Rating Title | Year Quote Author
1 73%

Godzilla (2014)

"Godzilla has run the gamut from campy action star hissing at throngs with poorly dubbed English to an even bigger joke - cough, hack, the 1998 monstrosity - to this sweet reinvention. Size doesn't matter. Acting matters. Writing matters. Cranston matters."

Posted May 16, 2014

Mike Ward

2 53%

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

"Despite layers of borrowed source material, retread inspiration and Tobey Mcguire's red and blue voodoo doll, The Amazing Spiderman 2 manages to deliver a mostly fresh and enjoyable - if not quickly forgettable - superhero flick."

Posted May 2, 2014

Mike Ward

3 19%

Transcendence (2014)

"The Lawnmower Man, Max Headroom and Johnny Depp walk into a bar. They get drunk and decide to make a movie."

Posted Apr 18, 2014

Mike Ward

4 89%

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

"It wants to be serious, funny, jingoistic, independent-minded, poignant and a CGI fireworks show all at once in every scene. Even Michael Bay has a headache."

Posted Apr 4, 2014

Mike Ward

5 77%

Noah (2014)

""Noah" is a religious movie in the same way that "2012" was a documentary on Mayan culture. We might as well call it "Russell Crowe's Big Floating Petting Zoo.""

Posted Mar 30, 2014

Mike Ward

6 95%

The Guard (2011)

"The Guard is raw, modest and charming - maybe the only movie possessing all three characteristics. "

Posted Sep 9, 2011

Mike Ward

7 82%

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

"For 90 minutes, it could be a super-sized Hallmark Channel flick. The ape revolution teased in the trailer, all 30 minutes of it, is an afterthought. There are scrap-booking conventions with more action."

Posted Aug 6, 2011

Mike Ward

8 78%

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

"Steve Carell already played a modern day Noah in titanically bad "Evan Almighty." In "Crazy, Stupid, Love" he redeems himself in his second Old Testament challenge: Job of the RomCom."

Posted Jul 31, 2011

Mike Ward

9 79%

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

"Hating on Captain America just isn't American. Go ahead and move to Canada; I'm sure they have some magical Mountie who's thwarting evil loggers."

Posted Jul 23, 2011

Mike Ward

10 96%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 (2011)

"It's a bucket of maraschino cherries and whipped cream after no supper. It's a two-plus hour climax without an ounce of foreplay. A fireworks grand finale without a single sparkler cooling off in Uncle Joe's Pabst can."

Posted Jul 16, 2011

Mike Ward

11 35%

Larry Crowne (2011)

"It wants to be a subtle, inspirational message to those undergoing tough times. Even his name - half schmucky, half regal-ish - shows that second chances really happen! (Just ask Lonnie Millionbucks and Jerry Diamonde). The upshot? Meh."

Posted Jul 3, 2011

Mike Ward

12 36%

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

"Michael Bay's third "Transformers" installment in four years is a rambling mess of bastardized news reel footage, over-stylized CGI talking toy jousts, and light-hearted scenes with the comedic timing of Dick Cheney's pacemaker."

Posted Jul 2, 2011

Mike Ward

13 84%

The Tree of Life (2011)

"I admire The Tree of Life - in the same way I admire the white-haired lady in the Guinness Book of World Records with 28-foot fingernails. By the way, after "The Tree of Life," you'll probably have to cut your nails, just saying."

Posted Jun 18, 2011

Mike Ward

14 82%

Super 8 (2011)

"E.T. texted a homey, Spielberg paid the earth-bound ticket, and now we have Super 8."

Posted Jun 10, 2011

Mike Ward

15 34%

The Hangover Part II (2011)

"It isn't so much a sequel as it is a translation, a translation for those who prefer to drink up their humor garnished with a groin kick and a mid-coitis choke instead of a wink and a nod. Bottoms up. "

Posted May 31, 2011

Mike Ward

16 33%

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

"Captain Jack's roots aren't the only thing that's gone nappy; the 137 minutes of so-so swashbuckling and tired Tarzan-eque rope swinging packs the punch of Tylenol PM and coconut rum."

Posted May 22, 2011

Mike Ward

17 90%

Bridesmaids (2011)

"Bridesmaids busts through the party movie glass ceiling with a steel-toed stiletto and a tepid magnum of Yellow Tail."

