Posted on 1/06/11 03:50 PM
DAMN! Misery is a masterpiece in thriller cinema! That doesnt even do it justice. It is one of the scariest movies I've ever seen!
Paul Sheldon is a writer who got his big break writing these kind of romance novels based on a character called Misery. He never really wanted to write these stories and he wants to go on to write better things so in his last book he kills the character off. After he writes a new book in the mountains of Colorado he crashes his beautiful 1965 Mustang (WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE CAR!) in the snow. He wakes up in the house of Anne Wilkes who is an ex nurse and a huge fan of his Misery books. She takes good care of him until she finds out that he killed Misery in his latest book. She goes crazy and keeps him captive so that he can write a new Misery book.
Now the movie might not sound that scary. But Wilkes turns out to be a murdering psycho who deliberately cripples Sheldon and kills anyone who comes looking for him. She's a complete psycho and she's scary as shit.
The ending is great! It's one of the best climaxes in a film other than Scarface. This movie has fantastic acting and suspense that will kill you! If you want to be thrilled and a little grossed out then check this out!
Memorable line: "You killed my Misery you COCKSUCKER!"-Anne Wilkes
Posted on 1/06/11 03:25 PM
Asians love monster movies for some reason. Gamera, Mothra, Jet Jaguar, Destroyah, and ofcourse Godzilla. If that stuff is your taste see my review of Godzilla vs. Destroyah.
But this movie is not like those at all! Those movies are cheesy and not serious and thats why they're awesome. This movie is serious, original, and very very good.
A man runs a food stand in Korea near the Han river. One day people see some strange tadpole thingy hanging on the bridge. At first people are throwing food in the water for it and its just a thing of curiosity until it jumps out of the water and starts killing everyone. The thing takes the man's daughter and keeps her in a pit in the sewer with a bunch of dead bodies.
Meanwhile the government says that anyone who has come into contact with the monster has a bad virus. So the man and his family search all the sewers around the Han river for the girl while being hunted down by the government at the same time.
The movie is a little strange but the story is original and the ending is great. I would highly recommend this one!
Memorable line: How many tails does that thing have?
Posted on 1/06/11 03:19 PM
Damn its good to see Mel Gibson back on screen doing what he does best, KICKIN SOME ASS!
Now first lets talk about the flaws. The movie definitely had them. First off the story isn't all that original although its not a complete rip off. Its the same good stuff, Gibson looses someone close to him and then the vengeful rampage begins. Also there was a scene when he gets kidnapped and taken to a facility, but he breaks free within 5 minutes of us seeing him there and then goes back home. Ya we see him kick a couple guys asses but it leaves you thinking, "Um, okay what was the point of that?"
The movie also had some other flaws but I don't think that they're really important.
Now the good parts of the movie. The acting was pretty good. Mel does his usual routine but he's good at it and the other actors also deserve a mention for their performances. Also the action scenes were very satisfying although they were pretty short. Most of the movie is Gibson trying to find out what was happening to his daughter so most of the ass kicking is saved for the end. Speaking of which the ending is awesome! I thought it was very satisfying and I don't think they could've ended it better.
All in all, Edge of Darkness is your typical Mel Gibson movie but theres nothing wrong with that. I recommend it for some good entertainment.
Memorable quote: Oh and by the way, thanks for not killing me.
Posted on 1/06/11 03:16 PM
In film class we were taught that a Film is made for artistic and and story values. A Movie, is made for entertainment and money. This is DEFINITELY a movie, but hey, I enjoy some mindless entertainment every now and then.
The story is good enough to keep things going. There are some cool twists and I feel that the characters are developed well enough. But the action is really what it's all about. Fast cars, big explosions, and hot girls, it's just awesome. This is really one of those movies where you just sit back and let yourself be entertained.
The story is that in 2012 (ya 2012) the worlds economy has gone down the shitter even more (which will probably happen). The prison system has been taken over by private companies who host gladiator races with their prisoners. Jensen Aimes is a man who works at a steel mill which closes down and in a flash his wife is murdered and he's framed. He gets sent to prison where he is offered a chance to race as the prized racer who secretly died. His job is to wear the racers mask and race in his place. If he wins 1 more race he gets his freedom. All he wants is to get out and get his daughter back, so he accepts.
I really liked the gritty and dirty look of the movie. Everything is dark and dirty and it really puts you in the environment. Another thing I liked is how the warden of the prison is a woman. She holds herself with such a power that if it were a man it would come off as stupid but Joan Allen really pulls off the part. And of course the car he drives is a tricked out Mustang (its awesome).
