Posted on 6/30/10 01:49 PM
This is the worst movie I have ever seen. Oh. My. God. I had to rate it 10% because it won't let me give it the 0% it deserves.. And I do mean 0%.
Where to start.
There, at the ticket booth. They should sell razor blades so people who are forced/coerced to see this film can slice their wrists and neck in a desperate bid to stop from seeing this garbage. My wife wanted to see it, and I had to listen to the 'You never do stuff I want to do' speech until I finally agreed. In retrospect a divorce would be less painful. I knew I was danger, I just didn't know to what degree.
This film should be in the horror genre, but not because it has vampires in it. I was horrified. I was nauseated. Every time these actors (I'm not sure if you can even call them actors since none of them can act) spouted this cheesy, monotonous, awful dialogue I wanted to throw up popcorn on the person in front of me. It was like watch a porn film where nobody has sex.
From the very start, the actual opening of the film is ham-handed and bad. There is no plot to speak of beyond endless hours of mumbling 'I love you' to each other with the chemistry of two trolls swapping spit. The action scenes (what little there was) were like something from a WB tv show, perhaps even worse. Halfway thru I was looking for something I could shove up my ass, to distract myself from the abomination on the screen before me. I finally settled on car keys, it worked for a short while.
If you value movies like I do, and your sanity... Do not pay these people to make another atrocity of this nature. It is an affront to good film-making. Even the target audience of young girls must have to be lobotomized to think this crap is good. You have been warned.