Movie Eye

Rating Title | Year Quote Author
77%

Tadpole (2002)

57%

Die Another Day (2002)

——

Treasure Island (1998)

19%

Obsessed (2009)

"[An] uninspired, generic psycho-chick flick...Puerile and simplistic in its synthetic gimmickry, Obsessed oozes nothing but contempt and a cornball solution for exploiting the repetitive misogynist melodramas"

Frank Ochieng

56%

The Soloist (2009)

"Although ambitious in its lyrical presentation, filmmaker Joe Wright's The Soloist plays a stale tune of cliched melancholy musical chairs."

Frank Ochieng

55%

17 Again (2009)

"It must have taken the powers-that-be a brief 20-minute lunch session over a stale roast beef sandwich to conceive this woefully derivative teen comedy"

Frank Ochieng

87%

Earth (Disneynature's Earth) (Planet Earth) (2009)

"Enriching, informative and noteworthy, Earth explores the wonderment of our neighboring species and the behavioral observations that ensue in glorified curiosity."

Frank Ochieng

64%

Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)

"Brash, outrageously inane and chaotically crafty, Crank 2: High Voltage is unapologetic in its sheer penchant for graphic-induced ribaldry as its charismatic calling card."

Frank Ochieng

0%

Super Capers (2009)

"[A] woefully toothless send-up of superhero silliness. Indeed, Super Capers is in need of its own creative rescuing."

Frank Ochieng

43%

Race to Witch Mountain (2009)

"In the long run, one would be advised to walk slowly and sluggishly, not race hurriedly, to the so-called new and improved findings at weak-kneed Witch Mountain."

Frank Ochieng

34%

Alien Trespass (2009)

"...gently wacky. Although breezy and sketchy on the easy laughs at times, Alien Trespass does promise to entertain for the sole purpose of its campy off-kilter makeup."

Frank Ochieng

64%

Watchmen (2009)

"A nearly 3-hour orgy of orchestrated violent vibrancy designed to perpetuate a whole new appreciation for ambitious, unconventional superhero expositions. Robustly confrontational and impishly raw."

Frank Ochieng

72%

Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

"Monsters vs. Aliens still packs a sufficient amount of jolting jocularity that is sure to satisfy the entertaining mindsets of youngsters and oldsters alike...a zesty escapist treat"

Frank Ochieng

14%

Dragonball Evolution (2009)

"Wong's noxious narrative is nothing more than a hyperactive hackjob that may appease some 10-year old boy grasping his Jackie Chan action figure. [A] cobbled-together canker soar of a fantasy"

Frank Ochieng

51%

Observe and Report (2009)

"Hill's lopsided laugher is bizarrely charming and frothy in its impishness of impropriety...Roguishly appalling but unapologetic in its mindlessness..."

Frank Ochieng

44%

Hannah Montana: The Movie (2009)

"...plays like a cornball extension of Miley's terminally cutesy televised vehicle. Sadly, it's not the best of both worlds for Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana in this jagged juvenile farce."

Frank Ochieng

98%

Anvil! The Story of Anvil (2009)

"Gervasi uncovers the obscurity blanket from [these] veteran Canadian metal rockers and gives them a cinematic salute in the outrageously entertaining Anvil!"

Frank Ochieng

88%

El Baņo del Papa (The Pope's Toilet) (2007)

"Although not the best imaginative movie title ever to grace a matinee sign, The Pope's Toilet resonates with a distinctive warmth and sense of reality and purpose."

Frank Ochieng

88%

Adventureland (2009)

"...a refreshing take on "the teen turmoil scene" where the uncertainty and inherent fear of a gifted mind is explored with the legitimacy of doubt and disappointment."

Frank Ochieng

27%

Fast & Furious (2009)

"...pretty much contains the same high-octane hollow hedonism that has run through this routinely noisy, frenetic film franchise...this speeding-wheel spectacle has all the charm and intrigue of a shopping mall speed bump."

Frank Ochieng

83%

I Love You, Man (2009)

"Indeed, there is every reason to "man-up" in warped and witty I Love You, Man that plays like a screwy The Odd Couple in a millennium zoned-out state of arrested development."

Frank Ochieng

29%

12 Rounds (2009)

"Preposterous in its perverse practicality, 12 Rounds flexes its cheapened muscles more than its monosyllabic star Cena does in a 20-minute match-up on Monday Night Raw."

Frank Ochieng

95%

Goodbye Solo (2009)

"An emotional lullaby about lost diverse souls trying to cope with the rigors of life in a confining, cultural cage of ambivalence...another tantalizing triumph for Bahrani"

Frank Ochieng

93%

Happy-Go-Lucky (2008)

"Roguishly insightful and quietly riveting, Happy-Go-Lucky is innocuously entertaining in its free-wheeling spirit...methodically merry-minded and meaningful..."

Frank Ochieng

51%

What Just Happened? (2008)

"Although slightly scathing in its cynical look at highly paid Hollywood hacks rambunctiously jumping through artistic creative hoops, Happened is impishly on the spot in its aimless ribbing at movie wheeling-and-dealing madness."