Now the movie does have problems. Like I said, the story isn't much, but thats not its problem. The real problem is that the editing and cutting in the action sequences is VERY choppy. I guess its a trademark of Anderson's but he just needs to stop it. When there is action I want to see it but many times you feel confused because you cant see. It's not as bad as other films like Batman Begins but people need to make action scenes more fluent.
Like I said, not best picture material, but a damn good explosion of entertainment!
Memorable line: "Now thats entertainment"
Posted on 6/21/10 08:43 PM
Lol, I just couldn't help myself. My favorite movie critic is James Rolfe from Cinemassacre.com and every October he does a short horror movie review every day leading up to Halloween. Well in his 2nd year of doing this he decided to do Godzilla movies instead of horror movies and his reviews are entertaining as hell, I highly recommend them. Anyway this one looked interesting so I watched it on my Xbox and all I can say is WOW.
Its what you would expect from a Godzilla movie. Bad dubbing, cheesy special effects, and ofcourse big ass monsters beating the shit out of each other. Its just an explosion of entertainment. If your willing to let go of your sense of seriousness and logic and just enjoy an over the top cheese-fest, then this movie is for you!
Anyway, the plot, Godzilla is all burnt up and red and it turns out that because he was made from nuclear radiation his heart is a nuclear reactor (actual explanation in the movie, Im not kidding). So his reactor is melting down due to some explosion from the last movie. If he explodes the world is fucked = we all die. And to make matters worse there are these creatures running around killing people.
The scenes with the creatures are cool. They're like a mix between scorpions, predator, and alien and the scene with them attacking the SWAT teams make me feel like Im watching Aliens by James Cameron. So the creatures all morph into one big ass monster called DESTROYAH (thats literally the way it is spelled AND said). Godzilla's son (yes he has a son) fights it and beats it. But when Godzilla shows up it gets back up and beats the shit out of Jr. So him and Godzilla duke it out in one hugely entertaining fight.
DESTROYAH actually beats Godzilla and almost gets away, but the army use their freeze cannons to kill it. Just then Godzilla melts down but the army use their freeze cannons on him so the explosion doesn't kill everyone. It's actually kind of sad when Godzilla dies because it was a big deal, it was his 22nd movie, he's fought countless monsters and has been so indestructable that its surprising to actually see him die. But don't worry, this is no where near the last Godzilla movie.
This was one of the first Godzilla movies I'd ever seen and all I know is that I was extremely entertained. Compared to the other films, this one is pretty original with all the little DESTROYAHS running around. Now this might not be your taste and thats fine. It's cheesy, it's over the top, and it's ridiculous but it leaves you frozen in awe. I recommend it for a fun watch.
Memorable line: DESTROYAH!
Posted on 4/09/10 12:07 PM
Now I must say Im not a huge fan of remakes, but after watching the original Titans I saw that there was a lot of room for improvement. And they seemed to fill a lot of it in this remake.
The plot is mainly the same with some differences. In this movie man is angry at the gods for making their lives miserable. They burn temples and destroy statues. The gods are angry and Hates asks Zeus to let him punish the humans. He acts like he is helping the gods when all he wants is to gain power so that he can rule. He tells the people that in 10 days they have to sacrifice their princess or else they'll all be killed.
Perseus(Worthington) is the son of Zeus and is pretty much forced to help the people on the grounds that he gets to get revenge on Hates for killing his family.
This movie has more characters for us to care about. The action scenes are just fantastic! The special effects are really cool and there isn't too much cg (but theres still a lot). Perseus only gets one gift from the gods this time and its the sword.
There are some plot holes and the script isnt the greatest by far. It still has an element of cheesiness but it doesnt even get close to the amount the original had.
Despite the minor problems I found this movie very entertaining and lot of fun. I think its much better than the original and I would recommend this one a lot more. Although I do suggest that you watch the original first so that you can see how things improved.
Memorable line: Don't look this bitch in the eye!
Posted on 4/09/10 11:52 AM
Do you like epic movies? Ones about Greek Mythology and monsters? With awesome battles and amazing stunts? Or do you like cheesy 80's fantasy flicks? Because if you like the second one you'll like this movie a lot.
This movie has many claims to fame. With several big name actors like Burgess Meredith, and the awesome stop motion effects by Ray Harryhausen (I think I spelled that wrong). It has a pretty big cult following and I enjoyed it.
The story is pretty interesting. A greek king sends a woman and her child out to see in a coffin like thing. The gods get pissed and destroy his city with the Kraken and bring the woman and her son to safety.
The son grows up as a very ugly man and one day wakes up in Burgess Meredith's arena (can I just call him Mickey and get it over with). He gets 3 gifts from the gods (he ends up losing them all), a magic sword, a helmet that turns him invisible, and a shield that talks. He goes to the city to free it from a curse. After he does the people insult the gods and the gods tell them that in a month their princess will be sacrificed to the Kraken. So now they have to find a way to kill the Kraken.
