Posted on 8/02/10 11:13 AM
What I Thought Going In: Well, they've been advertising this for centuries, hope it's good.
"Salt" stars Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber and Chiwetel Ejiofor and is directed by Phillip Noyce.
"Salt" is an action-packed summer flick that offers little more than a lot of gunfire and car crashes. The story is very good, but for some reason, every single "twist" they threw in, you kinda saw coming. So, that's the equivalent of us robbing "Salt" of the HR it might have had.
Props To: My boy, Liev Schreiber, one of the most underrated actors in Hollywood. Thankfully he's getting more props now, after being one of the lone bright spots in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" he also starred in "Defiance" and "Repo Men", I think he's gotten the ball rolling. Nice work man!
My Burn: Oh boy, Angelina is getting older man...her sexy factor is no longer enough to carry a film over the top...either that or I'm gay...and I'm pretty sure I'm not gay.
Bottom Line: "Salt" had a ton of action and a still-sexy-but-not-as-good-as-she-used-to-be lead, it will satisfy your summer action movie craving...but just barely.
Posted on 7/20/10 10:04 AM
What I Thought Going In: This movie looks so f**king good!!
"Inception" stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Tom Berenger and Michael Caine and is written and directed by Christopher Nolan
"Inception" succeeds on every level. Intellectually stimulating, forcing you to keep track of everything that is going on, visually it is amazing and nothing short of that. The acting is great, writing is incredible and directing is also very well done. Action sequences are captivating, I cannot say enough good things about "Inception".
My Burn: Is it just me, or is every movie starring Leo about how disturbed he is? Catch Me If You Can, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Gangs of New York, The Aviator, Shutter Island, Inception, etc. lol
Bottom Line: "Inception" is a fun ride that's stimulating on every level, if you get a chance to see it, go to the IMAX and SEE IT.
Posted on 7/14/10 08:17 AM
What I Thought Going In: Wow this looks veird...well maybe it's good anyway.
"Alice in Wonderland" stars Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham-Carter and Crispin Glover and was a disappointment. The directing was all over the place, acting was eh and about the only good thing in this film was the imagery. The imagery and scenic effects were amazing. Everything else was not. It's a bad sign when the best character in the whole movie is a cracked out rabbit that's in the film for 2 scenes.
My Burn: Johnny Depp has the ability to do whatever roles he so chooses. Had this been one of his first films, my guess is he would never get another job acting again. Johnny, do something worth my money next time, k thanks.
Bottom Line: If you have a hard on for Alice in Wonderland, then see it, otherwise it's a SKEEP.
Posted on 7/08/10 09:16 AM
The sequel to the action blockbuster "Transformers". How good is this going to be?
The answer, bad. It stars the same cast from the first film, with the same director and hopes of even more action and effects, how could they possibly screw this up? Not sure, but they did.
There was a ton of action and the effects were still very, very good, probably the whole 50% of my rating was accounted for the good part of the effects. The bad? Too much going on, story was eh, some parts were just flat out corny and it was just very messy, not satisfying.
My Burn: "Transformers" is like the older, mature brother who knows his limits and how to give people a good time. Revenge of the Fallen is like the immature, younger, half-retarded brother who wants to do everything better than his older brother, and constantly fails.
Bottom Line: If you're a die-hard Transformers fan, then see it, but don't expect it to live up to the hype. Otherwise, I'd say SKIP IT.
Posted on 6/27/10 06:24 PM
"Grown Ups" is like that date you've been expecting to go on with this really amazing girl for months. You do all you prep work and are really just ready to sit back and enjoy. At which point, she turns out to be a dull, dimwitted bimbo who didn't even give you a goodnight kiss at the end of the date.
Grown Ups stars Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider and David Spade, a fantastic cast of very funny people who are all friends in real life, which really helped this movie out a ton. The film overall, never really went anywhere, it's as if the screenplay was just each cast member saying a funny lie and that's it, then the movie ends 2 hours later.
My Burn: PG-13...WTF?! If this movie focused on adult humor and situations instead of family oriented and a PG-13 rating, this film would have been sooooooo much better. Shame on you Happy Madison productions for just wanting to make more cash with a PG-13 rating.
Bottom Line: If you're fans of these guys like I am, see it, it's worth the rent, I wouldn't see it in theaters. If you're not really all gung ho on these comedic actors, then I'd stay away.
Posted on 6/15/10 07:19 AM
"Real Women Have Curves" is an HBO film that doesn't hit the spot.
RWHC stars America Ferrera as a teenage girl looking to find herself and what she wants. Her mother is a traditional influence while that clashes with Anna's new world ideas. She is forced to balance between her mother being a real pain in the ass along with sweatshop like work conditions and a relationship, while thinking about college. She's got aloooooot on her plate.
The screenplay was very good and the story was very intriguing, a great, rock solid start for a film. Too bad the acting blew and was slow paced and didn't keep your attention for two seconds at a time. Also, the mother constantly calls everyone around her fat even though, she herself, is a tanker. I didn't know whether to laugh or be sad (I laughed). Comedy release or not? Who knows.
