"And Lots of Security..." is the 156th episode of Desperate Housewives.
Gabrielle grows more and more concerned over the mysterious man who has been keeping a close eye on her, and decides it is time to get a gun for protection. Meanwhile, Lynette and Tom attempt to put the spark back into their marriage by spending a few days alone together at a romantic B&B, but they soon find themselves trying to avoid at all costs being alone together after all. Bree begins to suspect that her new boyfriend might be gay, and, after being placed under arrest for allegedly poisoning Paul, Susan must convince the police that she was being framed for the deed by Felicia Tilman.
Detective Hank Powell enters the questioning room where Susan is sitting and asks that she states her name and age for the record. Susan is unwilling to give him her real age, claiming she's 38, after learning she's not under oath. The detective tells her he doesn't think she appreciates the seriousness of the situation she's gotten herself into. She could have killed someone at her old school. Susan defends herself, saying she didn't poison the cookies, Felicia did, even though she was the one baking them. The detective takes this to mean that they had an arrangement with one another, Susan baked, Felicia sprinkled with poison. However, Susan claims she had no idea of what was going on, Felicia alone was trying to murder Paul. The detective asks her if she simply delivered the poisoned food, to which Susan replies "Exactly", only afterwards realizing of what that sound like. She insists she had no idea the food was being poisoned, she only found out with the cookies. Susan tells the detective to have a talk with Felicia, because she hated Paul, but Hank says he knows Susan had motives to hate Paul too, considering he was responsible for the riot that cost her a kidney and he pulled the plug on her teaching career at Oakridge Elementary School by announcing that she did porn on the internet. The same school she brought the poisoned cookies to. The detective asks Susan to tell him the truth from that moment on, and Susan says "I'm not 38". The detective gets a call, informing him that the police found a glassville and seringes in the dumpster behind her apartment complex with traces of antifreeze in them. Susan becomes increasingly concerned. Susan is put behind bars.
We see Penny Scavo sleeping with a night-light on, as she holds on tightly to an old teddy bear.
Karen McCluskey places a wad of cash in a small ornament she has on display in a cabinet. She closes the lid and smiles, peacefully.
Lee McDermott is pouring coffee into two mugs. The camera pans down and we see that both mugs have the word "His" written on the side.
Lynette and Tom pack up to leave for their camping trip, and exchange nothing but small talk about how great it will be and how they should had thought of that a long time ago. Tom becomes disappointed when he hears there will be no television for them, joking that "B&B" stands for "bed and baseball", and Lynette doesn't go along with him on the joke, instead asking him if he's going to take this weekend seriously. He asserts. When he turns his back to get something, Lynette pulls out a sexy nightgown and asks him whether he wants to sleep or do something else, and he responds by saying he'd like to sleep because he's tired before noticing the lingerie, which leads him to consent that if she wants to have sex, they can do so, but she takes it back, they should just go to sleep instead.
After having had dinner together, Chuck tries to kiss Bree, but finds himself in an awkward position as Bree turns away in that moment to unlock her door. The two agree that one of the worst parts of getting back into the dating game is not being able to anticipate each other's reactions. Bree resolves the situation by suggesting that they own up to their feelings. They compliment each other's attractiveness. Chuck then explains he can't wait to become more physically involved with her, which he will only do when his divorce is finalized. Bree commends his moral integrity. He tells her that waiting is half the fun, and Bree then proceeds to kiss him, only to let him know what it is exactly he's waiting for. When Chuck gets out of the house, Lee, who's taking out the trash, notices the man and becomes intrigued.
Later, Susan and Mike have a meeting with Bob, their attorney, to discuss their situation. Bob says the evidence against Felicia Tilman is pretty slim, and it'll be hard for them to prove she was trying to kill Paul. Mike says he might know how to help with that, because a few months before Felicia had called him over to pay her a visit and offered him ten thousand dollars to kill Paul. Bob leaves to go check if there are phone recordings of such conversation, and Susan is shocked to hear this, because Mike had never told her anything. Mike says he had to consider it for a while because of all the financial problems they were in, which is understandable, considering there was a time he would have killed Paul for free.
While Juanita is watching cartoons on her laptop, Gabrielle is busy cleaning the house, and she gets a call from her husband, who is away on a business trip. When she and Juanita are both done talking to Carlos, Gaby notices a man standing in her front lawn, looking through the window.
The next day, she pays Bree a visit, and her friend isn't too keen on them spending time together because of Carlos' ultimatum. Gabrielle reveals she needs a gun, and Bree makes some time for her, quizzing her about the reasons to why she would need a gun. Gaby tells her she has been spotting a man on her front lawn regularly, one Juanita had seen before too, and she can't very well go to the police with such information because the man hasn't done anything yet. Bree says she can't just loan her a gun, but she can put her up with some classes and then she can get a permit and only then can they talk about getting her a gun. Gabrielle becomes upset, saying that when the shady man breaks into her home she can just scream "Freeze! I'm taking a class!".
