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I'll start this journal with a blunt statement: I cannot sing. My singing voice was once compared to a parrot being choked by a towel. That's not completely accurate though; replace "towel" with "electric eel" and you've got something closer to the truth.
So, if I can't sing, why exactly did I sign up for "St. Mary's Idol", my school's version of American Idol? That's right. Because I'm an idiot.
Well, the truth is, I thought I had a good shot. I got an insider tip that only 8 people had signed up, and since they were having a live Top 10 concert, I figured they'd at least give me a spot by default. A few days after I signed up, the audition sheet appeared, and I was quite shocked to discover that there were nearly 50 contestants vocally battling it out. This, in addition to the fact that several of the contestants were direct descendants of Michael Jackson, was enough to make me realize my chances were nil to nil.
But, on the day of my audition, I was determined to sing. So, I chose a song (Mr. Blue Sky by ELO) and began practicing, in a washroom during my lunch period. Much the way girls do to cover up the sound of their business, I had the handdryers on so nobody would hear me singing and mistake it for the sound of a chemical explosion, possibly alerting the police. At one point somebody walked in and I piped down almost immediately, but the look he gave me seemed to indicate "I heard that...". I ran out of the room, only to hear my name on the school PA system, being called down to audition.
When I got to the room, I discovered the awkward set-up. Eight, that's right, EIGHT people on chairs, facing me in a semi-circle.
"Sing," they suggested in a demanding tone.
And I sung, and I sung, and I sung. And afterward, they didn't do anything. No applause, no comments, not even eye contact. They quietly sat there, looking at their notes on my performance, apparently sending telepathic messages to each other, such as "did anybody else just hear a chemical explosion?". So I left the room.
On a positive note, I will say this: I was one of the Top 50 contestants that tried out! And despite that merit, I've opted to never sing again. It clearly wasn't meant to be, I have many other talents that I should choose to pursue, such as amateur dentistry.
I was proud that I signed up, and I got a lot of support from friends. But, I think with my singing career, it's time to throw in the towel. Or in this case, the electric eel.