Frank Ochieng

100%

The Order of Myths (2008)

"[An] affectingly insightful and well-informed documentary. Myths taps into a special kind of Southern tradition%u2014with underlying racial overtones as a societal hovering factor."

Frank Ochieng

94%

Milk (2008)

"Both triumphant and vastly disturbing, Van Sant's Milk is a penetrating portrait of an unconventional political figurehead immersed in the chaotic struggles of his defining times"

Frank Ochieng

79%

Flow: For Love of Water (2008)

"Although meandering at times, Flow is still a serviceable documentary spouting daunting informational facts and figures about the freshwater supply threats and the perilous consequences that inevitably follow."

Frank Ochieng

98%

The Wrestler (2008)

"Aronofsky has devised one of the most gritty and intensely authentic sports flicks in recent memory. Rourke is absorbingly raw and reflective...deeply affecting in its razor-like observations"

Frank Ochieng

70%

Last Chance Harvey (2009)

"Charmingly perceptive and gently elegant in wit and warmth...Last Chance Harvey is quirky and quiet while boasting steady performances by leads Hoffman and Thompson."

Frank Ochieng

94%

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (2008)

"Long after the credits roll one will be rendered both empty and lifted by a bewildered family's sudden forbidden journey into the abyss of emotional darkness."

Frank Ochieng

25%

Four Christmases (2008)

"Letting the hulking Vince Vaughn near a Christmas movie is just like giving a knife to your crazy drunken uncle during a seasonal family gathering--it's reckless, pointless and ultimately foolish in concept."

Frank Ochieng

94%

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

"...adventurous and exuberantly triumphant. Clearly, this underdog rags-to-riches saga percolates in originality and blistering spirit...fascinatingly lyrical and mischievous"

Frank Ochieng

49%

Twilight (2008)

"Twilight sparkles for its intended audience of indiscriminate adolescent females. However, it will only be deemed as a softened, hackneyed horror show of synthetic affection for the rest of us."

Frank Ochieng

85%

Wendy and Lucy (2008)

"[A] thoroughly contemplative and reflective small scale feature. Tender and relentlessly subdued in its low-key poignancy...quaint yet [a] gut-wrenching narrative."

Frank Ochieng

44%

Soul Men (2008)

"Awkwardly sentimental but nevertheless sharply spry in song and sass, Lee's acid-tongued Soul Men certainly have something to sing about."

Frank Ochieng

77%

Role Models (2008)

"Wain's loopy-minded laugher does carry some credible distinction as being somewhat earnest within its snappy, obnoxious boundaries."

Frank Ochieng

86%

I.O.U.S.A. (2008)

"[A] timely documentary...There is a sense of urgency that propels Creadon's cautionary narrative as an alarming wake-up call to financial discipline."

Frank Ochieng

89%

The Visitor (2008)

"Uplifting and undeniably winning in its perceptive landscape, The Visitor is no stranger to compelling filmmaking rooted in gentleness and inspirational fortitude"

Frank Ochieng

22%

The Tuxedo (2002)

41%

Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008)

"The terminally cutesy Chihuahua is just another demonstratively derivative kids' narrative that barks up the wrong creative tree...[a] forgettable fleabag farce..."

Frank Ochieng

11%

An American Carol (2008)

"Overall, Zucker's cinematic middle finger is about as funny as an exploding toilet seat for hemorrhoid-induced senior citizens...a dreary picture mired in sophomoric sludge."

Frank Ochieng

26%

Eagle Eye (2008)

"Eagle Eye's simplistic and colorful contrivance is oddly refreshing in its preposterous exuberance...a transparent treat at best. Thoroughly rollicking and roguish..."

Frank Ochieng

30%

Nights in Rodanthe (2008)

"...[A] moping melodramatic malaise. Ridiculously artificial in its Cupid-driven cornucopia of sketchy endearment. [Rodanthe] has the forceful flair of an unlit wax candle."

Frank Ochieng

14%

My Best Friend's Girl (2008)

"Raunchy and wretched...profoundly unfunny and sophomoric sludge...meaningless material that wouldn't be suitable for lining your pet parrot's birdcage."

Frank Ochieng

48%

Towelhead (2007)

"...[A] shocking and subversive coming-of-age melodrama. Perceptively blunt and incendiary, Towelhead is one of the most challenging cinematic efforts of the year."

Frank Ochieng

85%

Ghost Town (2008)

"Koepp strangely captures the cheeky charm and chippy imagination of Ghost Town that could have been deemed just another faceless formulaic fantasy."

Frank Ochieng

45%

Lakeview Terrace (2008)

"...conventional but compellingly caustic...LaBute's excitable exposition is passable enough to sustain the manufactured intrigue and tension"

Frank Ochieng

13%

The Women (2008)

"Lame and saturated in the dour makeup of an afternoon soap opera, The Women is a transparent chick flick standing on its shaky high heels without much support."

Frank Ochieng

51%

The Family That Preys (2008)

"Overstuffed and self-indulgent...The Family That Preys is nothing more than a busy-minded, shifty soap opera propelled by its empty-minded sense of indignation."

Frank Ochieng

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