Authors

Bronsonfive

Rating Title | Year Quote Author
66%

Wristcutters - A Love Story (2007)

"Wristcutters: A Love Story is like a suicidal Wizard of Oz."

Michael Ferraro

25%

Drillbit Taylor (2008)

"It's a humorless PG-13 comedy aimed at middle school kids/some high school kids. Anyone else should stay at home and watch Over the Edge instead."

Michael Ferraro

14%

The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007)

"Just pop this movie on right before nap time and you got yourself a successful sleep aide."

Michael Ferraro

51%

Doomsday (2008)

"Let's just say that I've built more climactic medieval battles with a set of Legos during my childhood."

Michael Ferraro

79%

The Bank Job (2008)

"It's captivating, intriguing, and enjoyable throughout."

Michael Ferraro

21%

Semi-Pro (2008)

"Semi-Pro is a bad film, even by traditional Will Ferrell standards. The jokes constantly misfire, last too long, or try too hard to disgust."

Michael Ferraro

——

Pistol Whipped (2008)

"This whole picture actually feels like a deleted scene from some other Seagal film."

Michael Ferraro

42%

The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)

"The Other Boleyn Girl is almost too indescribable for words. It's one of the most visually boring films I've seen in some time."

Michael Ferraro

67%

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

"The screenplay was co-written by Anderson, Schwartzman and Roman Coppola, and it's clear they know what has worked in his previous efforts. They just couldn't escape the formula enough to try anything new."

Michael Ferraro

51%

30 Days of Night (2007)

"The end result is a dark, violent and thoroughly entertaining fright-fest in perfect spirit of its source material."

Michael Ferraro

66%

Be Kind Rewind (2008)

"Be Kind Rewind not only reminds us why we love film so damn much, it pays tribute to those films that may have had a hand in it."

Michael Ferraro

76%

Cidade dos Homens (City of Men) (2007)

"Imagine City of God by way of One Tree Hill and you got yourself City of Men."

Michael Ferraro

80%

American Gangster (2007)

"Steven Zallian (Gangs of New York) tackles the screenplay, which is based on an article by Mark Jacobson, and creates a captivating story with an otherwise basic premise."

Michael Ferraro

62%

Diary of the Dead (2007)

"We get that this is supposed to be from the perspective of a film major, but did Romero have to make it so painfully authentic?"

Michael Ferraro

16%

Jumper (2008)

"All scribes involved understand the superhero formula rather well and have fun presenting a familiar premise (that of transporting characters) into an entertaining ride. But perhaps it's all too familiar."

Michael Ferraro

80%

The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)

"An exciting and refreshing adventure that's shorter (and less melodramatic) than another Harry Potter film."

Michael Ferraro

35%

Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)

"You find yourself more enticed by the costumes, odd facial hair configurations, and crazy wigs more than anything else."

Michael Ferraro

20%

The Invasion (2007)

"Falls flat, bores, and practically kills any excitement the original story had to offer."

Michael Ferraro

22%

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins (2008)

"Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins is [Lawrence's] latest starring vehicle and yet another that drowns any comedic talents he once had with a cliché plot and hollow character arcs."

Michael Ferraro

76%

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

"The colors are lush, the scenery is breathtaking, and the compositions are flawlessly executed. You won't want to take your eyes from the screen even just to blink."

Michael Ferraro

22%

The Eye (2008)

"Just be prepared to suspend your disbelief a little more than usual."

Michael Ferraro

0%

Strange Wilderness (2008)

"It feels more like a compilation of skits from a failed comedy show."

Michael Ferraro

80%

Confusions of an Unmarried Couple ()

"The film has elements of Kevin Smith (Chasing Amy) and Woody Allen (Annie Hall); it just doesn't provide us with anything new."

Michael Ferraro

9%

The Comebacks (2007)

"This film shows us a lot of balls but fails to present any of its own."

Michael Ferraro

67%

Right at Your Door (2007)

"Right at Your Door provides a very tense experience for its short, 96-minute runtime; however, it still ends up letting you down. It's not nearly as paranoid as it tries to be."

Michael Ferraro

2%

Meet the Spartans (2008)

"It aims to be a so-called spoof of 300 but only succeeds at being a commercial for idiocy."

Michael Ferraro

37%

Rambo (Rambo IV) (2008)

"Rambo is exactly the film you want it to be. It has little dialogue, plenty of action, and a nice load of blood and guts splattered throughout."