My Burn: Let me start by saying that I like George Lopez, he is a very funny man and is many things, comedy talk show host, successful stand up comedian, sitcom star...an actor is not one of those things. While he didn't get much screen time, anytime he was on screen, you wanted to punch him in the face. You didn't believe a single word he said and was completely out of place on this one. Just because it was about Mexicans, Mr. Lopez, does not mean you had to be a part of it.
Bottom Line: I wanted to like this, I really did. I didn't. I'm guessing you won't either unless you are the teenage daughter of a poor Mexican family who's mother calls you fatty all day and you work in a sweatshop...just sayin. PASS.
Posted on 6/15/10 07:06 AM
"Get Him to the Greek" is exactly what I expected it to be, a funny, raunchy comedy featuring two very funny people.
GHTTG stars Jonah Hill and Russell Brand as the unlikeliest of friends in a film based around getting the rock star (Russell in case you didn't guess) to the Greek theater for an anniversary concert.
Russell Brand was born to play Aldous Snow in both this and "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". He is an hilarious comedian and an even funnier on screen presence, he really is a just a rock star without a band.
Jonah Hill is usually very funny in everything I've see him in, and this is no exception. So many of his lines are ones you forget, but laugh your ass off at the time he spews them from his overweight mouth.
Kudos goes out to Sean "Diddy" Combs. He is actually extremely funny in this movie, and if the leads weren't so dynamic, he would have stolen the show. I saw he was in it and assumed he wouldn't be that great, just a name to sell tickets, I was wrong.
My Burn: How big can Jonah Hill get before he explodes? He seems to balloon after each film. Maybe if he lost weight he wouldn't be funny. Maybe. Or maybe he'll just always be enormous and that's that.
Bottom Line: Judd Apatow strikes again as one of the producers of this film, he really knows how to pick 'em, SEE IT.
Posted on 6/07/10 11:00 AM
Gangs of New York is another Scorsese masterpiece.
The film stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis, Cameron Diaz, Liam Neeson, and John C. Reilly and is directed by Martin Scorsese. The film centers around the Irish Immigration movement and assimilation in the 1840s-1860s. On a more personal level, Bill the Butcher (DD Lewis) kills Priest Vallon (Liam) and his son (Leo) seeks revenge.
Everything is this movie is well done, the acting is phenomenal all the way around and starts and ends with Daniel-Day Lewis in one of his best roles. The directing (obviously) is amazing and you really get to know the characters, which is also easy to do to a certain extent with a 2 and half hour movie. That would be my one and only complaint, too damn long.
My Burn: This burn goes not to the film, but to the academy. How in the hell do you pass over Daniel-Day Lewis for the Oscar? F**k Adrian Brody in the Pianist. Mr. Brody is a great actor and I have no problems with him, but no way in a re-vote he wins again. I DEMAND A REDO.
Bottom Line: If you haven't seen this, go run into the nearest wall, then pick yourself up and once you stop the bleeding, GO SEE IT.
Posted on 6/07/10 10:42 AM
Killers wasn't exactly...well...good.
Killers stars Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Rob Riggle, Tom Selleck, and Catherine O'Hara and is directed by Robert Luketic. Ashton plays a spy who didn't tell his wife he was a spy and a film of hilarity was supposed to ensue. Not exactly what happened.
There were some laughs that were scattered throughout, but the story got old real quick and probably would have been funnier if they used more of an action superstar instead of Ashton Kutcher or used a better looking female role. My point is pick one, a movie like this can really only star one of them in order to work, it's not good enough to have both, it just doesn't work as well with both of them in it.
My Burn: One more flop and Katherine needs to go away, or go back to doing movies with Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd. She just doesn't have the power to comedically command your attention. Okay, she's pretty good looking and acts like she's ugly, when she's really not that ugly...that's her in every movie, am I right? NEW CHARACTER TIME, KATHERINE.
Bottom Line: There are worse movies your girlfriend could drag you to see.
Posted on 6/07/10 10:26 AM
POP:TSOT is Pirates of the Caribbean on land...which is not a bad thing.
POP is a video game adaption, so I understand why many people were cautious about this film, even I was. But it was extremely well done. The action and adventure kept you entertained all throughout, thoroughly.
Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton and Sir Ben Kingsley and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, no way this film could have failed like most video game adaptions. Jake kicks ass and Gemma is a pretty face to look at.
My Burn: I've seen Gemma most recently in this and Clash of the Titans...she plays literally the same character. Does she have any acting range at all? And I know she's pretty, but to play a goddess and the Persian proclaimed "prettiest woman in Persia", is a little too much. She's like that girl that you end up with. You want a better looking girl, but she ain't too bad.
Bottom Line: POP:TSOT was an enjoyable Pirates film with a different cast and story, but with the same feel. You want action set in ancient Persia? You got it. SEE IT.