At her house, Felicia is painting the fingernails of the one hand she's got all five fingers on, when she receives a phone call from detective Powell, asking her to come in for an interrogation. Felicia asks what it is regarding, but the detective refuses to tell her anything else until she gets there. He asks if she needs someone to go get her, but Felicia tells him she can take care of her own transportation.
At the B&B, Lynette hints that they should try candle dipping, and Tom isn't interested. A younger couple, Andy and Lisa, introduce themselves to the Scavos, and tell them it's their third time at the B&B, they love it there. Andy asks the Scavos if they wanna join them in a candle dipping session, and Lisa tells her husband they probably wanna spend some time alone, but Tom and Lynette agree to join them, saying they can be alone at a later time.
Meanwhile, Mike knocks on Paul's door, and the latter is unwilling to let him in, but Mike keeps him from closing the door on his face. He tells Paul he should know better than to assume that out of all the people who wanted him dead Susan would actually be the one to try to do the deed. Paul says he knows very well Susan was bringing him poisoned food, and Mike explains to him that Felicia was helping Susan all along, and that she was entirely responsible for that. The two go over to Felicia's house and find that her stuff is all gone, it looks as though she ran away. Mike asks Paul if he believes him now.
The next day, when he and Bree have tea together, Lee asks her who was the man he saw coming out of her house the night before, and Bree answers that it was a detective named Chuck whom she happens to be dating. Lee then tells her he's gay, and she doesn't believe him, but he replies that he's seen Chuck at his favorite gay bar. After learning he is divorcing his wife and that he hasn't had sex with Bree yet, he becomes all the more convinced that the guy's gay. Bree asks him why Chuck would be chasing after her if he were gay, and Lee says that's because he's a cop. The police forces make for a very masculine world in which guys have to assert their virility, so Chuck has every intent of using Bree only for the purpose of showing off.
Soon enough, the presence of the Scavo couple becomes overwhelming for Lisa and Andy, who realize Tom and Lynette are going through a rough patch. They thank the Scavos for paying for dinner and lunch and the candle dipping lessons, although they insist there was no need for that, and Tom claims there is no point in bringing home the big bucks if he can't throw them around. This triggers another argument between him and his wife, the latter telling him he should stop always talking about his "big bucks", it's become annoying. The younger couple decide they should call it a night, but Lynette challenges them to a game of cards. However, the game takes a turn for the worse too, as Tom tries to tell them a heart-warming family story of how Penny wanted to get the Easter bunny's autograph one time, but Lynette jumps in while he's telling the story and finishes it and steals his punch line. Tom says she always does that, and she reveals she does that because he takes forever telling stories/jokes, at least when she's done telling them people still have the same age they had when the story began. Tom is clearly annoyed by this, and Andy and Lisa call it quits and say they have to rest because they have a big day tomorrow, and Lynette innocently asks them what they'll be up to, to which Lisa awkwardly replies "Nothing". After they've gone, Lynette says she'll be heading upstairs too, and asks her husband whether he'll be joining her. Tom says he won't right away, he's gonna check some scores on the television first. An upset Lynette walks off.
When Bree visits Chuck in prison, with the intention of having lunch with him afterwards, he explains he can't make it because he has to interview a robbery witness, and they agree to have dinner together instead. After that, Chuck introduces Bree to his co-workers and adds "See, guys, I didn't make her up". This doesn't bode well for Bree, and neither does the paper clipping she sees on a nearby mural with a picture of Chuck and his former co-worker, Peter, the day they received a medal. Detective Murphy approaches Bree and tells her that Peter and Chuck used to work together. Bree notices the past tense employed, and wonders if anything tragic happened to Peter, but Murphy points out that nothing tragic happened, only something "weird". Back at her place, Bree shows Lee the picture of the two former partners together, and starts preparing herself for the idea that he might indeed be gay. She knows now he went on a camping trip with Peter, and when they came back the latter transferred out.