At one point the son gets a robotic owl from the gods which is EXACTLY like R2-D2 (not kidding).
The whole movie is good cheesy fun. The stop motion effects are awesome especially for their time.
Its on Netflix instant play so I would go check it out if I were you for a fun time.
Posted on 3/15/10 03:00 PM
OH MAN. First let me say that Im a big fan of the Call of Duty games and I must admit I've spent quite a few hours playing Nazi zombies. So when I saw a trailer for a movie about Nazi Zombies(not the game just the concept) I almost shit my pants.
The truth though is that I almost skipped this one because I didnt think I'd like it. WHAT WAS I THINKING.
The first half of the movie is your typical stupid teen horror movie. Bunch of young people going to a cabin in the wilderness in a cursed area. Some sex some beer, you know, the works. But it all changes with one awesome kill where a mans skull is RIPPED IN HALF! You don't see it coming! And it sets the tone for the rest of the movie. An awesome zombie flick with so much exaggerated gore that its hilarious.
Its as if the filmmakers started off making a normal horror movie and then halfway through went "Fuck it lets just make it hilarious", and they succeeded VERY well. They knew that theres a limit to how serious Nazi zombies can be so they dont make it serious at all.
The zombies arent your typical type. They dont necessarily eat people, they just want their gold(like leprichaun, Lol, I cant believe I made a reference to leprichaun). They use bayonets and bite people.
The whole movie is a disgusting feast to the eyes. I wouldnt check it out if your squemish but if your not just sit back and enjoy a balls to the walls hilarious gore-fest.
Funny as hell 4.8/5
memorable line: (All covered in blood
"Where have you been"
PS. The movies Norwegian so it has subtitles, just a warning
If you want a little taste of what Im talkin about, check this out, probably my favorite movie scene EVER!
(Im one sick bastard)
Posted on 3/07/10 08:36 AM
Now this is a weird one, for weird reasons.
The first half of the movie is a chilling crime drama with some disturbing violence. Then the second half is an over the top cheesy vampire flick with lots of funny gore and some awesome fight scenes.
Quentin Tarantino's brilliant writing (and acting) with Robert Rodriguez's awesome direction come together perfectly. The acting is great, especially George Clooney as Seth. He gives some great lines and we believe it.
Like I said the first half is very serious and disturbing. It's just these 2 criminals trying to get to the Mexican border with their hostages. But as soon as they are in Mexico they go to this stripper bar called the Titty Twister which just so happens to be filled with vampires. You can really tell that the second half is just for fun and its not supposed to be taken seriously. It just looks like they had a lot of fun making it and the fun rubs off on the audience. The scene where Tom Savini turns into a vampire is hilarious and I thought I'd see Quentin Tarantino bite someone.
The real problem with this movie is that the two halves really clash with each other and the film feels really unbalanced. It may put you off but if you just sit back and enjoy it it's really a lot of fun.
Memorable line: Now I don't want to hear "I don't believe in vampires" because I don't fucking believe in vampires, but I believe in my own two eyes, and what I saw was fucking vampires!
Posted on 3/06/10 01:13 PM
Now before I do this review first let me talk about my views on remakes. I think movies that are over 30 or 40 years old are ready to be remade and sometime filmmakers do it in a good and respectable matter. But I hate it when hollywood goes ahead and allows tons of remakes of movies that arent ready to be remade. I'm fine with the wolfman remake and the all the remakes of the old Universal monster flicks. I think if they want to remake something then they should remake a really old movie that is ready, not all the 80's slasher flicks damn it!
So after I watched the original Dracula I decided to watch the remake. And all that I can say is that......it was ok.
The problems lie in some of the dialogue and the acting. Keanu Reaves really isn't that good of an actor and even though I don't hate him, I think he should have stuck to Bill and Ted. Winona Ryder has her moments but in this movie she really isn't that good. A lot of the dialogue is really cheesy and it seems unneeded.
The story adds a lot more depth to Dracula and makes him seem more like a tragic villian rather than an evil son of a bitch. Unfortunately it isn't executed very well. All he wants is to have his lost love, and by the end of the movie he is redeemed.
I must say that this one is pretty entertaining. The sets and the action are pretty satisfying . I loved Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing, he's really the one who saves this movie for me. He puts a lot of intensity into the role and its very similar to Peter Cushing's Van Helsing which is great. Gary Oldman was pretty good as Dracula but they make him very........ weird.
All around its not that bad of a movie for a remake. But it really lacks in some of the writing and a lot of the acting isn't very good. I'd check it out for some entertainment but not much else.
Memorable line: Can I see the girls grave?
Your not going to do anything are you?
No I just want to cut out her heart and chop off her head.