Showing 1 - 1 of 1 Movie Blogs
This is that twist I was talking about. Weren't expecting this were you? Neither was I but I'm almost out of ideas for shows so this thread may have itself jumped the shark. If so, we just got meta. Anyway, if you're unfamilar with Nick, it's a children's television cable network like Cartoon Network. Nick first began as a small network known as Pinwheel on Columbus, Ohio. Nick got it's big break with You Can't Do That On Television. The title's name was unusual as Nick had just done that on television when airing You Can't Do That On Televison so you can do that on television technically but it says you can't do that on television yet it does. Agh. My brains. They are scrambled.
In the 90s, Nick was king. The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Salute Your Shorts, Clarissa Explains It All, GAS, Kenan & Kel, Double Dare, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, GUTS, Nick Arcade, and Wild and Crazy Kids were great live-actions shows especially Pete & Pete and Are You Afraid of the Dark?. Then, the Nicktoons... My God, the Nicktoons! Rocko's Modern Life? Doug? Aah! Real Monsters? Ren and Stimpy? Tiny Toons? Angry Beavers? Classic cartoons. Early All That is still a guilty pleasure of mine. Kenan Thompson is far better here than he is at SNL. That was a great age to be a kid. But, then... It happened.
Catdog happened, to be exact. The Wild Thornberreys wasn't exactly good but, hey, it had Tim Curry. It gets a slide for that. Catdog was just an absymal show. I can't stress how awful it was enough. Watching Catdog is about as dangerous for your healt as eating a combination of McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King's, and various other fast food restaraunt's food with cigarettes, cigars, and tobacco gum thrown into the mix with some broken vials thrown onto the top to give it a little texture. Hm... Catdog may be a little more dangerous than that.
Anyway, guess what happened two cartoons ahead of Catdog? Rocket Power. Remember when Nick cartoons like Doug didn't have to struggle with all of their might to be relevant and hip? Well, Rocket Power was clearly out of that time period. Yeah, put shoobies on a god damn black screen with the word flashing everywhere. I'm still not going to use it an actual conversation. I mean, Rocket Power just tries so damn hard to be hip and cool. It's like a child molester coming onto a playground with a mohawk haircut, wearing an Ecko shirt, and has candy. Lots and lots of candy.
Sure, Spongebob and Fairly Oddparents were great cartoons. Two great cartoons aren't enough when you've got a whole line-up of shit to compete with. Invader Zim also came out but that didn't last long. I won't bother you with the rest of the cartoons except for the spin-off of Rugrats called All Grown Up. What. Want to know how far Nick has fallen in Nicktoons? They have a cartoon on that Barnyard movie now. That Barnyard movie. Read it again... That Barnyard movie. It was a movie not even Hazelrabbit could love. In live-action... Well, I'm not drunk enough to even begin to discuss that. Yet. Hint, hint. Wait, maybe, I am drunk. Oh, well, let's do it, anyway. You've got Zoey 101 and The Naked Brothers Band. Okay, I'd have to drink until I had died of alcohol poisoning to even begin to discuss them.
Now, even shows like Spongebob and Fairly Oddparents are losing their touch as Nick keeps milking them dry. The only great show on Nick right now is Avatar. Nick will never get back to it's golden age status without a total rehaul which would be too costly and most kids won't notice or care. They'll just watch it no matter what. Nick is now a hollow version of itself. It's like the Thing is Nick and the original Nick is dead now. That is my own theory of what has occured.
The Point of No Return: Catdog is so bad that it will be here too. I'd say the actual point of no return would be Rocket Power. Dammit, Klasky Csupo. The only good show you've ever produced was Aah! Real Monsters and the Simpsons doesn't count either. Stop existing.