Rating Title | Year Quote Author
1 62%

Evil Dead (2013)

"The most fun I've had all year trying not to vomit."

Posted Apr 2, 2013

Brian Juergens

2 65%

Mama (2013)

"At long last, Vicki Lawrence is robbed of her title of Most Terrifying Mama - though it stumbles in its final scenes, this slow-burn creepfest offers a few fresh scares."

Posted Jan 17, 2013

Brian Juergens

3 84%

My Week with Marilyn (2011)

"Williams' captivating performance generates the unearthly glow of something too beautiful and too fragile to grasp. It also may have knocked a few points off my Kinsey rating."

Posted Nov 18, 2011

Brian Juergens

4 30%

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)

"Cheap, repetitive, and dull. It's like being forced to watch the same Three Stooges gag over and over until someone finally farts in your face and lets you go home."

Posted Oct 7, 2011

Brian Juergens

5 84%

Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2011)

"While its subversion of the well-worn "hillbilly horror" genre may be a one-note gag, that note is played pretty durn well. A clever, bloody, and unexpectedly sweet romp."

Posted Sep 29, 2011

Brian Juergens

6 73%

Night of the Eagle (Burn, Witch, Burn! ) (1962)

"An odd, stylish, and completely absorbing witchcraft-in-the-suburbs oddity that puts hexes into the hands of academics and university wives."

Posted Sep 9, 2011

Brian Juergens

7 17%

Shark Night 3D (2011)

"How delicious would it be if we were to look back and find that the current lousy 3D trend "jumped the shark" with a film that actually features jumping sharks?"

Posted Sep 6, 2011

Brian Juergens

8 58%

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011)

"If you aren't generally scared by CGI goblins who whisper a lot, the title's warning is sadly unneeded - you won't be afraid of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark."

Posted Aug 25, 2011

Brian Juergens

9 61%

Final Destination 5 (2011)

"Thanks to solid suspense and a clever resolution, FD5 is more fun than watching household objects conspire to brutally murder disaaster survivors (in 3D!) has any right to be."

Posted Aug 11, 2011

Brian Juergens

10 90%

Attack the Block (2011)

"That the film treats marginalized youths with real respect while delivering such a raucous and inventive spin on horror comedy is the most welcome kind of cinematic miracle."

Posted Jul 28, 2011

Brian Juergens

11 96%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 (2011)

"That both the beloved characters and the film series itself manage to emerge victorious from the fray after over 10 years is truly something to celebrate."

Posted Jul 14, 2011

Brian Juergens

12 69%

Horrible Bosses (2011)

"It may be 9 to 5 stripped of its feminist bite and much of its dark potential, but it's still a fun ride through the sketchier neighborhoods of the working man's mind."

Posted Jul 7, 2011

Brian Juergens

13 79%

Non si deve profanare il sonno dei morti (Let Sleeping Corpses Lie) (Don't Open the Window) (1974)

"Scenic settings, guts, and a residual contact high from the counterculture movement converge in one of the zombie genre's most unique and enjoyable entries."

Posted Jun 22, 2011

Brian Juergens

14 26%

Green Lantern (2011)

"Reynolds is a charismatic lead, but the filmmakers miss the mark by making all the outer space stuff seem cartoony and the story on Earth cornball and dull. "

Posted Jun 16, 2011

Brian Juergens

15 82%

Super 8 (2011)

"If you grew up a horror nut in the Midwest, Super 8 might feel like a missing page from your childhood. And if not, well ... that train crash is still pretty mint."

Posted Jun 13, 2011

Brian Juergens

16 90%

Bridesmaids (2011)

"A bawdy, riotous godsend for folks who wanted to like The Hangover but just couldn't bring themselves to root for such an annoying box of a**holes."

Posted May 13, 2011

Brian Juergens

17 77%

Thor (2011)

"The effects are great, the tone is surprisingly playful, and Hemsworth pours on the charm as the most clueless hulking blonde since Dog the Bounty Hunter."

Posted May 11, 2011

Brian Juergens

18 No Score Yet

Devil Within Her (2011)

"Stock your bar and put in your IUD, because this hilariously over-the-top Rosemary's Baby knockoff wants to get you pregnant with its ridiculous brilliance."

Posted Apr 29, 2011

Brian Juergens

19 58%

Scream 4 (2011)

"Bright, bloody and enjoyable, and completely worth seeing when you stand back and look at what the filmmakers have done to subvert a beloved but played-out genre."

Posted Apr 20, 2011

Brian Juergens

20 27%

Your Highness (2011)

"After the first 15 laughless minutes, I heard my hopes tinkle to the ground like the lifeless shells of so many fairies struck dead from lack of applause."

Posted Apr 7, 2011

Brian Juergens

21 66%

Insidious (2011)

"If Polgergeist is the Disneyland Mansion of spookhouse movies, Insidious is a small-town Haunted Hayride, filled with low-fi jumps and punctuated with giggles."

Posted Mar 29, 2011

Brian Juergens

22 23%

Sucker Punch (2011)

"Its awkwardly embedded message of female empowerment fails to overcome the fact that it is ultimately a big, dumb, loud genre mashup coming soon to a "man cave" near you."

Posted Mar 24, 2011

Brian Juergens

23 68%

Black Death (2011)

"Sean Bean completists and fans of neck-beards will no doubt enjoy, but overall Black Death an atmospheric but ultimately unaffecting exercise in medieval misery."

Posted Mar 18, 2011

Brian Juergens

24 10%

Red Riding Hood (2011)

"While it may be little more than a Disney princess movie with a body count, I'd take this goofy period whodunit over brooding vampires and modern teen angst any day."

