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"AH! hagima (stop)!!! no whistle!!!" -cabbie. about 10 minutes ago.
at which point he began to jerk the steering wheel and, along with it, the car wildly all over the road. he did this to indicate that whistling in his taxi could very well cause him to crash the car in a horrific manner. in the process almost causing us to crash. in what would probably have ended up being a horrific, and firey, manner. god bless these taxi drivers. also, i think he was drunk.
so did i ever tell you guys about pube guy? the gym that i go to is a decent size. however, the male change room is super small for some reason. the shower room is big. but i don't use the showers there anymore. because i'm tired of the koreans staring at my crotch the whole time. like, literally. all of them, the whole time. blatantly. i'll stand for it at the urinals, because i have to. but now i just shower when i get home. but that's neither here nor there. in the change room there's one mirror. and a lot of times when i go in there, either to change into my shorts, or to change out of them, there's some guy standing in front of the mirror. and he's naked. and he's using the little hairdryer provided to blowdry his groin area. which is fine, but he does it for a really long time. i can't say how long, because he's usually doing when i go in, and still doing it when i leave. at first, i thought it was pretty funny. then unsettling after i saw him a few more times. finally it just made me angry. who's this guy to bogart the mirror and hairdryer for such a long time. if he's there tomorrow i'm totally going to kick his ass. i'll probably wait until he gets dressed first i suppose. but god knows how long that will take.
one of my neighbors now owns a rooster. i don't know why anyone not living on a farm would ever possibly own a rooster. and i certainly don't know why anyone living in a city, that did not wish to be murdered eventually by me would do so either. but there you have it. i don't really know how long it's been around, but i do know that i first took notice of it tuesday morning, at around 5, when it began to crow. and continued to crow for the next hour, pretty much every minute. i spent the entire next day cranky and mad. and craving corn flakes. and it happened the next morning, and the next. and possibly the weekend too, but i wasn't home in time to hear it. so my mission for the week is to venture out of my house in the wee hours and find this rooster. and if it won't listen to reason, to cut it's motherfucking head off. i don't really know how big to make my search area, because i don't know how far rooster crying travels. i do know, however, that if i can pull this off, i shall become some sort of korean folk hero for the ages. which has been my plan all along.
i taught some of my kids the theme song to sanford and son. and they now sing it damn near constantly. i never thought that song could get old. and yet.....
that crazy religion lady at the store tried to convince me to go to thanksgiving dinner at her church this weekend. my claims that i am canadian and our thanksgiving is in october fell on deaf ears. so i was forced to throw some flour in her eyes and hightail it out of there. i am not looking forward to the next time i have to go in there.
this weekend was good times. my friend vicki, through a horrible misunderstanding, was fired from her job and is now going home this week. so we had a little bash for her on friday night. it turned pretty crazy. i was forced, or "forced" to tackle a young man off of the stage, because he was drunk and yelling into various microphones while bands were trying to play music. luckily, he was skinny and i took him down to chinatown with little to no trouble. in gratutude, the band allowed me to drunkenly yell into microphones. or "sing", which is always fun. actually, it was ronan that i tackled. we both did a wonderful rendition of twist and shout together. later that night, scottish amy fell down somewhere and knocked one of her teeth out. luckily, a young kiwi woman knew how to fix this and grabbed amy's face and shoved the tooth right back into her jaw. and it held fast too. then her and her boy went to huckleberrytown to find an all night dentist. she hasn't been answering her phone since. also, some new girl tried to make out with ike, then me, and then hot sauce, then the chad, then a korean guy who speaks english. after exhausting all her english-speaking possibilities, she moved on to the real koreans, and eventually found one to make out with. god bless her slutty little heart.
saturday night we went to see the departed. it was totally badass. leonardo dicaprio rocked the shit out of that movie. as did mark wahlberg. we watched movies at the sauce's today. the chad wants me to tell you people that he is not the sex-crazed party animal i may have made him out to be over the past year. i'm not saying i agree or disagree. you people have the facts. he just told me to tell you. that's it. i love you all.
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