Authors

Cinefantastique

Rating Title | Year Quote Author
1 20%

Devil Doll (1964)

"Although deliberately created to replicate the dummy episode from DEAD OF NIGHT, this black-and-white English production works tolerably well as a crude rip-off, thanks to a creepy dummy and creepier performance from Haliday as The Great Vorelli."

Posted Jul 26, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

2 71%

H.G. Wells' First Men in the Moon (1964)

"Despite its flaws, FIRST MEN IN THE MOON remains a charming entertainment that stirs our Sense of Wonder with its fantastic imagery..."

Posted Jul 26, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

3 96%

The LEGO Movie (2014)

"Everything is awesome! Well, not quite everything - but more than enough to make THE LEGO MOVIE the biggest and best surprise this year. "

Posted Jun 30, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

4 ——

The Living Skeleton (1969)

"This early example of a Japanese kaidan (ghost story) with a contemporary setting begins strong but gradually devolves into stupidity, as the scenario figuratively rips itself to shreds with a series of increasingly ridiculous plot twists. "

Posted Jun 30, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

5 40%

Incubo sulla cittą contaminata (Nightmare City) (Invasion by the Atomic Zombies) (1980)

"This profound subversion of our critical and aesthetic assumptions confronts us - like a logical paradox that seems both true and false - with a film that seems both awful and entertaining."

Posted Jun 24, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

6 60%

Dracula (1973)

"Dan Curtis' DRACULA is not the greatest adaptation of the classic novel, but it infuses some new blood into an old corpse drained of life by myriad prior film incarnations. "

Posted Jun 21, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

7 92%

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

"Unable to settle on any one story idea in particular, writer-director Dean DeBlois throws in three or four, which intersect at odd moments, like cars at a busy intersection, refusing to give the right of way, so that no one ends up going anywhere fast. "

Posted Jun 19, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

8 90%

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

"The financial failure of EDGE OF TOMORROW represents the greatest inverse relationship between quality and ticket sales since TWILIGHT sent breathless teen girls storming into theatres."

Posted Jun 19, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

9 ——

Samson Vs. The Vampire Women (Santo Vs. Las Mujeres Vampiro) (2002)

"Half masked wrestler movie, half vampire movie, this Mexican import is such a jumble of conflicting elements that the absurdity becomes quite entertaining. "

Posted Jun 13, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

10 54%

Salem: Season 1 (TV, 2014)

" ...an unholy hybrid of THE CRUCIBLE and THE SCARLET LETTER, lacking the sophistication of either, but with just enough dramatic interest to hold attention. "

Posted Jun 9, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

11 48%

Maleficent (2014)

"The goofiest filmed version of classic literature since THE SCARLET LETTER was "freely adapted" from Nathaniel Hawthorne in 1995"

Posted Jun 7, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

12 91%

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

"The most astoundingly okay movie so far this year - which is apparently all it takes to earn high praise these days."

Posted May 31, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

13 73%

Godzilla (2014)

"... invests its titular character with a Sense of Wonder that outweighs his mere bulk, lingering in the mind after that last building has toppled and the last roar has faded from the soundtrack."

Posted May 17, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

14 9%

Vampire Academy (2014)

"Makes TWILIGHT look good - something I never thought I would say about any movie ever - now please excuse me while I go wash my mouth out with soap."

Posted Feb 8, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

15 41%

Here Comes the Devil (2013)

"Fuses the grindhouse with the arthouse into an interesting but unsatisfying hybrid."

Posted Jan 30, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

16 11%

Argento's Dracula 3D (2013)

"...the film should be retitled "Dario Argento's Whatever Popped into My Head.""

Posted Jan 29, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

17 4%

I, Frankenstein (2014)

"Like watching someone else play a bad videogame."

Posted Jan 25, 2014

Steve Biodrowski

18 89%

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

"Thought it never truly catches fire, this two-and-a-half-hour sequel includes enough virtues to fill an entertaining ninety minutes."

Posted Nov 24, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

19 65%

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

"At least the Thor-Loki narrative thread is worth unwinding. Too bad it's twisted up with all the overblown blockbuster nonsense."

Posted Nov 8, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

20 49%

Carrie (2013)

"...almost a textbook case study in the pitfalls of remakes."

Posted Oct 21, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

21 38%

Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)

"INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 2 feels like a guided tour through a haunted house you have visited once too often: the scares come too seldom, and the guide keeps boring you with background details you don't really need to know."

Posted Sep 13, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

22 89%

The World's End (2013)

"Far from the crowning conclusion, the third serving of the Cornetto Trilogy melts slowly for 109 minutes, resolving into a gooey, sticky mess."

Posted Aug 23, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

23 12%

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)

"To watch this film is to gain a new level of identification with HAL 9000: as MORTAL INSTRUMENTS unspools before your eyes, you can feel your mind going...going...gone - until you find yourself humming a verse of "Daisy Bell.""

Posted Aug 22, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

24 78%

Monsters University (2013)

"It's a great message for children and a poignant reminder for adults: everyone has something to offer; the "cool" kids aren't always cool; and sometimes the underdog has his day."

