Posted on 1/17/07 09:51 AM
The one bright spot in this movie was Vin Diesel.
John Malkovich, however, was abysmal. What he did, you can't call acting. I don't know WHAT it was that he was doing, but it wasn't acting. He makes the performances given in "Weekend at Bernie's" and "Encino Man" look like Oscar winners.
I want to kill him. I want to kill John Malkovich so he doesn't subject me or anyone else to the rectal excretion that was his acting in this movie.
Yes, in my world, I'd kill John Malkovich for this torturous performance. But I would give him a one day reprieve. Yes, being the gracious and benevolent being that I am, I'd let him live one additional day so that he could go and kill Laurel Smith. Why? For casting him in this movie. That's why. He deserves at least a little of the blame, don't you think?
But in addition to John's one day reprieve, I'd leave him instructions to give the same reprieve to Laurel so that Laurel could hunt down and kill Brian Koppelman and David Levin for writing and directing this piece of garbage.
What about a reprieve for Brian and David you say? Not a chance. My generosity only goes so far. Let 'em die.
Posted on 11/15/06 09:17 AM
Casino Royale - 1954
THE FIRST James Bond story ever to appear on screen:
"In 1954, Barry Nelson played Bond in 007's screen debut: a 1954 live TV version of the first James Bond novel 'Casino Royale'."
I'm quite surprised at how much I enjoyed this? well? it's not really a film? this 'show' I guess. (Even though they did the unpardonable and made Bond an American agent!)
Being a lover of all things Bond, I HAD to see this and was quite surprised to find that I already owned it. It is included as a special feature on the Woody Allen 'Casino Royale' DVD. Nice!
For a '50's show, this was pretty cool!
Posted on 11/04/06 02:13 AM
I took my friend's son, Javin, to see this today. Thankfully, to my surprise, the big draw for the pre-teen crowd was The Santa Claus III, so my experience during the film was quite a pleasant one! Not a lot of yapping going on. However, Javin, being 6, wanted to sit in the very first row. I'm 6' 4" tall. A LOT of slouching was necessary. Grrrrrr?
This wasn't the side splitting comedy I was expecting it to be. I chuckled a few times, but more noticeably to me was that I didn't hear the kids in the theatre laughing all that much either. A few chuckles here and there and that was it?
Frankly, I think they missed the mark with the plot. The most entertaining parts of this film were the Judo Frogs with French accents (and 1 Frog Mime) and the singing/screaming Slugs. I think they might have had a much better film had they based the movie on them and not a bunch of faux British Rats. This was no 'Cars'.
What DID work for me was the excellent music choices and how they presented the music in the film (This is where the slugs come in...). I really enjoyed that the music was used to accent different things, but we didn't have to sit through constant 4 minute Disney-esque 'Musical' interruptions, but the music was used to briefly accentuate what was going on. Well done!
Posted on 10/20/06 10:43 AM
Escape From L.A.
Significantly better than EFNY, but still hysterical!
Posted on 10/20/06 05:59 AM
I, as a general rule, do not like Wesley Snipes movies.
I, as a general rule, do not like Wesley Snipes! (I get it? I get it? You?re an angry black man? We all get it? Move on!!!)
And to my surprise, he did! Wesley can actually act! Who knew?
Unfortunately, the movie as a whole was a little mediocre. It kind of felt like it was ?The Last Boyscout?s? less edgy, little brother. I liked the movie, just nothing groundbreaking here.
Oh yeah? DeNiro, of course, was freakin? brilliant!
Posted on 10/19/06 09:05 AM
With such a 'big-name' cast, disappointingly un-funny...
Maybe Jack should stick to what he's the master of... acting... and not try to direct...