Topless Robot

Rating Title | Year Quote Author
1 55%

Tusk (2014)

"At its best, Tusk gives me hope that [Smith] can grow. At its worst, it makes me despair that he can't."

Posted Sep 11, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

2 28%

As Above/So Below (2014)

"That the Dowdles made me extremely uncomfortable in the right way attests to the fact that they know how to shoot a movie. They still need to prove that they can write a great one."

Posted Aug 29, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

3 46%

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

"Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is as Frank Miller-y as a Taliban whiskey enema"

Posted Aug 21, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

4 30%

Hook (1991)

"In the end, Hook isn't great or terrible, but it's both - a film that has some wonderful moments, and some really awful ones"

Posted Aug 18, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

5 20%

Into The Storm (2014)

"Hilariously, it's even positioned by movie's end as an educational film people risked their lives to make. And yet the only lesson learned here is that we can make CGI tornadoes look really cool now."

Posted Aug 7, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

6 19%

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

"The way people have been talking about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, you'd think Michael Bay directed it. After seeing it, you may wish he had. I did."

Posted Aug 4, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

7 92%

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

"With or without whatever comes next, Guardians of the Galaxy is a fully entertaining and visually overwhelming experience."

Posted Jul 29, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

8 58%

The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

"it finishes strongly, with the best character beats and far-out weird moments, mirroring, perhaps, the way some of us feel in the final moments of pulling an allnighter."

Posted Jul 17, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

9 90%

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes (2014)

"I can't say I didn't enjoy the ambition and the seriousness with which director Matt Reeves takes the potentially absurd material, but I will forewarn that "entertaining" may not be the word you're looking for here."

Posted Jul 9, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

10 92%

Frank (2014)

"What they've managed is a fair portrayal of group dynamics among weird, artsy types; that it doesn't venture onward to any further points is mitigated by the fact that it feels real, if not profound."

Posted Jun 18, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

11 92%

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

"As much as 3D detracted from, say, Man of Steel, so does it enhance How to Train Your Dragon 2. Call it How to Train Your Cranky Elders That 3D is Good Sometimes."

Posted Jun 13, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

12 ——

I Am Big Bird: The Caroll Spinney Story ()

"You'll probably be happy to know that, as per this Kickstarter-funded documentary, the man in the puffy yellow suit is just as kind and loving as the overgrown fowl he portrays"

Posted Jun 12, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

13 ——

Inner Demons (2014)

"...really sticks the landing with a finale you'll remember."

Posted Jun 12, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

14 95%

Snowpiercer (2014)

"...a fairy tale of sorts with darker motives, more violence than the Grimms would envision, and some nasty things to say about libertarianism versus control."

Posted Jun 12, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

15 84%

22 Jump Street (2014)

"...a movie that spends its entire second act trying to coast on a single joke; that joke being, "Ha ha! Those best friends are accidentally acting gay!""

Posted Jun 11, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

16 90%

Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

"Unlike many of the year's big-bang movies so far, it probably won't linger long in the memory. But then, not being any part of a larger franchise, it doesn't need to."

Posted Jun 3, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

17 33%

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

"In an odd way, this comedy western feels like the most personal creative work [MacFarlane]'s ever done."

Posted May 28, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

18 91%

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

"It's fun...but is it too much to ask for a more complicated plot that would merit this all-star line-up coming together for an allegedly epic event?"

Posted May 22, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

19 96%

Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht (Nosferatu the Vampyre) (1979)

"Nosferatu is at least as much a tribute to surrealist pioneer Luis Bunuel as it is to Murnau."

Posted May 18, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

20 73%

Godzilla (2014)

"[Gareth] Edwards has somehow morphed into the best directorial impersonation of a young Steven Spielberg I think I've ever seen."

Posted May 12, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

21 44%

Blood Glacier (2014)

"Decent gore, fun creatures and its high-concept premise make Blood Glacier an enjoyable night out"

Posted May 9, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

22 53%

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

"There's an incredible 40 minute 3D Imax sizzle reel hidden somewhere within this two-hour-plus misfire. "

Posted Apr 25, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

23 19%

Transcendence (2014)

"That the idea isn't new - rather, a rite of passage for HAL-9000, Data and every droid since - may be a demerit, but at least there is an idea."

Posted Apr 18, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

24 74%

Oculus (2014)

"Are you willing to put up with an otherwise excellent frightfest even if it limps to that finish line after sprinting for an hour-plus?"

Posted Apr 11, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

25 77%

Noah (2014)

"If you can avoid clinging to the literal in his movie and see the deeper emotional truths beneath, it just may move you to feel the pain of doing right, and embracing it anyway, not always knowing how far is too far."

