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News of the World

Rating Title | Year Quote Author
1 21%

Beastly (2011)

"Beauty And The Beast except with the lusty, gothic menace that makes that story interesting replaced by moany teenagers and crap acoustic guitar music. Or, in short, Dawson's Freak."

Posted Apr 24, 2011

Robbie Collin

2 77%

Thor (2011)

"A thuper Thoraway thuctheth."

Posted Apr 20, 2011

Robbie Collin

3 100%

TT3D Closer To The Edge (2011)

"You'd have to be a right helmet to miss it."

Posted Apr 16, 2011

Robbie Collin

4 90%

Winnie the Pooh (2011)

"A charming tale of a trouserless binge-eater who lives under a tree stump."

Posted Apr 16, 2011

Robbie Collin

5 26%

Arthur (2011)

"Enjoyably sweet, and the third act kicks you square in the emotion-goolies. "

Posted Apr 16, 2011

Robbie Collin

6 58%

Scream 4 (2011)

"The only real problem with Scream 4 - which won't be an issue for series fans - is that it's a bit too Screamy for its own good."

Posted Apr 16, 2011

Robbie Collin

7 77%

Fast Five (2011)

"Slow and spurious."

Posted Apr 16, 2011

Robbie Collin

8 27%

Your Highness (2011)

"Monsters, sword-fights, boobs AND laughter? Giveth this a ruddy Bafta."

Posted Apr 9, 2011

Robbie Collin

9 10%

Red Riding Hood (2011)

"The Red Riding Hood trailer was roundly mocked by some sceptics, who said it looked like Twilight in a puce cloak. A disgustingly cynical notion...that's turned out to be one hundred per cent correct."

Posted Apr 9, 2011

Robbie Collin

10 4%

The Roommate (2011)

"Bunk."

Posted Apr 9, 2011

Robbie Collin

11 37%

Mars Needs Moms (2011)

"Mars Needs To Work Out How To Animate Humans So They Don't Look Like Possessed Shop Window Dummies."

Posted Apr 9, 2011

Robbie Collin

12 72%

Rio (2011)

"95-odd minutes of full-blown, big-screen bliss."

Posted Apr 3, 2011

Robbie Collin

13 85%

Essential Killing (2012)

"The film's nowhere near as clever as it thinks it is. Gallo starts as an extremist nutjob, killing for his beliefs - but turns into a hungry maniac, killing to stay on the run. Does the film draw a fascinating comparison between the two? No."

Posted Apr 3, 2011

Robbie Collin

14 57%

Blooded ()

"The young cast are a game bunch - especially when it comes to the being dumped in the Highlands in their undies bit."

Posted Apr 3, 2011

Robbie Collin

15 71%

Oranges And Sunshine (2011)

"The film rightly draws attention to a horrible event in history. But unfortunately that's all it does - and a decent documentary could have done exactly the same, much more nimbly."

Posted Apr 3, 2011

Robbie Collin

16 64%

Tomorrow, When the War Began (2012)

"The original book was praised for nailing the way teenagers think and speak. Unfortunately, that's not been carried over to the screen version - unless the teenagers you know think and speak like saucer-eyed chumps reading their emotions off an autocue."

Posted Apr 3, 2011

Robbie Collin

17 55%

Killing Bono (2011)

"I've not been this disappointed by a movie's title since that Penelope Cruz film Blow turned out to be about a drug dealer."

Posted Mar 27, 2011

Robbie Collin

18 70%

Limitless (2011)

"You almost feel yourself getting smarter as you watch. Remember how you felt sitting through Transformers 2? Kind of the opposite of that."

Posted Mar 27, 2011

Robbie Collin

19 23%

Sucker Punch (2011)

"Looks a lot like either a very stupid person has tried to make a very clever film, or a very clever person has tried to make a very stupid one."

Posted Mar 27, 2011

Robbie Collin

20 25%

Hop (2011)

"Looks suspiciously like a cack Santa flick in which the fat red guy's been switched with a talking rabbit."

Posted Mar 27, 2011

Robbie Collin

21 95%

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2011)

""Are we truly the crocodiles who look back into the abyss of time?" asks Herzog. Good question. And after thinking about the answer for a while, I'm gonna have to go with my gut instinct. "Eh?" "

Posted Mar 20, 2011

Robbie Collin

22 15%

Anuvahood ()

"Anuvahood's so funny, I even laughed at Richard Blackwood's bit."

Posted Mar 20, 2011

Robbie Collin

23 22%

Country Strong (2011)

"This enjoyably OTT drama-with-songs-in-it was monstered in January by American reviewers, who were maybe expecting a highbrow, subtle and meditative drama in which Gwyneth Paltrow is an alcoholic banjo player."

Posted Mar 20, 2011

Robbie Collin

24 83%

The Lincoln Lawyer (2011)

"Haller's a twerp, he's a twonk, he's a slick-haired smoothie who plays by the "doesn't play by the rules" rules to the letter. "

Posted Mar 20, 2011

Robbie Collin

25 80%

Wake Wood (2011)

"An instant folk horror classic."