At the NRA base, Alan, the instructor, runs through the basics of gun possession. Gabrielle can't take things seriously, so Alan approaches her and tests her. She says she wants a gun for protection, so he decides to play a part. Assuming he's a dangerous man who has just broken into her home with the intention of hurting her, can she grab hold of a gun, shoot him and live with that for the rest of her life? Gaby admits she can't, and Alan tells the class that anyone else who feels like they can't handle something like that should just leave. Gaby does so, and does it alone. Later, Susan shows up on Paul's doorstep after having been cleared by the police, thanks to a statement of his explaining he believed now she was innocent. Susan thanks him, and Paul apologizes for thinking the one person who was ever good to him on that street ever since he returned was trying to kill him. He adds that he's just not used to people being nice to him, which is why he gets suspicious. Paul appears to be packing up, and Susan asks what's going on. Paul says he can't stay there, which is something she doesn't understand, considering Felicia has now disappeared. Paul says it has nothing to do with Felicia, he just doesn't belong on the lane, which she doesn't agree with. She becomes nostalgic, holding a picture of the Young family (Paul, Mary Alice and Zach), and reminds him that when she moved onto the street he and his wife were so nice to her, which is why she wanted to stay there so much. Paul tells her they had to be nice, they had been running away from something terrible they'd done for so many years. They spent everyday waiting for the past to catch up to them, and it did, as it usually does. Susan says that was a long time ago, and he has a chance to start over now. Paul adds that Susan was the only one around him who believed he could start over, and she says she still does. "You're a good person, Paul, I truly believe that", she says. Paul asserts, and explains he'd rather leave while she still believes he's good. He hands her the keys to the place and tells her she and her family should move back to their old house and the rest of the rent will be his gift to her. Susan thanks him and says she doesn't know how to repay him, and Paul asks her that they simply be happy there. She says they will, and the two hug.
Lee theorizes that Chuck made his move on Peter, whom he must have been in love with, and thus created tension between the two of them that led to the end of their partnership. Bree is determined to find out the truth, and considers the idea of offering herself up to Chuck that very night. During their date, Bree makes a move on him, and he turns her away, insisting they must wait until their divorce is finalized. Bree then brings him to the gay club where Lee spotted him, and he is warmly welcomed by its crowd. Bree comes clean: she knows Chuck is gay, and she is okay with that, having a gay son and gay friends and all, but she doesn't date gay people. Chuck also comes clean: he's not gay, he just pretend to be whilst working on an undercover operation to track down drug dealers working in that club. Bree thinks he's making up excuses at first, and tells him she knows about Peter. Chuck takes her to a quiet corner and explains that Peter was his best friend for nine years until the day they went on a camping trip and he let Chuck know he'd been sleeping with his wife for months. Bree wonders why he never told her that, and Chuck replies that as a detective he should have been aware that something was going. "So you're not gay?", she asks. He replies with a hot kiss on her lips that takes her breath away, and thus Bree finally gets the answer she was hoping for.
Later, at a grocery store, Gabrielle notices the man is there, apparently still stalking her, and tries to get away from him, but is distracted by a kid who dropped some stacked cans to the floor. The man appears in front of her, and Gabrielle is caught by surprise yet again. He goes away, and she tries to follow him, but fails to. She then consults with the security supervisor, having told him the man had stolen her pocket book, and she is shocked to learn the identity of her stalker: it's her stepfather Alejandro, who was supposed to be dead. Gabrielle is then seen at the shooting range, firing a weapon like a pro. Alan complements her on her skills, adding that he was surprised to see her there, after she had made it clear she didn't have it in her to shoot anyone. Gaby says she's gotten over that.
The next morning, Andy and Lisa are having coffee together when Tom and Lynette come downstairs. They try to rush off to avoid them, but their efforts are to no avail, for the Scavos greet them and ask what they will be doing that day. Andy says they'll be antiquing, and Tom replies that they love antiquing, but they are caught off guard when Andy reveals he and his wife were planning on doing it all by themselves. Tom asks them if they are blowing them off, and Lisa tries to make up some excuse, but Andy comes clean: they are trying to blow them off, because they came to the B&B to be alone, and they can't give that up because Tom and Lynette can't stand to be alone with each other. Lisa then wishes them good luck, and Tom asks for what. She says she hopes they can work through their issues.
The next day, Paul comes out of his garage and shuts the automatic door, then taking a moment to appreciate Wisteria Lane. He then walks into the house and is knocked over the head, dropping to the floor immediately afterwards, apparently unconscious.
Later that day, in their room, Tom and Lynette yet again exchange small talk, this time about how it is pouring outside. Lynette changes the subject to how complete strangers seem to notice they're having problems. Tom claims he has been trying to make things work, but he doesn't know what she wants, nor how to please her. Lynette says she doesn't think he has been trying hard enough, and he tries to prove her wrong by giving her an updated version of the engagement ring he'd given her twenty years before, with a new diamond. Lynette says she appreciates the gesture, but she loved the old ring. Tom, however, tells her it never seemed that way, considering how she always made a little joke whenever she showed that ring to anyone. Lynette realizes he's right, but that doesn't mean she didn't love the ring. This only works against her, as Tom becomes more and more of how much he can't get it right with her. Tom announces that he doesn't know what he wants, but he knows he can't continue living with Lynette if their lives will continue like this.