Posted Mar 28, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

26 41%

Divergent (2014)

"Divergent is not the movie for me. But if you find yourself still stuck in an adolescent world of cliques, and think you're the only one who uniquely feels as you do - well, this may be empowering."

Posted Mar 19, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

27 79%

Muppets Most Wanted (2014)

"I laughed at the jokes, but I shrugged when it was over."

Posted Mar 13, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

28 93%

Journey To The West (2014)

"There's not an actor in this movie, from the leads down to the extras, who doesn't mug like crazy, and there's not a moment onscreen that isn't utterly ridiculous. That, however, was clearly the goal"

Posted Mar 7, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

29 42%

300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

"If you don't go for the 3-D Imax version, you're cheating yourself - the only point of this movie is to take everything over the top, and that should include the viewing experience"

Posted Mar 3, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

30 60%

Non-Stop (2014)

"I can't entirely recommend Non-Stop, but I'm also not completely immune to its charms."

Posted Feb 27, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

31 48%

RoboCop (2014)

"The new RoboCop is...not operating on the same masterful level as its source material. But unlike many, MANY other things associated with the RoboCop brand over the years, it also does not suck."

Posted Feb 12, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

32 95%

The LEGO Movie (2014)

"This is a toy story worthy to stand alongside Toy Story, and a guaranteed future classic."

Posted Feb 3, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

33 55%

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)

"While all involved talk a good game, this movie really is a bit of a toss-off, a disposable date movie to enjoy momentarily and then completely forget about."

Posted Jan 17, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

34 38%

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)

"Characters go outside! There are jokes! It's no longer about the problems of rich, white homeowners!"

Posted Jan 3, 2014

Luke Y. Thompson

35 14%

47 Ronin (2013)

"What sucks is that the production design and the creatures look really cool, and a quest narrative set in this world could have been a lot of fun."

Posted Dec 24, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

36 50%

The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty (2013)

"He's not a regular guy dreaming of being exciting - he's a formerly exciting kid who was forced to become boring. This is a pretty significant, fundamental change."

Posted Dec 20, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

37 80%

Saving Mr. Banks (2013)

"One can certainly object to the neat, three-act structure that this screen story shoehorns reality into, while pointing out that if the thing hooks you emotionally, it simply doesn't matter."

Posted Dec 17, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

38 74%

The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug (2013)

"As a fragmentary middle piece of something, it isn't complete unto itself, which makes final judgment hard. With that in mind, it is very fun to look at, especially in 3D."

Posted Dec 6, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

39 42%

Oldboy (2013)

"...s strong as it may be in some areas, this new version is still ultimately little more than a passable cover tune. But if it leads mainstream audiences to the real deal, I'm for it."

Posted Nov 26, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

40 89%

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

"While I get more joy watching my wife geek out on these movies than I do viewing them alone, there's not a lot of overall fault to find here unless you want to get into nerd-level nitpickery"

Posted Nov 20, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

41 76%

The Congress (2014)

"I'm impressed with this live-action/animated hybrid, but not as engaged as I'd hoped, though I'm pretty sure it merits further contemplation."

Posted Nov 15, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

42 65%

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

"It's not a stinker by any means - in a vacuum, this movie would be a perfectly serviceable fantasy film. But as a Marvel movie, it suggests that these things are becoming progressively more formulaic"

Posted Nov 4, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

43 60%

Ender's Game (2013)

"The folks who patronized Chick-fil-A as a political gesture may feel quite hoodwinked if they try to do likewise here."

Posted Oct 31, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

44 60%

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (2013)

"An entirely conventional filmed comedy with this pair could have worked, and I suspect a gonzo, Jackass-style montage would have been decent as well. Putting the two together results in a final product that's only half as good."

Posted Oct 25, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

45 49%

Escape Plan (2013)

"Arnold. Stallone. Hitting. Guns. Catchphrases. If you want more, keep holding your breath; for me, this is guy-movie junkfood far more rib-stickingly satisfying than either Expendables or The Last Stand."

Posted Oct 18, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

46 79%

Big Ass Spider! (2013)

"All the pacing of a classic monster movie is here, though director Mike Mendez is a bit more generous with revealing his carnivorous critter than some (I assume the budget was fairly small, but he gets value out of it)."

Posted Oct 18, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

47 56%

Escape From Tomorrow (2013)

"Disney's right to just ignore it; I wish I could advise you not to do the same."

Posted Oct 11, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

48 21%

The Seasoning House (2013)

"It's atmospheric and a tense journey, arguably not unlike Gravity if you were to replace the vacuum of space with a bunch of angry, accented dudes"

Posted Oct 9, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

49 ——

The Dead 2: India (2014)

"What fans of the book wanted from World War Z is gradually being delivered by Howard and Jon Ford's The Dead series"

Posted Oct 9, 2013

Luke Y. Thompson

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