Posted May 14, 2011

Mike Ward

18 77%

Thor (2011)

"If the rest of the popcorn movie entries exceed expectations on this level, then the forthcoming shirtless hero worship season might give me washboard abs - "Conan," "Captain America" and "Sinbad" are yet to come. "

Posted May 7, 2011

Mike Ward

19 77%

In A Better World (2011)

"I haven't seen two tougher hours tackling bullying since Meredith Vieira's five-part series on mixing Four Loco and passive-aggressive tween texting on "The Today Show.""

Posted May 1, 2011

Mike Ward

20 58%

Scream 4 (2011)

"You know a movie franchise has lost its pop culture clout when it goes from creating the most popular Halloween accessory to successfully tracing the arc of Courteney Cox and David Arquette's failed marriage."

Posted Apr 17, 2011

Mike Ward

21 27%

Your Highness (2011)

"As far as stoner comedies go, Your Highness might as well be smoking schwag with the Hooters bus boy you just bought it from."

Posted Apr 9, 2011

Mike Ward

22 92%

Source Code (2011)

"They might as well have set Source Code at Gobbler's Knob and queued up I Got You Babe every 10 minutes."

Posted Apr 3, 2011

Mike Ward

23 93%

Of Gods and Men (2011)

"When you think of monks, you might think of martyrdom, fresh baked bread, 24/7 hoodies, unrelenting devotion or Tony Shaloub. Well, what about balls and bravery?"

Posted Mar 30, 2011

Mike Ward

24 23%

Sucker Punch (2011)

"It's kinda like a poor-man's Inception, with much more cleavage and plot holes."

Posted Mar 30, 2011

Mike Ward

25 38%

Casino Jack (2010)

"Hollywood is getting obsessed with the growing financial porn genre, where white-collar criminals get fluffed by accounting firms and the slow-motion perp walk is the new money shot. They're exploitative, best watched alone, and let's admit"

Posted Mar 19, 2011

Mike Ward

26 80%

Barney's Version (2011)

"Barney's candor, free spirit and giant heart - which may actually be bigger than his liver - are eventually intoxicating."

Posted Mar 11, 2011

Mike Ward

27 35%

Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

"Alien invasion flick "Battle: Los Angeles" is basically a $100,000,000 recruitment video for the Marines that will help the Corps fill its ranks with gawky gamers who like laughably bad movies. Semper sigh."

Posted Mar 11, 2011

Mike Ward

28 72%

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

"When Facebook friends, credit histories and text message logs expose our every - and dictate 99 percent of our decision-making- "The Adjustment Bureau" has a point. Now you have a better excuse for losing your car keys than early-onset Alzheimer's."

Posted Mar 7, 2011

Mike Ward

29 85%

Cedar Rapids (2011)

"No mere fish out of water tale - more akin to scraping oceanic plankton off the back of a humpback whale and slapping it on the glittered midriffs of Chuck Sheen's poolside bevy of goddesses."

Posted Mar 4, 2011

Mike Ward

30 55%

Unknown (2011)

"It's all so damn exhausting - countless chase scenes sucked dry of suspense by repetition and the fact that clues are deposited less frequently Scott Baio's Charles in Charge residuals."

Posted Feb 19, 2011

Mike Ward

31 67%

The Company Men (2011)

"It's the kind of movie that rich, disconnected Hollywood filmmakers make about the recession, thinking they're committing some altruistic act of empathy for a nation struggling to pay the mortgage on its second home in Nantucket."

Posted Feb 13, 2011

Mike Ward

32 19%

Just Go with It (2011)

"There are fewer kicks to the groin (there are still a lot) and the potty humor is kept to a minimum, relatively speaking, of course. Metaphorically speaking, someone lit a match in Adam Sandler's bathroom."

Posted Feb 11, 2011

Mike Ward

33 30%

Sanctum (2011)

"The strong 3D visuals create a suffocating sense claustrophobia that makes you feel like you're locked in a closet at the DMV. But the characters are cardboard creations and the writing is less engrossing than faded cave drawings. "

Posted Feb 6, 2011

Mike Ward

34 93%

Another Year (2010)

"Another Year is two-plus hours of heavy dialogue and heavier uncomfortable silences. But if you can muddle through the tense moments, the pay-off is seeing one of the best written movies of the year. "

Posted Feb 1, 2011

Mike Ward

35 87%

Blue Valentine (2010)

"Rom-com haters finally got what they wanted: a brutally honest big-screen relationship on the rocks garnished with hickeys, regret, ripped panties, bruised chins and bruised egos."

