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Yesterday at work I brought in two balogna sammiches and a container of macaroni salad. I didn't eat them yet, because I prefer my sammiches to be nice and cold. This morning I went in to work and put my drink in the breakroom fridge. Almost immediately, I noticed that something was awry. Someone went and done absconded with one of my sammiches! I've been hoodwinked! I've been bamboozled! I've been led astray! What kind of a gutless shit steals another man's sammich? If I ever find the spineless turd responsible for this cold cut theft, I swear by all of the monkey gods in the sky, there WILL be ass beatings aplenty!