Posted on 1/17/07 09:51 AM
The one bright spot in this movie was Vin Diesel.
John Malkovich, however, was abysmal. What he did, you can't call acting. I don't know WHAT it was that he was doing, but it wasn't acting. He makes the performances given in "Weekend at Bernie's" and "Encino Man" look like Oscar winners.
I want to kill him. I want to kill John Malkovich so he doesn't subject me or anyone else to the rectal excretion that was his acting in this movie.
Yes, in my world, I'd kill John Malkovich for this torturous performance. But I would give him a one day reprieve. Yes, being the gracious and benevolent being that I am, I'd let him live one additional day so that he could go and kill Laurel Smith. Why? For casting him in this movie. That's why. He deserves at least a little of the blame, don't you think?
But in addition to John's one day reprieve, I'd leave him instructions to give the same reprieve to Laurel so that Laurel could hunt down and kill Brian Koppelman and David Levin for writing and directing this piece of garbage.
What about a reprieve for Brian and David you say? Not a chance. My generosity only goes so far. Let 'em die.