Posted Jun 22, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

25 67%

World War Z (2013)

"The familiar zombie routine has never been realized on such an epic scale, but that is the film's only claim to novelty."

Posted Jun 21, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

26 55%

Hatchet III (2013)

"HATCHET III is almost as much gleefully gory fun as the original - a comedy-horror hybrid that elicits screams of laughter and disgust in equal measure..."

Posted Jun 20, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

27 70%

V/H/S/2 (2013)

"Hardcore horror junkies will get their fix; non-addicts will enjoy a hit or two but lament not getting a sustained high."

Posted Jun 19, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

28 55%

V/H/S (2012)

"Consistently intense but inconsistently satisfying ... in its attempt to pack relentlessly downbeat horror into 20-minute packages."

Posted Jun 18, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

29 83%

This Is the End (2013)

"If you think that being trapped with a bunch of guys telling dick jokes would the equivalent of Hell on Earth - well, according to THIS IS THE END, you are more right than you think."

Posted Jun 14, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

30 55%

Man of Steel (2013)

"Nolan, Snyder, Goyer, and company ground the Man of Steel in reality. But when something is grounded, can you expect it to soar?"

Posted Jun 14, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

31 36%

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

"... a perfect choice for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment, because much of it openly invites derision..."

Posted Jun 13, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

32 38%

The Purge (2013)

"By reconfiguring its old formula, Blumhouse Productions has crafted its best film in years, erasing memories of the terminally declining PARANORMAL ACTIVITY sequels and spin-offs. "

Posted Jun 7, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

33 ——

La noche de Walpurgis (The Werewolf Versus the Vampire Woman) (1971)

"It's the kind of film you enjoy late at night, especially after a few drinks, but you don't really respect it in the morning."

Posted Jun 6, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

34 24%

Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)

"The relative significance - or lack thereof - in the restored material will leave you wondering why certain scenes were deemed worthy of being included in the new cut while others were dumped into the "Recovered Files" bonus feature."

Posted Jun 6, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

35 11%

After Earth (2013)

"Jaden Smith (who was actually good in THE KARATE KID) winds up looking like a nervous child who, forced to play baseball by his father, strikes out with the bases loaded."

Posted May 31, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

36 ——

King of the Lost World (2005)

"If you have never heard of KING OF THE LOST WORLD, you're lucky - or at least you were, until you started reading this review."

Posted May 30, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

37 ——

Contaminated Man (Contagion) (2001)

"You have to give Contaminated Man credit for laying its cards on the table: as you might have guessed from the title, it is indeed about a contaminated man."

Posted May 29, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

38 64%

Epic (2013)

"...the most beautiful boring movie ever made."

Posted May 24, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

39 87%

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

"Though purists may disagree, Abrams' two Star Trek features rank atop their predecessors, eclipsing ... all but the best of the classic Star Trek films."

Posted May 17, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

40 16%

The Last Exorcism Part II (2013)

"You may not have paid for a ticket yet, but believe me, you have seen it all - in other, earlier - though not necessarily better - movies. "

Posted Mar 1, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

41 52%

Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)

"There's no magic in this beanstalk, and viewers foolish enough to spend money on tickets are likely to feel as cheated as Jack when told he's been swindled out of a horse and cart for a few worthless beans. "

Posted Mar 1, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

42 39%

Dark Skies (2013)

"Blumhouse Productions has codified its horror template to the point that their films are the cinematic equivalent of blues ... you will hear the same 12-bar chord progression, hitting the same beats..."

Posted Feb 24, 2013

Steve Biodrowski

43 64%

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

"Instead of simply adapting Tolkien's novel, Jackson has opted to use the story as a jumping off point for a convoluted prequel that threatens to do for Middle Earth what George Lucas's Star Wars prequels did for a galaxy far, far away."

Posted Dec 15, 2012

Steve Biodrowski

44 74%

Rise of the Guardians (2012)

"DreamWorks Animation - which minted a fortune by making animated fantasies that spoof and/or ridicule the traditional fairy tale foundation of the form - finally embrace its inner child, and the result is the company's greatest film to date..."

Posted Nov 21, 2012

Steve Biodrowski

45 49%

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012)

"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 won't win any converts to either Team Edward or Team Jacob, but it has enough appeal to extend beyond the hardcore fans who attend ritualistically as a form of tribal identifier..."

Posted Nov 17, 2012

Steve Biodrowski

46 92%

Skyfall (2012)

"Skyfall may not be another Casino Royale, but it ranks higher than almost anything else the franchise has had to offer for over a decade. "

Posted Nov 9, 2012

Steve Biodrowski

47 13%

Jack and Diane (2012)

"...teasing glimpses of horror merely pose as manifestations of an inner psychological turmoil that is nowhere else evident"

Posted Nov 8, 2012

Steve Biodrowski

48 50%

Vamps (2012)

"In Amy Herckerling's film, being a vampire is ordinary rather than remarkable - which pretty much describes VAMPS. "

Posted Nov 5, 2012

Steve Biodrowski

49 86%

Wreck-it Ralph (2012)

"The story pushes a heartfelt message, but the humorous antics are pitched at a strictly juvenile level that will have parents yawning while their children roar in approval."

Posted Nov 2, 2012

Steve Biodrowski

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