Posted on 8/17/11 03:02 PM
I don't need to tell people why this is so mindblowingly awful since Mr Plinkett has done it so well but I feel the need to get this off my chest. The story in the Phantom menace makes no sense at all this is not just nitpicks it really is that the entire story doesn't have any logic behind it and despite the fact that the movie came out 12 years ago only speculation and tie-ins can actually make sense of it. Why did Palpatine do all of this trade crap. If you're going to say "because he wanted the Natalie Portman to create a no confisdence thingamig" but why did he INSIST on making the Natalie Portman sign to treaty to make the invasion legal (which is retarded because every invading force would just make them sign the treaty anyway) thus making any action against the the Trade Federation illegal. Also the vote of No Confidence thing is just one of many out comes so why risk everything for a one in a million chance he'd gain everything why did he even need the Natalie Portman when he could have just proposed the vote himself or on one of the other dumb senators. So basically the plot makes no sense at ALL and is confusing as fuck. When I first saw this film I was extremely confused within the first 30 seconds and as a star wars geek which this film is aimed I still am. The average Star Wars nerd doesn't give a damn about politics and can't be bothered with them and if you find a child who understands this then give him to scientists to study how he can care and pay attention for so long. The politics in the prequels are boring. pointless and hold no meaning who the fuck thought it was a good idea to include them in a Star Wars the franchise that started the summer action blockbusters. This movie was aimed AT KIDS NOT POLITICIANS. So since the Phantom Menace is primarily just a bunch of people walking around how are the characters. They're either boring assholes(everyone except Jar Jar Binks, R2D2, C3PO, Watto and the kids) or a annoying attempt at humor and fun. And either one of those two types can be a racist stereotype (Jar Jar Binks, Watto and the Asian Trade Federation). The best thing about this film is Jar Jar Binks and Anakin. Yes you heard me right they where. They where the only attempts at fun which is what the original trilogy (to me) is known for. They where pathetic attempts that ruined one of the coolest villains ever and retarded rabbit. That's how bad the rest of the characters where so god-damn boring that make you want to cry. They are what make the Phantom Menace so boring. Darth Maul's only purpose is to kill Qui-Gon Ginn and then get killed (Qui-Gon's role could have easily been Obi-Wan Kenobi's and it would have made alot more sense seeing their bond begin instead of Obi-Wan dismissing him as a whiny bitch which he is). He has no character at all and should have just escaped and took Dooku's role. The action is uninvolving because you hate the characters and the scene when Anakin takes out the command ship is embarrassing. Lucas thinks rehashing scenes from the previous movies will work because those scenes where great but he's completely wrong. The Death Star scene was great because the film's attention was on it completely, the tension about the Death Star was built up through the film, you liked Luke and it wasn't a completely stupid rehash. The CGI is crap except the Lightsabers and the scene with Darth Maul is obviously choreographed and since when do Jedis have all these powers and what was the reason other that to have a special effect. The dialogue is terrible but not as bad as the sequel. The fact this movie was hyped up so bad was hilarious and heartbreaking considering the results.