Showing 1 - 4 of 4 Movie Blogs
green hornet looks like shit. not funny + cameron diaz = shit
0 Comments | Send This |
okay if you haven't seen the trailer for this movie yet you can find it here. Please accept my apology in advance for putting you through this. You're life would have been better off if you had never known of it's existence. It's that bad.
My question is why? Why Brendan Frasier? I didn't really like you before, but now... you've taken it to a whole new level. If we thought The mummy 3 was bad... was that it? You had to prove that you could sink so much lower? That asian guy from the Hangover. he has an excuse. All he gets are crappy movie offers like The Goods. And the director. I know he had it bad after he decided to make Cruel Intentions 2. That's one of those instances where the studio wants a sequel and the director and the actors distance themselves as far from it as possible. Well apparantly Roger Kumble didn't get the memo and made the second one. A lot of people didn't like the first one but at least it was stylish and funny. And then he made college road trip. If you work with Martin Lawrence in a family movie made by Disney, you've pretty much hit rock bottom, but no it looks like the director wants to prove a point just like Brendan Fraser. It can and thanks to Summit Entertainment, will happen. (this loses any credibilty the hurt locker ever established for you by the way)
This trailer to me is the death of cinema. Game over man, game over. this is what studios are gonna pay for. this will make money and pave the way for animal puppets/shinanigan movies most likely gonna be produced by Brendan Fraser, now.
What are they thinking? This trailer looks like every cliche ever invented about forest animals took a dump on my face.
He screams Miley Cyrus for god's sake. Steve Carrel couldn't even pull that off in the 40 year old virgin, screaming kelly Clarkson out loud. He is a million times funnier than Brendan Fraser will ever be. He said it on improvisation, too. which means no one wrote it in the script and printed it out and given to a person to read and realize it was a shitty joke. And that was 5 years ago!!!
Why does a fucking squirrel scream? that's so fucking stupid. did they think it was a good idea to put that in the trailer? like it was comedic gold? Why don't they just put one of the million fart jokes that are gonna be in this movie? woops i spoke too soon. of course the skunks are gonna spray Brendan Fraser. It's not quite a fart so i think they thought that they were being original.
I hope that that was hot coffee that Brendan Fraser just threw all over his face like a porn star during the money shot. What kind of lesson is that for kids? Hot Coffee over your friends face = hilarity? You know what that coffee spill represents? It represents us, the audience. Because we are so stupid and so oblivious to that fact that this is drivel and should not have been made. " You guys want another great movie like the Hurt Locker? Here, how about some hot coffee all over your faces instead."
And two more poop jokes? another cum shot-like clip from the lady getting pooped on by a bird and Brendan Fraser covered in shit after getting trapped in a porta-potty ala Steve-O from Jackass. I don't consider myself to be highbrow when it comes to movies but I have to draw the line.
This movie gets my vote for worst picture of the year at "The Razzies" if the judges can sit through the whole thing. I almost threw up from just the trailer. Yeah this is one of those movies you go to if you swallow poison and need to induce vomiting. though i wouldn't blame you if you decide to drink more poison after enduring this movie.
Tomatometer prediction: 0%-1%
0 Comments | Send This |
This is mainly a follow-up to the last entry. i don't think i'm gonna continue rating the trailers like that. it's too daunting and I actually had a 2nd blog written about a week after i released the first one, but the internet screwed up and it got deleted. I was crushed. i did a super long post all for nothing. needless to say, i was not gonna rewrite it. it took me almost two hours the first time. But to my few readers, don't be saddened, i'm gonna try to do some of the trailers. maybe one or two at a time. Unfortunately no trailers have been catching my eye. I just watched the new Alice in Imax so the only trailers were for "how to train your dragon" and a few lame Imax movies.
How to train your dragon looks just ok. The jokes weren't that funny and i don't understand the hype for the movie. I think it's popular because it's gonna be in 3-D and Dreamworks put a buttload of money into the marketing. They actually got one of the correspondants to plug the movie during a broadcast of the Winter Olympic games. He said something like, "You know, snowboarding is fairly new to the olympics but it actually has a rich history. Dreamworks has imagined what it looked like in the time of vikings. let's take a look." It was hilarious and shameless. Tomatometer prediction: 58%-68%
The more I see Toy Story 3 trailers, the more I think it will definitely not be as good as Toy Story 2. It's made to appeal to the kids but they could at least use one grade A joke. And they try to add heart to it by showing Andy saying that Woody is brave and would never give up on you, but c'mon, how would he know Woody was brave? he never came to life in front of him. 90%-100% anyway. it's pixar. it's toy story. still gonna be great.
And last, and least Shrek forever after. First of all, they need to tell us what this is about. Apparently Shrek is in an alternate universe where he never existed or something and Donkey doesn't know him. Puss is fat, and Fiona is a feared ogre. The plot seems ok but again with the lamest jokes to put in a trailer. This is Shrek dammit. I highly doubt that there isn't gonna be one funny scene that they coulda put in this trailer and for the love of god, please don't be as bad as Shrek the Third. Prediction: 71%-81%
Well, it looks like i was wrong about Daybreakers and Alice. I predicted that they'd be at 55%-65% and 75%-85% on the tomatometer. i was so close with Daybreakers though. i was off by two, which at the time of me writing this is at 67% and Alice (which I reviewed; check it out) is much lower than my estimate, at 54%.
0 Comments | Send This |
Okay. This is the first installation of my critiquing of movie trailers and hopefully I will keep up on it, but I'm not making any promises that I will...