Posted Jan 28, 2011

Mike Ward

36 49%

No Strings Attached (2011)

"No Strings Attached is a better movie than its title, trailer and Kutcherness suggest."

Posted Jan 23, 2011

Mike Ward

37 80%

Made in Dagenham (2010)

"I am woman, hear me roar! And by "roar," I mean drive the Ford Motor Company to such a slowdown that it just got passed in the left lane by Mr. Magoo on an exercise bike."

Posted Jan 21, 2011

Mike Ward

38 43%

The Green Hornet (2011)

"The Green Hornet smoked crack with Superman and met CraigsList chicks with Wolverine. He's a bad influence and a good time. And he's much more entertaining on screen, too."

Posted Jan 14, 2011

Mike Ward

39 10%

Season of the Witch (2011)

"It will probably be the worst reviewed movie of the year, it may break up couples mid-date night, and fraternities are sure to use it in tandem with contraband beverage Four Loko for Hell Week hazing. But come on, it's not that bad."

Posted Jan 8, 2011

Mike Ward

40 10%

Little Fockers (2010)

"I'm guessing there will be a fourth and a fifth "Meet the Parents" sequel: "Stepfockers," and "Tween Fockers" or maybe even "As Long as She's Your Second Cousin, You Can Still Focker." Who knows, or cares."

Posted Dec 26, 2010

Mike Ward

41 94%

The King's Speech (2010)

"In a 24-hour news cycle, it's hard to believe a man with the elocution of a Pet Rock could be crowned King of the World. But at a time when the phonograph was high-tech and British figureheads weren't doing karaoke with Elton John, it could happen."

Posted Dec 26, 2010

Mike Ward

42 87%

Black Swan (2010)

"Black Swan isn't the feel good movie of the year. Heck, you may need to pop three Zolofts afterward and go to a happy place. But at least your personal potential rock bottom will plummet several hundred feet afterward."

Posted Dec 18, 2010

Mike Ward

43 32%

How Do You Know (2010)

"Sometimes it's more jock than jocular. Occasionally, the camera lens lingers on Owen Wilson's crooked schnoz or Reese Witherspoon's prudish grimaces a bit too long. But it's is never too cute, except in omitting the question mark from its title."

Posted Dec 17, 2010

Mike Ward

44 20%

The Tourist (2010)

"Depp can't sell the "tourist" look. At the very worst, he looks like he could be working as a coffee kiosk barista at the Alitalia terminal in Rome's Leonardo Da Vinci Fiumicino Airport."

Posted Dec 10, 2010

Mike Ward

45 29%

The Warrior's Way (2010)

"Your first clue that you're about to see the worst flick of 2010 is the TWO Nicholas Cage trailers you endure before the movie even starts. "

Posted Dec 6, 2010

Mike Ward

46 93%

127 Hours (2010)

"Someone please chop down Tony Robbins' beanstalk. Then sic a shark to "hug" Dr. Phil. And spill a scalding bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul in the stupid chef's lap. Finally, America has a real deal, down-to-earth motivational icon."

Posted Dec 3, 2010

Mike Ward

47 78%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 (2010)

"We get to see the characters raw and frayed - almost junkie-like - without the saccharine pill coating that usually helps us swallow the bad stuff happening in Harry Potter Land."

Posted Nov 19, 2010

Mike Ward

48 98%

Inside Job (2010)

"I want to prank call Alan Greespan. I want to hire a barista to cold cock a former Lehman Brothers exec who retired at 42. Put down your plastic forks. Pick up your pitchforks. And follow me! We're marching on Washington, errrr, Wall Street. Same thing..."

Posted Nov 13, 2010

Mike Ward

49 55%

Morning Glory (2010)

"A movie about a morning news shows starring Diane Keaton and Harrison Ford? The actors are dinosaurs and the format is about to go extinct. Forget reviewing the movie, maybe I should be carbon dating it."

Posted Nov 12, 2010

Mike Ward