Posted Mar 20, 2011

Robbie Collin

26 39%

The Eagle (2011)

"SINCE the early days of cinema, great actors have found immortality by playing heroes of the Roman Empire. Charlton Heston, Richard Burton...and now the dormouse-eyed, muscly fella from a couple of dance films and that cack GI Joe thing. "

Posted Mar 20, 2011

Robbie Collin

27 34%

Hall Pass (2011)

"Hall fail."

Posted Mar 13, 2011

Robbie Collin

28 46%

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)

"You will dislike this rubbish movie."

Posted Mar 13, 2011

Robbie Collin

29 35%

Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

"Feels less like a movie than the action scenes clipped out of one."

Posted Mar 13, 2011

Robbie Collin

30 79%

Chalet Girl (2011)

"Exactly the kind of funny, sunshiny, teen-skewed romcom that Britain normally struggles to make."

Posted Mar 13, 2011

Robbie Collin

31 86%

Submarine (2011)

"Das Beaut."

Posted Mar 13, 2011

Robbie Collin

32 74%

Norwegian Wood (2012)

"You know me: I'm flamin' ALWAYS in the mood for 2 1/4 hard-going hours of sex and crying. And if it's in Japanese, so much the better."

Posted Mar 5, 2011

Robbie Collin

33 37%

The Resident (2012)

"The Resident clocks in at a lean 91 minutes, yet I'd rather have had a longer film if it meant the bizarre gaps in the plot were plugged."

Posted Mar 5, 2011

Robbie Collin

34 79%

Fair Game (2010)

"It's never clear whether Sean Penn is aware just how annoying his character is - or if he genuinely thinks his finger-wagging smug- sack act is sympathetic."

Posted Mar 5, 2011

Robbie Collin

35 30%

The Tempest (2010)

"Lost for a***holes."

Posted Mar 5, 2011

Robbie Collin

36 55%

Unknown (2011)

"Liam Neeson deserves a huge pat on the back for reinventing himself as the most violent middle-aged man in Hollywood. I'm just not gonna be the man to do it. As I'd probably pull back a stump."

Posted Mar 5, 2011

Robbie Collin

37 21%

The Rite (2011)

"Like many other bang-average exorcism movies, it follows a doubting man of God who rediscovers his faith, sharpish, when faced with a swivel-eyed grunter cracking their limbs and bellowing about Satan."

Posted Feb 27, 2011

Robbie Collin

38 68%

West Is West (2011)

"Ekes some gentle yuks out of culture clashes and father-son strife."

Posted Feb 27, 2011

Robbie Collin

39 43%

Ironclad (2011)

"THERE comes a time in every great movie-watching experience where a special little moment in the film makes you smile with purest joy. For me, in Ironclad, it was the bit where a guy tears another guy's arm off then beats him to death with it."

Posted Feb 27, 2011

Robbie Collin

40 88%

Rango (2011)

"Spoofs such kiddie favourites as Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, the mystical writings of Carlos Castaneda, and Sergio Leone's Dollars trilogy."

Posted Feb 27, 2011

Robbie Collin

41 72%

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

"You've got to admire the way it reins in the action sequences and concentrates on character development instead - something that's about as common in Hollywood as a bum bag made out of unicorn fur."

Posted Feb 27, 2011

Robbie Collin

42 97%

Animal Kingdom (2010)

"Everyone flapping their traps about the "Oscar-calibre performances" in The Fighter - simmer down for a minute, will ya? Cos THIS is how you do a dirtball family."

Posted Feb 21, 2011

Robbie Collin

43 49%

No Strings Attached (2011)

"Problems range from howlingly obvious flaws like the foul, Knocked Up-wannabe script, to almost undetectable nuisances like the way Kutcher never signals when he's turning into a side street or driveway."

Posted Feb 21, 2011

Robbie Collin

44 45%

Drive Angry (2011)

"They say what you see in Nicolas Cage's hair is a reflection of your own soul. To me, it looks a bit like a giant, microwaved wombat slipping off the top of St Paul's Cathedral."

Posted Feb 21, 2011

Robbie Collin

45 33%

I Am Number Four (2011)

"I Am Number Four is a film about a teenage boy who discovers his hands wield a very special power. (Aye. We've all been there, son.)"

Posted Feb 21, 2011

Robbie Collin

46 64%

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (2011)

"Before seeing Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D, I honestly couldn't have cared whether Justin Bieber lived or got mown down by a lorry. But now, I'm unapologetically sold on the guy. "

Posted Feb 17, 2011

Robbie Collin

47 80%

Confessions (Kokuhaku) (2010)

"While it might turn off awards voters, its strange, icy beauty will win it a fair few fans among the black-nail-polish mob. "

Posted Feb 14, 2011

Robbie Collin

48 98%

Inside Job (2010)

"Praise be for Inside Job, which crunches the credit crunch into 1hr 45mins of easily digestible fact biscuits, fed to you one by one by narrator Matt Damon."

Posted Feb 14, 2011

Robbie Collin

49 5%

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011)

"It's amazing really, when you look back at the Big Momma's House film series, how many major crimes can be solved by dressing up as a fat woman."

Posted Feb 14, 2011

Robbie Collin

50 19%

Just Go with It (2011)

"Isn't so much scraping the bottom of the barrel as hurtling through the bottom of the barrel at Mach five, straight towards the planet's molten core."

Posted Feb 14, 2011

Robbie Collin

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