-naked beauties be bad? Well, funny you asked."

Posted Mar 25, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

47 60%

The Beaver (2011)

"A perfect match of artist and repertoire."

Posted Mar 17, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

48 66%

Insidious (2011)

"Looking up the word Insidious in the dictionary is a more fulfilling experience than seeing the movie Insidious."

Posted Mar 14, 2011

Jordan Hoffman

49 No Score Yet

Little Deaths (2010)

"Semen is the glue that binds the three shorts in Little Deaths."

Posted Mar 14, 2011

Jordan Hoffman