Showing 1 - 3 of 3 Movie Blogs
Toy Story 3 was an excellent movie imo and one that I enjoyed immensely. It managed to convey a message while still being a children’s movie, something that many animated movies fail to do (eg Wall E). But was it really that simple to understand and appreciate? From what I gather the answer is yes. And thus a curious case follows:
I decided to go see TS3 at the cinema with a friend of mine who is obsessed with animated movies. And this was one that I was actually looking forward to. We arrived at the cinema to find it was half filled with parents and their children, the other half filled with couples, friends, singles. Funny enough it was not the children that I worried about but the inordinate number of tweens in our session.
My concern was to prove correct. True some kids cried, some asked their parents questions but they’re children and this is their movie. In addition they all laughed and enjoyed themselves which is all you can ask from the movie-goers of tomorrow.
Yet what really chapped my ass were the group of tweeny-boppers sitting in the row behind of us. They felt it was their duty to ruin the experience for those around them by talking and complaining throughout. Indeed one felt it was her duty to repeat ‘What the hellllllllllllll???’ at least every 10mins. Bound by societal expectations not to jump the row and beat her I can only look back at this experience with quiet anger and analyse things.
You see, the repetition of 'What the helllllllllllll???' throughout a showing of Toy Story 3 by a tween while 4yos got it can only mean one of a few things:
1) she exemplifies the failings of the education system
2) She's of normal intelligence and it actually represents the higher standard of preschool education that will lead to a generation of geniuses
3) She is a F**KING STUPID ANNOYING B**CH
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24 long hours later I leave the hospital with a mixture of relief and disappointment; fondness and disgust.
I had arrived on Birth Suite at 7am hoping to get at least 2 of the three births I needed as part of our course requirements signed off. And it was a good start. As I was walking in so too was a pregnant woman supported by her husband. I was assigned to the midwife looking after her and set myself up to wait. After all, those before me had regaled me of stories of long 8/9 hour waits.
But it was not going to be a long wait this time. No, for the first time in my life something was going for me and her labour progressed rapidly. Rapidly but not easily. Following just over 2 hours of pain and screaming her waters broke. A dark fluid streamed from her and that’s when everything kicked into gear. The Paediatrician was called and the neonatal crash cart brought in. This was not going to be a dream birth.
The dark water is also known as Meconium Liquor (LIE-kor) and it means something is not right and the baby at risk of breathing it in. The midwife examined the lady to find that she was 7cm dilated, 3cm off from being ready to deliver. To everyone’s surprise less than 4mins later the baby’s head appeared. Then the body. We quickly rubbed it down with towels and then it was swiftly whisked to crash cart – pale, limp and lifeless. After oxygen and suction the chest began to move and colour return to the small human. She was returned to her mother a healthy little girl.
Buoyed by the swiftness and the excitement of the proceedings I decided to ignore the suggestions of going home at 2pm and decided to stay and hope for another pregnancy. I was placed with a woman who had been induced 6 hours earlier. A piece of cake I thought. She’ll deliver in a few hours too.
That was not the case. Hour after hour passed, and with it my excitement and concentration. At 9pm it was thought that she would deliver. At 11pm an instrumental delivery was thought to be required. At 1am it was unlikely. At 3am there was to be no chance of delivery. At 4am she was consented to an emergency caesarean. At 5am she was taken to theatre and with it my hopes of getting 2 births. Despite having waited 15 hours, the bright lights of theatre and the fact I was allowed to scrub in and get up close and personal kept me awake and relatively motivated. As the ObGyn cut into the uterus and pulled out the stubborn boy there was a sigh of relief let out by all parties involved. The long night was almost over and the baby safe.
2 hours later, a full day after arriving, I left the hospital with the privilege of having seen the birth of a boy and girl and two sets of scrubs crammed into my bag.
I had not reflected much during the shift as my mind was numbed by the constant emptiness of waiting but following a nice sleep a few observations were made:
1) Labour and caesareans are both horrendous things to witness and quite disgusting. Both involve blood, sweat, tears, and tears – the latter leading to copious amounts of blood to stream out.
2) The whole experience was uncannily similar to the Chest Burster scenes from the Alien movies
3) A clean, healthy, newborn baby is a joyous sight to behold and can fill even the most cynical heart with happiness and awe. They are beautiful and innocent – the purest things in our world yet to be corrupted by humanities failings.
4) It IS manly to cry at your baby’s birth – something some fathers only realised right at the end
5) I will never be an ObGyn
6) Despite the workload, despite some idiots (patients, faculty, other students, etc) ruining my life, it is moments like these that make me realise that at the end of the day it will all be worth it. And for that I’m thankful.
And thus ends my first experience on the Birth Suite and the tale of 2 babies and their births.
Or as I like to say – the tale of Beauty and the Beast.
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Two things are keeping me going this year. One is the World Cup which is about to end. The second is possibly even more sacred. It is ‘The Expendables’. Not a single movie has made my heart skip like this as I swoon over the who’s who of (dumb) action stars that helped define my taste in movies to this day. And thus, with no further ado I shall bid you farewell….
