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Hear that bellowing from the other room? Sounds like a moose, right? Well it's my cat Wicket.
In a most disgusting display of debauchery I've seen since I watched Bad Lieutenant, my whore of a cat seems to just love rubbing all over me. My god. It's like she's on X. I feel so dirty and used and there's nothing I can do about except keep telling shut up and sometimes letting out an 'EWW STOP!';. And to make it worse she lets out these bellows that could rattle the windows were she not just a tiny little cat. I mean she really lets loose. It's not the 'meowwww' it's more like, 'MUUUURRRRRRRRR' and more muffled and a lot more prostitute-sounding.
Now, I do not have money to spay the bitch, yet, but there has to be a way to shut her the F up. Take her to my buddy's farm and get her knocked up by a farm cat? Perhaps, but I do not want baby-Wickets running around. Muzzle? Maybe, but it would make me feel bad. Put her in a bag and drown her in the pool? I'm beginning to think this is the only viable option. She's becoming a menace to the apartment; what with all the rubbing and junk and stuff.
But really, how long does this last? This is now day 3 and she's still going strong. I knew I should have gotten a boy. Or a ferret.
Another weird/horrifying thing she does is she'll be lying on the ground looking at me and if I look at her and say something, like 'WHAT' she'll raise her back legs like a harlot and bellow, 'MURRRR'
I think my point here is that female cats in heat are some of the most revolting things on this planet. Yuck.
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