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Posted on 4/16/09 09:15 AM
Dreck. From stem to stern. No likable or identifiable characters anyplace in the picture. If this is what "computer animation" is coming to, I'll come back to California, take the computers away from these people, and before I give them so much as a charcoal stick to draw with, ever again, we'll spend six months to a year reviewing the elements of good storytelling, good gag humor, and likable characters. None of the above are anyplace in this mess.
The worst picture I've seen since "Trash-formers", this steaming pile of compu-generated poop actually makes "Eragon" and "Speed Racer" look good.
And to frost this cinematic garbage with truffle fudge, something close to 75% of you think this is a good picture!
Posted on 8/09/08 07:23 AM
Stay away from this bomb. I just sat thru it, and I think I deserve some of that gold they're shoveling at Beijing.
The climax is a lift from the third Indiana Jones picture. Ford and Connery did it first and did it better. This film is so overloaded with deus ex machina that you expect a demi-god from Olympus to appear and calibrate the sound system in the theater. The script is weak, filled to the rafters with dialog that will date it badly in just a few years. The story trips and stumbles all over itself to inform the audience that this is supposed to be "post-war" (1946) China. From the neon in the signs of "Shanghai" to the wardrobe worn by the cast, and the hair styles, all of them together scream 2006 rather than 1946.
Never mind a first time director or any other shopworn, sorry excuse for slop where a film ought to be.
***A first year FILM STUDENT* could have made a better film than this, and many have.
The cast is wasted from start to finish. Jet Li is one of the best (and most under-rated)action stars in screen history. He must have been drugged while filming this awful mess. He has about four minutes of anything worthy of his considerable gifts.
There is no chemistry at all between the main characters, who soak up ridiculous amounts of screen time with a side-story that deals with father-son-mother angst, while doing nothing whatsoever to move the story out of the gate.
The effects start out making the picture plausible, in a sense, but by the last reel the "Army of Darkness" steal that caps this turkey just looks plain old awful. Didn't anyone teach whoever scotch taped this picture together that if the Effects ARE the picture rather than the STORY being the picture, they're in trouble?
Again, strictly first year film school stuff. All of it lost on whoever is to blame for this mess.
Now, If you'll pardon me, I'm going to go watch "The Scorpion King" just to rinse "Mummy 3" from my poor, abused brain. At least "The Scorpion King" is camp, and doesn't try to insult my sensibilities right out of the box.