Paul wakes up a while later, gagged and tied to a chair with duct tape, and with a serum of poison attached to his arm, pooring it into his veins. Felicia explains to him that she will take the duct tape out of his mouth, but should he scream for help, she'd immediately jam a seringe into his heart, killing him instantly. She then proceeds to explain that the poison running through him will kill him eventually as well, but at a much slower pace, giving the three of them a chance to talk. She takes the gag out of his mouth and he asks her who else is there. Felicia replies "Why, Beth, of course", then revealing the urn containing her daughter's ashes right in front of Paul. She says she just knows Beth would love to be a part of that moment.
Back at their apartment, Susan and Mike are packing up and getting ready to leave, and they realize just how much they will not miss that place. Susan has the idea of decorating MJ's old room with all his toys so he could come home to them, and Mike agrees. He says he could stop by later, but Susan tells him to keep packing, she'll do it immediately. Back on the lane, Felicia tries to force a confession and/or an apology from Paul Young for killing her sister Martha, but Paul says he doesn't regret a thing, he didn't then, and he doesn't now, because the minute he saw the life leaving Martha's mean eyes he knew she had gotten what she had coming to her. After all, she had driven his wife to suicide, and so she wasn't so innocent as Felicia passed her off to be. Felicia reveals that she has recorded the whole thing, the confession of the murder, and so once he's gone everyone will know she wasn't crazy after all. Paul tells her that even if people find out he killed Martha, he will go to his grave sure of one thing: everyone knows she's crazy. In the meantime, Susan shows up and spots them together. Paul notices her, and asks Felicia how long he's got till the poison kills him, and she says about thirty minutes. Susan calls 911 and says she's got a murderer loose in her house, and they should send an ambulance and the police. She then has an idea. Felicia hears the sound of police car sirens and runs away, leaving Paul inside the house. Susan sneaks up from outside the room and tries to cut him loose, after pulling out the serum. Outside, Felicia notices that the street is clear, there are no cop cars anywhere. She heads back inside and notices that the sound had come from MJ's toy police car. Back in the room where Paul and Susan are, she can't seem to be able to free him from all the duct tape, and so Felicia beats her over the head. Susan drops to the floor and Felicia says that if her casseroles had been any better, Paul would have had seconds and none of this needed to happen. Felicia grabs a seringe and attempts to stab Susan in the chest with it, but Paul is able to release himself and pulls Felicia away, throwing her against the wall. He then starts to choke her and tells her this has all been going on for too long. Felicia nearly dies at Paul's hands, but Susan gets up and asks him to stop, because he is not like her, he is not a murderer. Paul lets her go just as the actual police cars arrive, and Felicia runs away yet again, grabbing the urn containing Beth's ashes before going. Paul thanks Susan. She then lets him know she was aware of the fact that he wouldn't hurt, because he is a good person, and he asks her to stop saying that. Felicia is right, he did kill Martha. Susan is surprised to hear this, and Paul confides in her that he hasn't been the man she thinks he is for a very long time. The police officers step into the house, and Paul asks them to take his statement, because he has a confession to make.
Bree and Chuck are sitting in the former's house on a sofa. The two stare into each other's eyes before pouncing and kissing one another passionately.
Gabrielle eyes up her new gun and holds it in her hands, before slowly placing in in her purse and closing it with a click.
Paul is taken away by the police officers in hand-cuffs, as Susan looks on from the front door.
Felicia is seen driving away during the daytime. On the seat next to her she's got the urn containing Beth's ashes, leaning up against a piece of paper. Felicia pulls the paper, and the urn falls from the seat and spills the ashes. Felicia tries to recover it whilst driving, but loses control of the car as she gets her eyes off the road and the dust fills up the car and making her lose her grip. She heads into the other lane and a truck comes up towards her. Felicia is panicked as the two vehicles crash. The screen cuts to black. Felicia is presumed to be dead.
"And Lots of Security..." was written by Joe Keenan and directed by David Grossman.
This episode was viewed by approximately 9.7 million viewers, the lowest ratings for a finale episode the series has ever had, and with a 2.9 in the key demo (18-49). The viewership increased a little for the second hour of the 2-part finale. Overall reaction to the episode from viewers and critics was mixed. Christian Blaulvelt, recapper/reviewer for EW.com, felt the resolution to Paul's arc was anti-climactic ("The Felicia [Tilman]/Paul Young showdown comes to an epically anti-climactic end (...)").
Gallery of photographic stills released to promote the episode.
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