Posted Mar 11, 2011

Brian Juergens

25 80%

I Saw the Devil (2011)

"With this operatically gory serial killer epic, Ji-Woon Kim may prove once and for all that revenge is a dish best served with a side of kimchi."

Posted Mar 4, 2011

Brian Juergens

26 No Score Yet

All About Evil ()

"This scrappy, campy horror comedy shows a clear affection for the cinematic tradition that fortunately doesn't supersede a clear desire to play with its entrails."

Posted Feb 25, 2011

Brian Juergens

27 72%

We Are What We Are (2011)

"With its sly message of self-empowerment in the face of overwhelming odds, this is pretty much the Mexico City Pride float of Mexican gay cannibal movies."

Posted Feb 17, 2011

Brian Juergens

28 59%

Kaboom (2011)

"Is it wrong to wish that Araki had taken the care to bring his audience to at least one of the multiple climaxes enjoyed by his characters?"

Posted Feb 7, 2011

Brian Juergens

29 30%

Sanctum (2011)

"As exciting as a rainy fishing trip with your two uncles who have been bickering since adolescence and manage to ruin everyone's Christmas every single year."

Posted Feb 4, 2011

Brian Juergens

30 21%

The Rite (2011)

"What starts out as a promisingly deadpan supernatural drama quickly devolves into The Exorcism of Charlie Rose"

Posted Jan 28, 2011

Brian Juergens

31 No Score Yet

Le Foto di Gioia (Delirium: Photo of Gioia) (Photos of Joy) (1987)

"A typical giallo exercise in lurid misogyny, it does also affer hallucinations, incest, photo sessions, and more peach paint and lucite furniture than you can shake Miami at."

Posted Jan 26, 2011

Brian Juergens

32 31%

Night of the Demons (2010)

"A handful of recognizable faces, fair amount of ghoulishness, and peppy can-do attitude can't match the cheese-fueled charm of the faulted-but-fun original."

Posted Jan 6, 2011

Brian Juergens

33 87%

Blue Valentine (2010)

"The brown-bag movie of the year: Sneak in a bottle of something bitter and cheap (to match the central characters) and get smashed along with the onscreen relationship."

Posted Dec 30, 2010

Brian Juergens

34 89%

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

"An enthusiastically deranged family adventure gussied up in a Christmas sweater, Rare Exports is a welcome addition to the Warped Holiday Movie canon."

Posted Dec 1, 2010

Brian Juergens

35 87%

Black Swan (2010)

"An intense study akin to the equally exhausting The Wrestler that seems determined to catch Nina (Portman, in a stunning performance) break character - or worse."

Posted Nov 30, 2010

Brian Juergens

36 No Score Yet

Mirrors 2 (2010)

"Can I say with a straight face that this is a good movie? No. But I will say that I found this direct-to-video sequel more creative and entertaining than the original."

Posted Nov 24, 2010

Brian Juergens

37 78%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 (2010)

"Fans will enjoy the dark, brooding, gorgeous penultimate film of one of the most solid genre series ever. Casual observers will likely be confused as hell or bored silly. "

Posted Nov 17, 2010

Brian Juergens

38 33%

Candyman 2 - Farewell to the Flesh (1994)

"Maybe "Farewell to the Franchise" would have been a more appropriate title - this retread of the very scary original is a mildly hilarious mess."

Posted Nov 3, 2010

Brian Juergens

39 46%

Hereafter (2010)

"A trio of thinly-drawn narratives that combine into one triply disappointing mega-"meh", it doesn't so much ask questions about the afterlife as threaten to."

Posted Oct 14, 2010

Brian Juergens

40 15%

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

"Like many horror fans, I approached viewing the recent remake of the post-slasher classic with extremely low expectations. Not low enough, though!"

Posted Oct 13, 2010

Brian Juergens

41 88%

Let Me In (2010)

"Both suitably reverential to the excellent Swedish original and entirely successful as a work of authentic American horror. Smart, scary, and heartbreaking."

Posted Oct 1, 2010

Brian Juergens

42 36%

Hatchet II (2010)

"When it comes to homages to the golden age of American slashers, Hatchet II is twice the hatchet job of the original."

Posted Sep 30, 2010

Brian Juergens

43 81%

Catfish (2010)

"They've had success marketing horror movies as documentaries lately, so why not sell a documentary as a horror film? Well ... because it's not."

Posted Sep 17, 2010

Brian Juergens

44 82%

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

"A frenzied 8-bit orgy of video game action, fuzzed-out rock and roll, and candyshop color. I entered the theater a man and left it a sugarbombed teenage girl. With a beard."

Posted Aug 11, 2010

Brian Juergens

45 86%

Inception (2010)

"The good news is, I'm not going to give away any of the mind-bending twists at the center of Inception. The bad news is, that's because there aren't any."

Posted Jul 16, 2010

Brian Juergens

46 74%

Splice (2010)

"The core strength of this gooey, schizophrenic horror satire is its ability to be simultaneously quite clever and unrepentantly trashy."

Posted Jun 4, 2010

Brian Juergens

47 47%

MacGruber (2010)

"When your audience is laughing at soundtrack selections more often than they laugh at the dialogue or sight gags, you gotta know you messed up somewhere..."

Posted May 21, 2010

Brian Juergens

48 49%

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2010)

"Misanthropes, scat queens and fans of lowbrow humor will find plenty to enjoy in this gory kink oddity, though it never lives up to the ghoulishness of its central conceit."

Posted Apr 27, 2010

Brian Juergens

49 95%

Best Worst Movie (2010)

"I never thought I'd be able to justify having seen the insanely bad Troll 2, but this scrappy documentary about fame and failure provides a perfectly charming excuse."

Posted Apr 12, 2010

Brian Juergens