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okay if you haven't seen the trailer for this movie yet you can find it here. Please accept my apology in advance for putting you through this. You're life would have been better off if you had never known of it's existence. It's that bad.
My question is why? Why Brendan Frasier? I didn't really like you before, but now... you've taken it to a whole new level. If we thought The mummy 3 was bad... was that it? You had to prove that you could sink so much lower? That asian guy from the Hangover. he has an excuse. All he gets are crappy movie offers like The Goods. And the director. I know he had it bad after he decided to make Cruel Intentions 2. That's one of those instances where the studio wants a sequel and the director and the actors distance themselves as far from it as possible. Well apparantly Roger Kumble didn't get the memo and made the second one. A lot of people didn't like the first one but at least it was stylish and funny. And then he made college road trip. If you work with Martin Lawrence in a family movie made by Disney, you've pretty much hit rock bottom, but no it looks like the director wants to prove a point just like Brendan Fraser. It can and thanks to Summit Entertainment, will happen. (this loses any credibilty the hurt locker ever established for you by the way)
This trailer to me is the death of cinema. Game over man, game over. this is what studios are gonna pay for. this will make money and pave the way for animal puppets/shinanigan movies most likely gonna be produced by Brendan Fraser, now.
What are they thinking? This trailer looks like every cliche ever invented about forest animals took a dump on my face.
He screams Miley Cyrus for god's sake. Steve Carrel couldn't even pull that off in the 40 year old virgin, screaming kelly Clarkson out loud. He is a million times funnier than Brendan Fraser will ever be. He said it on improvisation, too. which means no one wrote it in the script and printed it out and given to a person to read and realize it was a shitty joke. And that was 5 years ago!!!
Why does a fucking squirrel scream? that's so fucking stupid. did they think it was a good idea to put that in the trailer? like it was comedic gold? Why don't they just put one of the million fart jokes that are gonna be in this movie? woops i spoke too soon. of course the skunks are gonna spray Brendan Fraser. It's not quite a fart so i think they thought that they were being original.
I hope that that was hot coffee that Brendan Fraser just threw all over his face like a porn star during the money shot. What kind of lesson is that for kids? Hot Coffee over your friends face = hilarity? You know what that coffee spill represents? It represents us, the audience. Because we are so stupid and so oblivious to that fact that this is drivel and should not have been made. " You guys want another great movie like the Hurt Locker? Here, how about some hot coffee all over your faces instead."
And two more poop jokes? another cum shot-like clip from the lady getting pooped on by a bird and Brendan Fraser covered in shit after getting trapped in a porta-potty ala Steve-O from Jackass. I don't consider myself to be highbrow when it comes to movies but I have to draw the line.
This movie gets my vote for worst picture of the year at "The Razzies" if the judges can sit through the whole thing. I almost threw up from just the trailer. Yeah this is one of those movies you go to if you swallow poison and need to induce vomiting. though i wouldn't blame you if you decide to drink more poison after enduring this movie.
Tomatometer prediction: 0%-1%
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