First up is the 2nd trailer for Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland which can be seen here: [URL]http://www.rottentomatoes.com/dor/objects/14219277/10009599-alice_in_wonderland/videos/alice_wonderland_trl_121609.html[/URL]
My first thoughts (or rather second thoughts, because I thought this about the first trailer as well) are that this is obviously a sequel of some kind. Alice is much older than she is usually portayed as on her first trip to Wonderland and of course the Madhatter recognizes her when he sees her and tells her that the Queen of Hearts (Bonham-Carter) has taken over all of Wonderland. I must also note that this trip through Wonderland is a bit different than the first, actually a lot different, mainly because this seems more along the lines of an epic action-adventure like the Chronicles of Narnia, as opposed to the quant children's tale of a sort of spiritual and mental journey. It seems that Disney said, "To hell with that boring old Alice, lets give her a sword, and Johnny Depp will play the Madhatter!" Disney, where do you come up with all these ideas?
Well it's working because I want to see this movie, if only to see a new Tim Burton film, but personally I think he's out of his element with this one. In my opinion, he doesn't do well with adaptations, with the exception of Sweeney Todd, so not only is this a story where he doesn't have complete power over his characters, but it just so happens to be an action movie. I'm sure that he'll cope though, as long as he has Depp, Bonham-Carter, and Danny Elfman are with him. I'm sure he feels right at home.
My biggest problem... actually it's more of a worry, is that the portrayal of the Madhatter seems a little bit watered down. let me explain. To me, the perfect embodiment of the Madhatter is in the Disney cartoon version. The Madhatter to me fits perfectly in that medium but in this trailer he seems to be just some goofy man instead of a living caricature. Overall though, I'm highly anticipating this one and am sure it'll set my doubts to rest.
Tomatometer Prediction: 75%-85%
Next we have a Toy Story 3 ABC clip which can be seen here: [URL]http://www.rottentomatoes.com/dor/objects/150898/toy_story_3/videos/toystory3_trl__abcfirstlook_122909.html[/URL]
All I can say is, Wow! This movie looks great just by seeing only a minute of it. At first, I was sceptical that this would be as good as Toy Story 2, which i liked a lot but not as much as the original Toy Story. I was sceptical because the director of the first two, John Lasseter, didn't come back for thirds but then I realized that he also directed Cars, which is my least favorite Pixar movie, so I decided that maybe he's starting to lose it and it made me feel a little bit better about the new direction. So I was mainly worried about the time it took to get a new Toy Story out here. It's been years since the 2nd one and I felt that maybe this one wouldn't carry the same feelings that the others had and then I saw that they skipped a whole decade in Andy's life with Woody and the rest and I started to feel old but this clip swayed me.
Pixar wouldn't let me down and seeing as how Up was my favorite movie of the year, I'm ready for more. I don't even care that they had to change slinkey's voice on count of Jim Varney's passing. The new voice actor sounds great and I'm really looking forward to Toy Story 3.
Tomatometer Prediction: 90%-100%
Ridley Scott's Robin Hood trailer just came out:[URL]http://www.rottentomatoes.com/dor/objects/881783/robin_hood_2010/videos/robin_hood_trlr_122809.html[/URL]
Ridley Scott is teaming up yet again with, you guessed it Russell Crowe. To be perfectly frank, I don't expect too much out of either of them. Russell Crowe doesn't impress me and Ridley Scott needs to do another sci-fi flick. I don't much care for his Kingdom of Heaven and Gladiator-type epics. They're ok but we seriously need another Alien or another Blade Runner-style classic. I do like Cate Blanchett though and she is a beacon of Oscar hope, I think, so the movie doesn't look bad, just sort of mediocre.
Personally, i also think that a Robin Hood movie is unnecessary, but it does intrigue me that it's not the typical Hood story. It's dark and broad and not so bright-green-tights.
Tomatometer Prediction: 58%-68%
Inception, directed by Chris Nolan: [URL]http://www.rottentomatoes.com/dor/objects/14322233/1217219-inception/videos/inception_trlr_123009.html[/URL]
Let me start by saying that I am already in line to see this movie. The trailer, I'll admit, wasn't that great. My favorite part of it is when Chris Nolan's name shows up at the beginning. Nolan has to be one of the best directors of this generation and Leonardo DiCaprio is great in his movies so what's not to like here?
Well, I suppose the movie as of right now is held down and i believe that the trailer is to blame. Actually, I saw this just last weekend before Sherlock Holmes started and while I was drooling, no one else was impressed (A woman behind me seriously whispered that it looked stupid to her boyfriend).I think the problem is that it looks like a disaster movie and a sci-fi movie and a psychological drama all mashed into a minute-long, confusing trailer. I have no idea whats going on as I'm sure most people have no idea either. The music is forgettable and the narration sounds self-important so I don't blame anyone for not wanting to see this movie based on this trailer. As for me, and anyone else who knows Chris Nolan as more than "The guy who directed the Dark Knight" we'll be waiting for this one
Tomatometer Prediction: 84%-94%
Wow, all the movies this week look pretty good. What about the new Daybreakers clips?: [URL]http://www.rottentomatoes.com/dor/objects/960375/daybreakers/videos/daybreakers_2_123009.html[/URL]
Well, thankfully, with the onslaught of vampire crap coming out thanks to Stephenie Meyer and her publishers, we might actually get to see something worth watching, in Daybreakers. I'll admit that I'm not too enthused about this film, but these clips shed a little more light on the movie than the trailer. It's like True Blood set in the future and it's breaking a sort of ground that we haven't seen too much of in Vampire movies with the "running out of humans" story.
I'd also like to see how Willem Dafoe does in yet another vampire role; I'm starting to feel like he's this generation's Bela Lugosi. I do like vampire stories but this one seems more like an Underworld than a Nosferatu so I may just wait for a discount theatre to play this or wait for the dvd. Paying 12 bucks for this one would only make me a statistic for the high demand of vampire stuff.
Tomatomer Prediction: 55%-65%
0 Comments | Send This |