Posted on 7/05/11 05:27 AM
It's a week tomorrow since I saw this film and although I have not totally calmed down, I have done enough to properly explain exactly why I hated this film. First of all, where is all this crap coming from that Rosie Huntington-Whitely is a better actress than Megan Fox. True, Megan Fox is not any where near amazing but she can actually act. Whenever Whitely was on, I was praying for her to stop talking so I could at least pretend she did not talk like a robot. At the end of the day, she really was only there for something "beautiful" to stand in front of a huge explosion erupting through the street in slow motion. And of course, she ignores it because Andy Samberg said "cool guys don't look at explosions". That's right, I said she's a guy.
Secondly, the racist stereotypes known as "the twins" were gone which made me happy. But then, a Scottish stereotype walked on followed by a f*****g Italian stereotype. Not only this, Bay said he'd get rid of the f*****g nerd humour but alas! there was twice as much in the first half of the film only! Once again, this humour was not funny and was about as entertaining as chlamydia (to be blunt). I don't understand why Michael Bay is doing this to us when all I really wanted was an entertaining bit of action which was what I expected after Revenge of the Fallen. This swiftly moves on to the second half which was mainly action but tried too hard to have drama and shit in there too.
The action would have been good, but it was so abrupt in the way it switched on and off and on and off and on and off... you get the picture. There would be literally a few minutes of action which would suddenly just stop and we would be greeted with more failure in drama. The film really did make an attempt to make it more than action but the overwhelming amount of shit that got doubled in the transfer from the predecessor film was too much. It got so bad, even the action was boring. I went to urinate when Optimus Prime was saving the day and he is like the best character. And I'll tell you what, the urine was more entertaining action-wise and a lot f*****g funnier to watch!
I don't want to sum it up... because it just brings back memories that hopefully one day I'll forget. The worst that could happen is those repressed memories returning one day when I'm trying to eat a meal or am enjoying the Pyramids or Smithsonian Museum.