‘Best Action Stars’
No doubt a tough list with the golden generation past their prime and the new gen for the most part lacking the, well, PUNch of their elders, there is really nothing to separate some of these action greats.
So what makes a great action star?
It is not the quality of their acting. Nor is it the quality of their movies - indeed it appears that action superstardom is inversely proportional to tomato rating. Nay… it is much more than that. It is a feeling they arouse inside of you. These are real men, their sheer awesomeness awakening the primitive man-imal inside us all.
And now on to the list!
[B]1) Arnold Schwarzenegger [/B]
For millennia has the story of Arnie been prophesised with the Greeks penning his great adventures. The real son of Zeus, Arnie aka Heracles, has many stories regaling his heroic exploits, all of them true. Indeed the movies he has starred in are but small glimpses into the life of the world’s real ‘Last Action Hero’
Best Movie: Junior… T2 obviously
Why we love him: The Austrian Oak’s idiotic grin and lack of acting skills make this brute just that much more loveable. And of course he has starred in some of the greatest action movies ever.
1) Bruce Willis
Bruce Willis is the bastard child of Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson and Joan of Arc. With such a bloodline there is no wonder why this king among men reigns supreme, even trumping Iron Chef France Hiroyuki Sakai! Some astute readers may be wondering how there can be two number ones. Simple. It is unreasonable to compare demi-gods to mere mortals (note the term ‘mere’ is used extremely loosely in presence of such epic company) and Willis’ leadership is second to none.
Best movie: Die Hard 2
Why we love him: In John McClane, Willis has portrayed one of, if not the, greatest action heroes ever. Not to mention the receding hairline and stubble which only further enhances his rugged manliness. Indeed his style has had profound effects on his son, Jason Statham, who has continued the look.
2) Sylvester Stallone
Half man, half horse, all steroids, the Italian Stallion has been a marker of power for ages. The inspiration of Ferrari’s badge, the Stallone is a recent measure of power. 1 Stallone is equivalent to 1x10^10 horsepower. It is theorised that should engineers manage to reach such levels space travel will be a reality. Such is his power that his speech emulates the rumble of great machines often leading to the misunderstanding that he cannot speak properly.
Best movie: Rambo (the recent one)
Why we love him: With movies almost as infamous and entertaining as his articulation Stallone has provided us action classics for decades. However those foolishly attempting to emulate Stallone by going ‘Rambo’ has caused much annoyance to teammates the world over.
3) Steven Seagal
‘No 3!?’ I hear you all exclaim in disbelief. Well Ai-kid-o you not. While your reeling from the blow of that horrible pun imagine what the Aikido master himself could do. Yes, this 7th Dan, trench coat wearing, pony tailed prodigy knocks off movies as easily as he knocks off bad guys! His rotten tomato score of 13% does him no justice. Averaging an amazing 3 movies a year for the past seven years Seagal shows he is indeed ‘Hard to Kill’. However NONE of these straight-to-dvd movies have been rated – a top honour! His last rated movie received an honourable 0%, offering a ‘Glimmer Man’ of hope to this ‘Patriot’ of keeping his 3rd spot in the face of future competition…
Best Movie: All 10,000 of them
Why we love him: This everyday cop (or father) is always ‘Out for Justice’ be it to protect his honour or save his kidnapped daughter. While his moves have slowed down, Seagal hasn’t and his movies continue to define the genre of ‘Dumb Action’. In fact so loved is he in Japan that they released a hit cartoon in his honour – Dragon Ball Z (thus the excruciatingly slow battles) and decided to make the Live Action movie to a similar quality to Seagal’s own.
4) Jason Statham
The son of Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver, Jason Arnold Willis Statham was raised in England by his uncle Liam Neeson. A medical marvel, Statham erupted from his mother’s chest as a fully stubbled adult. This, along with a lack of hair on his head, has led scientists to believe that he is actually a hybrid human-xenomorph. This hypothesis is only enhanced by his super-strength and ability to withstand poisons and falls from great heights. His super reactions are the basis for his driving ability and martial arts skills. No genetic testing has been possible due to issues with test tubes melting when his blood is put in.
Best Movie: Crank
Why we love him: Leading a life of badassery inherited from his parents, Statham was original diagnosed with Schizophrenia and sent to jail. During the filming of the documentary ‘Mean Machines’ his talent was noticed and Statham was released on a Community Treatment Order. Out of jail and out for revenge Statham uses his special abilities to provide the best action movies of these times. Indeed it is only out of respect that he has not taken 2nd place.
5) Jean-Claude Van Damme
The first cloned human Gene-Claude Van Damme is a street fighting machine. Despite a name change to Jean to try and hide his unique past his talent remains in full view. Indeed the fear he evokes in his victims has been recognised with a medical term named after him. For those familiar with vascular diseases you will no doubt know about the symptom of pain in the legs after walking a certain distance. There is no surprise as to why this is called ‘Intermittent CLAUDEication’. This pain is the same as that experienced by victims who try to flee.
Best Movie: Universal Soldier
Why we love him: Starting off at the bottom of the pecking order in a time of legends Jean ‘claude’ his way back to the top and will always be remembered by fans of dumb actions and kickboxing the world over. A shame he has indeed been considered expendable L
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