Michael Ferraro

16%

Untraceable (2008)

"It's a tame version of Saw, aimed at middle-aged America, with the same lack of brains and appeal."

Michael Ferraro

36%

Sydney White (2007)

"Younger teenage girls will probably love this but anyone older or younger than that demographic is going to be pretty bored."

Michael Ferraro

77%

Cloverfield (2008)

"Think Blair Witch meets Godzilla, and since that isn't the first or last time you'll read that comparison, think of a movie that results in something less profound."

Michael Ferraro

5%

Good Luck Chuck (2007)

"Good Luck Chuck is the cinematic equivalent to a sexually-transmitted disease. It starts out unnoticeable, then starts to itch a little bit, before finally burning and blistering."

Michael Ferraro

93%

Le Scaphandre et le Papillon (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) (2007)

"Paralyzing to watch. At times, you're just as frustrated as Bauby; you want him to communicate, you want other people to understand what he is thinking, and above all, you want him to pull through it."

Michael Ferraro

40%

The Bucket List (2007)

"Thinking about taking a road trip with Nicholson and Freeman sounds like the best thing ever. Perhaps it would have been in a more serious, less light-hearted film."

Michael Ferraro

91%

There Will Be Blood (2007)

"It's like a version of Citizen Kane that Stanley Kubrick might have directed. But the film has enough to lay its own influence in the minds of future filmmakers to come."

Michael Ferraro

66%

Shoot 'Em Up (2007)

"It starts off with guns blazing and rarely pauses to reload. Shoot Em Up is definitely the Crank of 2007."

Michael Ferraro

51%

The Kingdom (2007)

"If you can help yourself from taking it too seriously, it's a predictably entertaining thrill ride that more than fills any appetite for explosions."

Michael Ferraro

12%

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (AVP 2) (2007)

"This isn't so much an Alien or Predator styled flick we were all hoping for. Instead, half of the plot plays out like a John Hughes nightmare circa 1988."

Michael Ferraro

——

American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007)

"American Pie Presents: Beta House will rock the world of idiotic high school and college students everywhere. It's tiresome, unfunny and more annoying than a drunken college freshman."

Michael Ferraro

86%

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

"Sweeney Todd is exactly the musical Burton fans have wished him to make. It's a bloody mess of vengeance and lost love, full of throat-slitting mayhem."

Michael Ferraro

94%

No Country for Old Men (2007)

"No Country for Old Men is the most brutal cinematic experience of the year, as well as one the best. It's nothing shy of an unforgettable masterpiece."

Michael Ferraro

88%

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007)

"It's powerfully crafted, intensely paced and brilliantly acted from all involved players, and a film that's easily [Lumet's] best since Network."

Michael Ferraro

94%

The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)

"[Bourne Ultimatum] is the most satisfying action picture of the year."

Michael Ferraro

83%

Atonement (2007)

"Fans of the original source material will definitely know what to expect here. The rest of us, who can't seem to connect to any of these characters (let alone care about them), can only marvel at the technical aspects of the film."

Michael Ferraro

36%

Reservation Road (2007)

"It's a gripping enough subject matter that isn't exactly given an engaging or focused enough screenplay to be as powerful as it so desperately strives for."

Michael Ferraro

89%

The Savages (2007)

"[Bosco's] performance as a senior going through the motions of aging is hypnotic, heartbreaking, and dead-on. It's the kind of performance awards were created for."

Michael Ferraro

94%

Juno (2007)

"Jason Reitman is shaping up to be quite the talented filmmaker. Just as he proved with his previous effort, Thank You for Smoking, the merging of comedic elements never offset the dramatic side."

Michael Ferraro

52%

Margot at the Wedding (2007)

"The aesthetics of the film are as chaotic as the characters themselves, as if the editor tried to mimic the style of the French New Wave movement without paying attention to the theoretical reasoning behind it."

Michael Ferraro

37%

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007)

"The world of children's literature continues to be raped by Hollywood and Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium is its latest victim."

Michael Ferraro

71%

Beowulf (2007)

"How can a film based on such a classic piece of literature, with the cache of talent behind it, be so drab?"

Michael Ferraro

33%

Tooth and Nail (2007)

"Tooth and Nail is part of the After Dark Horror series and like many of the other films under this label, it's just as forgettable."

Michael Ferraro

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